How do you define love? :)

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

~*~how does one define that which is undefinable~*~

(I know undefinable is not a word...lol)

I've been thinking about love...feeling it...being in it...and being out of it after it's over but still hurts....I wonder what other people think about love and how they define whether what they are feeling is truly love or some need to be with another...here is what I think and feel...then please feel free to share or else I will feel silly for having posted this...lol...🙂

I use the term falling in love to distinguish the love I feel when I am "in love" as compared to that which I feel when I feel love for family and friends...I think love is like a spectrum...shades of love...what separates the many shades of love is something intimate that's sexually charged....an intimacy shared between two people that's shared by no one else...I crave that feeling...I say crave not to indicate an inability to live without but a desire to not do without....being alone is not always lonely...sometimes it's pleasant and sometimes it is nothing more than an acceptable discomfort but it's a choice...even those that think they are not alone by choice really are...a couple quotes I love are (and I will misquote these of course...lol)

"If you have to be alone, you might as well like the company" . Dr. Phil McGraw

(after discovering his fear of abandonment) "I'm alone because I'm afraid of being alone!!!" lol Frazier (I don't know his real name...lol)

Anyway...I use the word love atall because I know of no other word that is great enough or deep enough to express the feelings rushing through me when I have that attraction....

Sometimes the possibility is suggested that perhaps people stay together during times of indecision as motivated not by love but something else that is not motivated by love atall....but dependence.....I've thought about it alot and I know that dependence to me feels like a negative thing...I think of being dependent and it makes me feel constricted and not taking personal responsibility for my own life....that's a very bad feeling...an ugly thing... but I think of loving someone and I feel happy and alive...Since there is no universal definition of love that I personally know of...I feel what we are left with is having to decide for ourselves...I feel that the distinguishing factors in defining love is that of our conscious state of being....what is in our minds as well as our " hearts"....So I know that when I hate the negative parts of a relationship and ponder leaving and I decide that I cannot , it is love influencing that choice not something ugly.....
If there is any definitive meaning that love has attained it is that love is beautiful...what I feel for that other person when I am in love is beautiful...if I were in the love of my life we would give love freely to one another until we feel as though we have extended our limits...this could mean that we're growing into larger states of being ...that said... maybe the act of love is one of self evolution even when the purpose is to love someone else...this is how we would both grow over time...the more we love eachother the more we would learn to love ourselves...I have only experienced this growth with one person ...

why am I writing all this now and posting about it?....because it both hurts and feels good to think about it ...and since I can't stop thinking about it...I'll try and get others opinions...pain is a strange element of life...it never feels good and I do what I can to ward it off but when it finds me and feeling it is unavoidable I almost welcome it...pain is painful (doh!...lol) but it's a conflict of life that causes change...and change is scary but good...I like to grow and I like people who like to grow...it is only through true conflict that we can change so if we run from it we stay stuck and that is maybe the most unattractive thing anyone can do...in my opinion 🙂

 

[the_Baron]

"love is a battlefield".

 

[AphxA]

Its sharing ones thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions through the good times and bad. At least thats what my brain is telling me now.🙂

Love can be both painful and joyful.

and i have yet to discover such a feeling.

 

[justadinosaur]

Based on what it felt just once in my life, when it was for real, love is something overwhelming and fundamental, like breathing, walking, speech. You know you've got it when you feel it deep down, so deep and so down you don't and can't even think what it was like before, when you vaguely remember the feeling wasn't there at all... So vaguely you actually suspect it's always been there, only you had not yet realized!
Now it's gone, but looking again.... (= SIGH!

justadinosaur...

 

[njjen3953]

Pink is one of my favorite colors. I really want to read your posts, Ticklemeeeeeee, but every time I try, my eyes go screwy. 🙄

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

gigglebaron...yep, that it is🙂

Aphxa: in many ways ur lucky you haven't felt it...I want to destroy the person who said "better to have loved and lost...blah blah"...guess it's all in the perception...lol

njjenn...I'm really sorry about that 🙁 I tried but I can't not write in pink....

justadinosaur...what u write is so interesting to me...I have almost the opposite experience...whenever I'm not in love I feel the pain of having had that and now it's gone...I even hate that I felt it in the first place and resign myself to never letting anyone get that close again....and I can remember being in love and things I loved about "us" but the feeling is gone...perhaps I push it away but I can't make myself feel what it was like....yet whenever I am in love I always remember the feeling of not being...prob because I fear that again....I don't think about it really as long as things are good but as soon as anything occurs that makes the old brain kick in and the past comes back to taunt me like pssst...you could feel like this again...I get a bit nuts and freak for a bit then convince myself I don't even want it or need it....guess when it's all said and done I am more comfortable in pain than happiness....something I need to work on...lol thanks so much for sharing ur thoughts...

 

[Knox The Hatter]

LOVE...
Well...
here's a definition from experience...

* your ears perking up, the goose bumps rising on your skin, and attention span sharpening to hair trigger proportions just from hearing the other person's name...

*waking up in the morning, with that person's face in your mind, the name on your lips, making you happy and giddy and putting a spring in your step...

*your fingers trembling from being in the other person's presence, your mouth going dry, and not being able to find words to bridge ideas in a casual conversation...

* your finding yourself talking like and thinking like that other person, buying and wearing clothing in the same colors that the other person fancies...

*experiencing a tremendous calm, an inner peace from just being with that person...

*finding that you actually care more for the other person than you do for yourself, when you truly believe that you would actually die for same, and envisioning spending the rest of your life with that person as your companion, your partner, your life's love, the other part of YOU...

