How Do You Balance Two Contradictory Fetishes?

[Amnesiac]

I just recently learned that our beloved bella is not only a cruel and equal-opportunity torturer of ticklish people😀 but also a co-host of Tamingwood, Ohio's #1 spanknig group. Naturally, this made as much sense to me as butterfly wings on a dump truck, but I figured, if she's one, there must be others.

Which led me to ponder a seemingly imponderable question: how do you live with two contradictory fetishes/interests?

I know that spanking, like tickling, can be sexual and non-sexual. This is where I'm confused. How can a person simultaneously house the desire to apply pleasure to elicit laughter with the desire to apply pain and sniffling? Is it different for sexual and non-sexual? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Please explain this, if it is possible.

Addendum: The reason I don't get spanking is because I associate it with an inherently sinister aspect of a person's psyche to dominate and oppress another through pain, humiliation and intimidation. But that's just my interpretation, and only for reference.

 

[milagros317]

I don't see spanking and tickling as contradictory. Like Bella, I am interested in both. They are independent of each other, and each can be an erotic sensation in the right context.

In my sessions with Mistress Zara, she generally uses both. 😀

 

[featherfingers]

My Tickle Ladyfriend loves to be tickled but she asked me a long time ago to spank her every now and then as well. Naturally, I incorporate spanking into the tickle sessions but as usual, I'm pretty gentle with that... firm but gentle.

Personally, spanking her doesn't do anything for me, but if that's what she wants, I'm happy to oblige.

I don't see them as contradictory, either. They are two different extremes of the sense of touch*, much as hot and cold are two different extremes of water. They compliment one another, in a sense.

*In the sense that my tickles are a light and gentle touch as opposed to the more 'severe' and firmer touch used in spanking.

 

[Neutron]

How Exactly Do These Fetishes Contradict???

If someone had a cleanliness fetish but also enjoyed Golden Showers that would be contradictory.

And why do you even think of things like this? Worry about balancing life instead.

Tron

 

[chode]

Well, to put it another way, spanking actually feels good to some people. Plain and simple. Diferent strokes for different folks dude.

On another note, i have a cool/funky spanking story of my own. I mean, REAL SPANKING. I was in down town cleveland all night with a bud. We were leaving the bars in the warehouse district and he said "BOOTY CALL!" Whipping out his cell phone. Im not one for just banging the firs tthing that comes along, but my bud would put his thing into anything. Anyways. I told him if the gall he was setting me up with was a dog i was going to take his car and leave hiim at their house. Needless to say his booty was a very cute petite brunnete, and to my pleasent supprise so was her friend. So he sat on the couch and they went to it, and yes, we were a little toasted. So i sat down with the spank girl, ill call her that from now on and you will soon find out why. And we began to talk and stuff. She was very aggressive and just started to mess with me, you know what i mean. Now after only meeting a girl for 5 minutes and she wants your package....not what i would call a gal of much virtue, not that im a saint, but come on, she probably didnt rememebr my name after i walked in the door. And what i say next will prove this is a whacky situation. She liked to play rough, and i told her to stop, so she was being bitchy, kindagiving me a hard time, punching my arm and such, sat on me and tickled me a little, well, big mistake darling. I busted ass right there, and there wasnt any hiding it. My buddy stopped, sat up and had a beat red face with tears comming down he was laughing so hard, he couldnt belevie i just like farted on this chick. She said "did you just f-ing fart on me?" I said this with out winking and slightly laughing myself "Absolutly! And you know you still want me, so quit your complaining." Well with that ebing said, she grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom and closed the door. My buddy still in histerics on the couch on top of his girl.

She then led me to the bed where she took off my shirt and we started making out, i told you im not a saint, ill make out, what the hell. So after about 20 minutes of smooching and tickling her tiny cute feet her and there she got up and took off her clothes...........um.....ok then, nothing like getting to the point. She had no idea that i wasnt going to sleep with her. She climbed back on top of me, and yes, i still had my jeans on. She then grabbed big jim and the twins so damn hard i was in shock, "GIVE IT TO ME!" Hmmmmmmmm, uh, yeah, let go of jim and the twins or im going to kick your ass, not literaly, but i was ercked. She let go and started biting my chest and shit, crazy!
(Digression: Any girl you have known for 5 minutes, that you farted on, and still wants to have sexual relations with you....there has got to be something wrong with her!")

