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Humor?

qjakal

1st Level Indigo Feather
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Okay, I'm only throwing this up because it's snowing out here on the Island and I got hit in the back bumper today by 2 drivers....after reading this I'll bet you can deduce their gender...lol.

Drive In Banking Procedures

Please note that the Bank is installing new "drive-through" teller machines.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
To enable customers to use this new facility, the following
procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE) and remember it when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

A. Drive up to the cash machine.
B. Put down your car window.
C. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
D. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
E. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
F. Put window up
G. Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

A. Drive up to cash machine
B. Reverse car to back up the required amount to align car window to machine
C. Set parking brake; put the window down
D. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locatecard.
E. Turn the radio down
F. Attempt to insert card into machine
G. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car
H. Insert card
I. Reinsert card the right way up
J. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
K. Enter PIN.
L. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
M. Enter amount of cash required
N. Check make up in rear view mirror
O. Retrieve cash and receipt
P. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
Q. Place receipt in back of checkbook
R. Recheck make-up again
S. Drive forward 2 feet
T. Reverse back to cash machine
U. Retrieve card
V. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
W. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line behind you
X. Restart stalled engine and pull off
Y. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
Z. Release Parking Brake
 
uh hum....I was out and about in this mush earlier and Southern CT is getting hit too. I did not hit any bumpers but let me tell you there are people that really drive like a**holes in this weather. Like lets drive 2 inches from the car in front of you when you know there is ice and snow on the road...duh, and how about the SUV's that think they are invincible in any conditions...

From a very good female driver!!!

JPie
 
Slowwwww....

Is the first principle of driving in the snow, and sufficient spacing is a close second. the problem on LI is that you go entire winters with only a trace of snow, and the next year you get hit with 7 or 8 big storms. Apparently it confuses the population...lol. Q
 
What are you on about, Q-ster?

Snow? Cold? ANYone can drive in that! I mean, all you do is start the car and it sorta flies where you want it to go. 😀 That's what Santa's sleigh does, right?

I drove on black ice before. DUHHH....talk about idiot drivers. We people in the south don't know how to deal with this cold stuff. Only 8 people in the state ventured out. The rest were afraid. Thanks god for small miracles!

Best of luck to ya yankees in the blizzard...giggle
Joby
 
Carolinas...

Not sure if we have any members from there that post, but a radio report I heard earlier today said there were over 300 accidents reported in N Carolina at that point. That's NOT how to drive in snow...lol. Q
 
I watched from my window of my house today as the current parade of numnuts went flying down the hill outside my house, ahhh...I would say my hill was closed about 5 times with accidents! Will people ever learn.

I'm not afraid to drive in the snow, I am afraid of the other idiots that do!!!
 
Re: Slowwwww....

qjakal said:
Is the first principle of driving in the snow, and sufficient spacing is a close second. the problem on LI is that you go entire winters with only a trace of snow, and the next year you get hit with 7 or 8 big storms. Apparently it confuses the population...lol. Q

Also in rain. No snow here in SoCal, but whenever it pours, the drivers here speed up! How's that for a confused population? All that sun must be frying their brain cells. 😛

P.S. Great joke, Q. 😀
 
Re: Carolinas...

qjakal said:
Not sure if we have any members from there that post, but a radio report I heard earlier today said there were over 300 accidents reported in N Carolina at that point. That's NOT how to drive in snow...lol. Q

Q, are you alright? It is unreal how many can't drive in snow or ice? Not you, I mean other people. The loose nuts behind the wheel. I hope you didn't get hurt, or your car/truck.

Some of the people in Georgia can't drive in the snow! LOL Rain either for that matter, and hey watch out for those deer! 🙁 Katherine
 
I got hit from behind too, today - and it isn't even snowing where I live.

Must be an epidemic or something...
 
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