How do you get up the courage?

[Nighttime Roses]

I should probably start this by prefacing my question.

Over the past few months, I've been slowly reintroduced to the fetish world by a long time friend of mine. Practically every Saturday we've been out at a club that features a very renowned mistress and watched as all varieties of people partake in their fantasies.

When it comes to the tickling world, I fully admit I'm still vanilla. I might have my own box of toys at home, but I've never been able to go as far as I'd love to. So for weeks I've been wanting to approach the mistress and ask her to bind me and tickle me.

Here's the kicker...obviously, as all noobs do, I feel overly embarrassed, especially because I've never seen anyone else ask for the same at this club. So keeping that in mind....

How the hell do you get the courage to approach someone and ask them to do this stuff to you without breaking down into a mess of nerves?

 

[kayaker273]

Awww, I remember that first time! The butterflies, the nervousness, the thrill! It's definately a little scary but it is so awesome feeling that way at the same time! I was tickled by a model at this tickling party called ticklenight and I was such a blast! I know your nervous but remember everyone is there to enjoy their kink. I would just take a deep breath and talk to her. Even if this is club isn't just for tickling, I think you will do fine. God, I would love it to be my first time again! I envy you! So have a little small talk and then ask her to tie you up and tickle you! I wish you the best of luck! Check out this site, this is the tickling venue I went to. www.ticklenight.com

 

[rhiannon]

Hm, I'd understand if she was just some vanilla person, a friend or something...but she's a mistress 🙂 I'm sure she heard waaaay more kinky stuff, so just ask her! 🙂

 

[naughtylucy]

Yes, agreed. I'm sure she's heard far more outlandish requests. And she's probably used to folk who are a bit uncertain about voicing their wants.

I promise, it's a million times easier after the first time you say it.

 

[Artoo]

You might feel nervous about voicing your desires, but if you bite the bullet and just do it, things become easier. 😀

 

[Deleted member 66627]

How the hell do you get the courage to approach someone and ask them to do this stuff to you without breaking down into a mess of nerves?

I only hang out with people who can read my mind.

In all honesty: A Mistress like that's job is to basically take requests. And I'd be willing to bet that if she's seasoned and legit, she's had more warped requests. Swallowing the nerves down is a lot harder then it seems, I understand, but it'll get easier. Just try it.

 

[Strider]

I don't suppose you live in the LA area by any chance? If so, I could direct you on who to approach.

Either way, if she's a pro-Domme, she's probably done tickling sessions before. So there's honestly nothing to be worried about. Everybody's nervous when they're introduced to the public scene. The best way to do it the first time is still the direct way, just walk up and ask if she'd be interested in playing and explain what you're into. I understand how difficult that can be, but that's really all you can do; taking a drink beforehand to steady your nerves can help sometimes.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

In all honesty: A Mistress like that's job is to basically take requests. And I'd be willing to bet that if she's seasoned and legit, she's had more warped requests. Swallowing the nerves down is a lot harder then it seems, I understand, but it'll get easier. Just try it.

Exactly!

A few drinks will not hurt either.

 

[-Hari-]

Personaly, because I have huge issues with stuff like this also, I would build myself up to it gradually, I wouldnt be able to go right on up and ask either,

I would probably have some more one on one sessions with friends,
then maybe to get used to a mistress, book a session with her,
and then maybe the mistress who works this club takes private bookings? Get her details and phone her, its alot easier to ask on the phone or email, and then have a session prvatly with her and then contact her again about wanting to session at the club and youl already be a familier face and in walking up to her, shel know what you want already thus remocing the need to even say much more than "hello 🙂"

 

[ViperGTS]

I remember my first time. I was at a NEST party and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a top or a bottom yet in terms of the lifestyle, and I was so excited to see what it was like to be tied up and tickled. So, I walked up to LeeAllure, and just asked.

Once you ask the first time, as others have stated here, it's sooo much easier afterwards. You just have to suck it up, take your defensive wall down, and ask - there isn't really any "working up" to it, just flat out do it.

 

[Nighttime Roses]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I'm sure somewhere in me I knew everyone must feel the same thing the first time, but hearing it makes me feel better.

Strider, unfortunately no. I'm in the wonderful Twin Cities (which just gave away what club I'm talking about to anyone that lives in the area...oh well! 🙂).

Taking everything a step further, if I manage to keep the courage you've giving me, is there anything else I need to be prepared for after asking? Or is admitting it's your first time enough for most domme's to understand and take it from there?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I agree with what most people said that the 1st time is the hardest, but I don't agree that it's all peaches and cream after that. I still get insanely nervous and shy talking about being tickled. Everyone's different though so you might feel totally liberated after the 1st time and life will be wonderful 🙂

 

[dcbahr]

Oh lord, I remember that first time, well the only time. One glass of straight bourbon later, and I was a lot more relaxed, along with talking to a few people there. I had voiced my desire to the man in our group who was the leader and then I was asked if I wanted to be a le, so I said ok, but I still was nervous even when they had me strapped to the table, perhaps I should have gotten another drink. I guess I would tell your friends first what you want to do and then see what happens, because it's sometimes easier to talk to people you know rather then just go up to the mistress right away, that's just me though.

hope that helps a bit.

 

[tickles]

Personaly, because I have huge issues with stuff like this also, I would build myself up to it gradually, I wouldnt be able to go right on up and ask either,

I would probably have some more one on one sessions with friends,
then maybe to get used to a mistress, book a session with her,
and then maybe the mistress who works this club takes private bookings? Get her details and phone her, its alot easier to ask on the phone or email, and then have a session prvatly with her and then contact her again about wanting to session at the club and youl already be a familier face and in walking up to her, shel know what you want already thus remocing the need to even say much more than "hello 🙂"

I agree with Hari....It is difficult to "come out" for all of us but doing it in a more public forum would be a lot of added scariness...and may make it harder for you to relax and enjoy it. I would look into a private session for the first experience...

 

[ViperGTS]

Well, you'll get one of three responses. The worst is that she'll say no. Big deal. It won't hurt because she'll be professional about it, but asking someone else the next time will be a MILLION times easier.

If she says, let's schedule something, you're off to a great start because she'll give you contact info and you might be able to set a date for a session!

Or, she might just say, Sure! and drag you off someone to tie your ass up and have fun with you. 😀

 

[DimpleToes]

I know its nerv racking. I am in the same boat as you. There are those I would love to session with when I was at Nest.. but there was no way I was gonna ask or do that esp beeing my first time there. It can be overwhelming but as viper said.. only 3 things can happen.. so no harm either way. If this is a professional person,, you dont have a personal realtionship with then dont sweat it dear.