Back to the story So obviously, im not likeing the fact that she bit me so hard in a few spots i had bruises, she then demanded i spank her. So i was like , whatever, whetever will get you to calm down. So i spanked her, nothing i had done with anyone before except during sex a little swat her and there. She said harder, ok, then "HARDer!" I told her, "look at me for a second, im 6-1, 230 lbs of muscle, dont you think i would hurt you if i hit you that hard?" She just laughed and said do it. So i raised that hand up and belted her right on the ass. She fricking loved it. I on the other hand was a little weirded out by it, but hey, if wit would keep her happy, ill do it. She asked for it over and over and then to switch to the other cheek. Um..ok. So after i was done, and she asked me to "f" her 5 more times i just said it was time for bed. I couldnt beleive my restraint. But just go back to my "digression" i think thats a good reason for restraint on performing the hippidy dippity. The next morning i was bruised and had one sore ass hand. We went out to the living room and i woke up my bud and said lets get the hell outa here. The two gals called on our way back to our place and said we needed to do that again, and that "spank girl" had a great time with me and couldnt wait to see me again. Good lord. Thats my spanking story. Obviously she loved it and it felt good to her or something i dont understand happened that night. All i know is i didnt drive home drunk, and that i had a bed to sleep in with a cute girl, although i would call her somewhat crazy.

I know this isnt in the story section but i got on a roll. And the story didnt contain tickling. And i know how pissed people get when you post something in a section that shouldnt be there, so here it is. Move it if you must moderators. Just give it a title for me. "Crazy spank girl...true story!" Or something catchy like that.


And no, i never saw her again. The next weekend i had a first date with the girl i thought i would marry. And we all know how that turned out, after 7 months, terrible, i broke it off and now im in cincy! Go figure.

This has been a wierd ass presentation by "YJGFN" dONT ASK WHAT "YJGFN" STANDS FOR, I DONT KNOW.

 

[sushi854]

I don't believe that these two fetishes are contradictory, either. From my perspective at least, tickling is more about inflicting intense sensations on a helpless and/or submissive individual that it is about applying pleasure. I guess I associate tickling with the same "sinister" desire to dominate. In this sense, tickling and spanking may be seen as two means to the same end, although people may prefer both or one over the other. Of course I don't want to generalize, as everyone's fetish is different.

 

[BellaRisa]

I just recently learned that our beloved bella is not only a cruel and equal-opportunity torturer of ticklish people but also a co-host of Tamingwood, Ohio's #1 spanking group. Naturally, this made as much sense to me as butterfly wings on a dump truck, but I figured, if she's one, there must be others.

Actually I'm *the* host, though my boyfriend and my other friends are a tremendous help and I couldn't do it without them

There are a LOT of people who share both kinks, and many more who learn to love both (see Boomtown13's post about it from last summer).

how do you live with two contradictory fetishes/interests?

Um...you just kinda do, it's only as complex as one wants to make it 😎 Think of it as being a fan of chocolate and vanilla ice cream; very different flavors of the same item that compliment each other well. Sometimes you want one, sometimes the other, and then occasionally you get the swirl, and he who can swirl them correctly is a God among men (again, see Boom's post) .

The main bit I can tell you is not to think of consensual spanking as pain ; I don't like pain, it hurts me; root canals are horrible things and stubbing my toe makes me cry worse than anything over the knee. For most of us spanking's not about hurting, it's about intense-yet-enjoyable sensation and giving our power to a dominant/top we trust. Just like tickling. Both can be about pretty much whatever you want them to be about for that session: discipline, revenge, interrogation, sex, sensual fun...you name it.

As for spanking being thought of as sinister...dude, I have yet, in all my years in the BDSM world, to come across anything that's thought of as sinister the way tickling is. The spankers have nothing on us. I'm always amused by tickling enthusiasts who shudder at the thought of making someone sniffle over a red bottom, but have no issue reducing a 'lee to a sweaty, babbling, incoherent mess of begging 🙄 . "But she's laughing!" Yeah, tell me another one, I've used that one too many times 😎 Spanking people and tickling people each think the other group is sadistic and scary, while some of us are in the dead center shaking our heads 😛.