*carrying a picture of that person in your billfold twenty years after the last time you've had contact, and still not going more than a few days in your life strung together without thinking of that individual...and sitting at a keyboard in front of a monitor with tears rolling down your cheeks.

That's love.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Aforementioned individual's birthday is tomorrow...Forty three...

 

[milagros317]

If you really want a cold, clinical definition, here is mine:

Person A is in love with person B if A feels that B's happiness is essential to A's own happiness.

 

[njjen3953]

milagros,
I would not consider that a practical definition. No one can rely on another person for their happiness. It would put a hell of a lot of pressure on the person being relied on. People need to be able to create their own happiness and having someone to love only enhances that happiness.

 

[AffectionateDan]

I can't believe nobody's gone here yet...

"Love means never having to say you're sorry"




Well, that, and the unconditional sharing of your nice, shiny quarters. 😉 😀 😛

 

[kurchatovium]

Love is a moment that seems at once both an instant and an eternity.
Love is a force stronger than any other for it is the only force that outlasts the very grasp of time itself. Love is a divine moment where for an instant God's great plan for the cosmos comes into focus. Love is what lifts our spirits and makes us more than what we appear to be. Love is the force that drives our souls and make them shine with the brillance of a million suns and remember wuv = (love)to the third power. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

Knox the hatter wrote :
* your finding yourself talking like and thinking like that other person, buying and wearing clothing in the same colors that the other person fancies...

wow, I agree with everything u said but this part freaks me out....lol 🙂

Milagros...I don't think that is cold or ...well, too clinical...lol 🙂

Jenn...you're absolutely right but I also interpreted what Milagros said to mean that you just can't be "okay" if the person you love most in this world is unhappy....🙂

Affectionate Dan...grrr...I hate that saying...lol..I find the opposite to be true....love is being able to admit you were wrong or behaved insensitively and making up is alot better if "he" just says he is sorry...lol..(okay so maybe that is unfair but it has gotten me tickled more than a few times 🙂

Kurchatovium....that's so beautiful 🙂

 

[kurchatovium]

Kurchatovium....that's so beautiful

Thanks Ticklemmmeeeeee. Of course I am the director and CEO of the Kurchatovium Wuv Network. 😀 😀 😀 😀

 

[AffectionateDan]

Affectionate Dan...grrr...I hate that saying...lol..I find the opposite to be true....love is being able to admit you were wrong or behaved insensitively and making up is alot better if "he" just says he is sorry...lol..(okay so maybe that is unfair but it has gotten me tickled more than a few times 🙂COLOR]

You do KNOW where that comes from, don't you? It's only a quote from one of the best books of the century...

 

[giantfan121262]

Love is when you want to go that extra mile, take that extra step, or do more than needed because you want your partner proud of you.

Love is viewing your partner as the most beautiful and desirable person in the world.

Love is feeling your day is wasted without your partner.

Love is treasuring all the times you had together.

Love is imagining your life as a total loss with out your partner a part of it.

Love is putting your partners needs and wants paramount.

Love is enjoying a spontaneous moment together, such as just looking at each other and sharing in a kiss.

Love is viewing your partner as "the love of your life". What I mean is that your love for that person is stronger than any love you had for anybody else before.

Well...I can probably add more but this is what I think is the most important aspects.

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

true Kurch 🙂🙂

very nicely put Giantfan...(though a tad border line obsessive...lol)

Giantfan... wrote: Love is imagining your life as a total loss with out your partner a part of it.

This part I have to disagree with if you intend it literally but I am assuming in light of the eloquence with which you stated the remainder of your post that you're expressing a deep desire to be with rather than without that person...not that ones life is not worth living if not with any one person ...your thoughts are beautifully expressed 🙂

 

[dskodj]

Love is something that is 2 degrees of things. One love can be the care and compassion for say like a friend or family member..then the other love, im not sure it really exsists..but its hard to come by..

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

That it is dsk 🙁

 

[Ayla ny]

Love is - garlic kisses

thinking his snore is cute

melting when he smiles

but most of all... worth waiting for.

oh... that... and knowing when to get your paws off of her quarters, and let her win instead.

 

[Admiral Trouser]

I'd go with Milagros's definition, myself...it was a decent stab at a conceptual analysis, anyway. We'll probably never get to the truth of the meaning of love because its essentialy a personal experience, so one person's conception of that emotion may in fact be completely different to the person sitting next to him...which would go along way to explaining why we have so many vague definitions of the word in the first place, which are ultimately based on that one persons experience of it anyway.

Still, there must be at least *some* necassary conditions that define the emotion, or else we wouldn't recognise it as something that we all possess, and something that we all recognise on some level within ourselves.

Tricky one, isn't it?

For me...its that feeling of being wanted for who you are, no more, no less. Its another persons earnest appreciation of that thing that makes you unlike anybody else, and I sometimes beleive that it is this which can connect two people so solidly.

But thats just the rambling of a confused young man 😉

AT

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

I'd say that is a very well said rambling 🙂

 

[Admiral Trouser]

*takes a bow that he doesn't deserve*

Rambleman strikes again...anytime, anywhere, anything 😉

 

[natural tickler]

Love is sharing, caring, committment

Love is two souls, coming together as one

Love is flowers for no reason, saying "I love you" just because;

Love is just being an ear to listen and not a problem solver

Love is tenderly soothing an individual after a long stressful day

Love is keeping a smile on someone's face, while they are trying too hard to stay mad/upset

Love is sleeping on the floor after she kicks you out the bed

Love is telling her all the things she wants to hear....until...well, you know

Love is keeping the toilet seat down for her

Did I say enough, TM???😀

 

[Krokus]

It is my sincere opinion that there is nothing more important in this life than love. It's the greatest experience you will ever have, and once you have it, don't let it go.