Take a look at www.shadowlane.com for an idea of what spanking's really about, you'll see a decent amount of similarity 🙂

Bella

 

[Sunriseticklee]

LMAO.....

Listen... I don't even know how to react to this thread without laughing.

To us, maybe not all of us, but many of us, tickling is an enjoyable, sexual, playful, wonderful... generally an uplifting intoxicating experience.

But let's be honest with ourselves here. It may not be as abrupt or as obvious as a slap on the ass, but tickling for some does equate to unpleasantness and "pain".

I could list some of the pain, such as, shortness of breath, tightening of the chest, soreness from incontrollable laughter and wild efforts of attempting to escape. And physiologically... WHEW! Do I even need to go there? The list is endless how horrible tickling can be to people who don't see it the way some of us do. Or for people who just plain despise it.

And from an outsider (any outsider), not even a "vanilla" outsider, I hear, "DAMN! How can you stand it? Why do you like tickling?" I try my best to explain.

But here on TMF? Heeheehee It just amuses the hell out of me that a tickle lover is shocked about someone's love for spanking.

Not able to understand it? Ok.... I get that. Shocked? Giggle.. It just makes me laugh. I'm sorry. And I really shouldn't laugh without giving some scientific and wonderful insight. But it's much more fun to laugh!

By the way, I LOVE LOVE LOVE being spanked. I remember the precise moment of realization, and how the feelings made me just want to explode (which I did).

Even after that shaking experience, I still have no idea how deep, nor how strong my love for spanking is because this is something that I don't even know how to begin to explore. Yet, it is no secret to the ones who know me most intimately what that type of touch does to me. And it isn't the pain that I get the erotic high from. (Because when it hurts, I unexcitably say OUCH!) It is something else that I really cannot explain, but exists just the same.

As far as the contradictory bit of how tickling and spanking are so opposite from each other, I can't even begin to tell you that tickling and spanking for me does go hand in hand (depending on mood and moment) quite wonderfully!

And I can't even begin explain the intense and intoxicating pleasure that envelops me in the midst of the tickling that sends me wild with laughter, coupled with that warm and firm slap that causes a hot tingling current to surge through my body which makes the ticklish assault even more maddening and excruciating than before.

As a result this tickling and spanking creates an endless breathless cycle that leaves me quaking and moaning with.... well, you get the point! 😀

Good GRACIOUS! Now you've gone and made me ache for some slap and tickle tonight! 😛 Thanks a lot! 🙄

Sunrise


PS... I really am just a straight laced gal gone astray. 😉

 

[Amnesiac]

Hmmmm...

I don't believe that these two fetishes are contradictory, either. From my perspective at least, tickling is more about inflicting intense sensations on a helpless and/or submissive individual that it is about applying pleasure. I guess I associate tickling with the same "sinister" desire to dominate. In this sense, tickling and spanking may be seen as two means to the same end, although people may prefer both or one over the other.
-sushi854

Ah, this explains some of the confusion; my fixation on tickling differs from most TMFers. The way I see tickling is to apply sensation in order to provoke an extreme pleasurable sensation, and the excitement comes from witnessing the intensity of the experience and the reaction of the lee; bondage is more or less a practical thing for me...a way to restrain the subject so they can't get away from my "experiments" with their flesh.

The main bit I can tell you is not to think of consensual spanking as pain ; I don't like pain, it hurts me;...For most of us spanking's not about hurting, it's about intense-yet-enjoyable sensation and giving our power to a dominant/top we trust. Just like tickling.
-bella

This explains it better than anything else I've ever seen. I've always associated spanking with pain, and the only context in which I enjoy pain is in torture DRAWINGS...real-life pain application throws me into homicidal rage. Knowing NOW that spanking is more about the intimacy of power dynamics and excitment from sharp sensations than it is about pain gives me a new outlook on the matter.

Both can be about pretty much whatever you want them to be about for that session: discipline, revenge, interrogation, sex, sensual fun...you name it...

And here I always thought it was about context...writers and fantasists needing believable scenarios where an indulgence of choice could be implemented. Who knew?

...dude, I have yet, in all my years in the BDSM world, to come across anything that's thought of as sinister the way tickling is...

THAT MEANS WE'RE THE MOST EVIL!!! TRIUMPH!!!!

I'm always amused by tickling enthusiasts who shudder at the thought of making someone sniffle over a red bottom, but have no issue reducing a 'lee to a sweaty, babbling, incoherent mess of begging. "But she's laughing!" Yeah, tell me another one, I've used that one too many times

Again, see above for explanation of 'not getting it.' And we hope you continue to keep using it on many occasions bella. On another note, a red bottom is indicative of broken cappilaries...I'm not sure what kind of deliberate non-malicious injury tickling creates (do wrist and ankle burns count?).

And I can't even begin explain the intense and intoxicating pleasure that envelops me in the midst of the tickling that sends me wild with laughter, coupled with that warm and firm slap that causes a hot tingling current to surge through my body which makes the ticklish assault even more maddening and excruciating than before.
-SunriseTicklee

See, from my perspective, the difference between the types of sensations would be enough to snap me out of whatever trance the other would have put me in. But I'm an obsessive personality, so switching tracks of anything tends to derail us and send us back to square one.

So now I have a much better idea of what spanking is to those who indulge in it and how similar/dissimilar it is to tickling. And hopefully I've clarified some stuff about how I see things and how they can lead me to not get stuff.


And now for something a little more interesting as a means of segue:

I could list some of the pain, such as, shortness of breath, tightening of the chest, soreness from incontrollable laughter and wild efforts of attempting to escape. And physiologically... WHEW! Do I even need to go there...
- SunriseTicklee

This has made me wonder: spanking and tickling...two different fetishes with different methods, using two different sensations but both provoking similar thrills. And using Sunrise's description, it makes me wonder if tickling and spanking are just sensual forms of what makes drug addiction work.

Many deaths result annually from autoerotic asphyxiation; tickling and spanking both have a pleasurable effect, based on their intensity, on breathing; plane crash survivors have related achieving euphoric states from taking massive panicked breaths of oxygen from their emergency masks; "huffers" inhale toxic fumes to stimulate the relaxing, if not lethal, out-of-body euphoria that comes from oxygen deprivation.

So I'm wondering now...does the pleasurable sensations and responses that come from most sensation-driven fetishes and experiences derive solely from the brain's reaction to oxygen levels? Euphoria can come from oxygen supersaturation as well as deprivation, so is breath play the primary cause behind most of these experiences and the choking, tickling, spanking, whipping, tying, etc. merely the different fetishized ways of getting into that state/pushing the brain to react?

Opinions on this are requested.

 

[tommytikl]

Here is my whole reason for liking to mix tickling and spanking...if you spank the skin the blood rushes to the surface and makes the skin MUCH more ticklish...
Also for those ticklee's that loose sensitivity after a while of being tickled in one spot, if you light to moderatly, spank the area, then you DON'T have to switch spots you can simply keep going on tickling the one area because it is ALIVE again!!

 

[desdemona]

Originally posted by Amnesicac_m(pc):

On another note, a red bottom is indicative of broken cappilaries...I'm not sure what kind of deliberate non-malicious injury tickling creates (do wrist and ankle burns count?).

Um...no. Technically, a red bottom would be a result of erythema caused by vasodilation (hence the effect of heat also). Just like tommytikl said (sorry, I'm paraphrasing), it's the increase in blood flow to the area. Nothing broken...yet 😉

 

[chode]

WORD!

 

[Boomtown13]

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=47664

This is the link, dear Bella, sweet mocha muffin. These fetishes don't contradict each other in the least, I've learned. Just ask any 'lees who have recently crossed my path.

Bella doll, check your email. We should make arrangements for your LA trip.

Boom

 

[chode]

desdemona



Your a vet arent ya? In the cincy area? Im adopting a dog and would love to be able to talk to you about it and hopefully bring him/her to you for a check up! Off topic, but i know you will hopefully get this.
[email protected]

 

[bellystrokes]

You are so correct, Boom, soooooooo correct--from one who still has tingling sides and ass.