I just don't get it (literally)

[the_Baron]

We have all these folks desperately seeking tickle friends and/or mates.

But rarely do these like minded folk hook up.

outside of NEST and the like.

we've got folks going to escorts and massage parlors.

slews of pen pal and personals that go nowhere.

is this sort of like groucho's comment that he wouldn't want to belong to a club that includes himself?

speaking from a personal perspective...you'd be surprised how many friends i've made, who say "sure...lets have some tickle fun" - but it just happens they don't live anywhere near whee i am.

hey, maybe if this is a shared experience, we should switch potential tickle mates based on geography - this way the right people will get to the right part of the country.

 

[The Sean Man]

From Michigan, he speaks....

During the time I've been here in the TMF, I've met plenty of friends in Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, Canada, etc. But when I bring up the topic of getting together and meeting fellow tickle-philes, people kinda back off. I like to think that I've represented myself as a decent, non-psycho type, and people are just shy about actually following up on their internent talk.

The Sean Man

 

[nobody271]

Well first all you have the obvious guy/girl ratio activity in the forums, where the guys out weight the females by like 85%. And it's not because there are that many more males into it then females, it's just most females rather lurk because a fear of anyone finding out like their family and friends. And especially in our society where if girls are into doing anything other then the norms they are considered a slut or something where if a guy has fetishes and stuff it's okay and accepted in our society.

Then of course you do have the psychos and tickle maniacs who just will talk nothing but that when approaching females since they lust for it so much. I'm not saying all the males on the board are like this but there are those out there and you know who you are. It's perfectly understandable why females remain so anonymous on the board. I only hope that over time more females will be able to open up and at least correspond with other people through private messages and emails at the very least. But I have a feeling they rather just lurk and keep real life and tmf completely separate, and you just have to respect that....
-Chris

 

[steph]

You know what though guys?

I've got friends all over the place. For me, the point of having pen pals, phone chats, etc. is to get to know people FIRST so that when the opportunity to actually meet comes up (people travel for business, weddings come up, etc.) you feel comfortable with each other already.

Just my two cents darlings😛
XOXO

 

[Double T]

Re: You know what though guys?

I've got friends all over the place. For me, the point of having pen pals, phone chats, etc. is to get to know people FIRST so that when the opportunity to actually meet comes up (people travel for business, weddings come up, etc.) you feel comfortable with each other already.

Just my two cents darlings😛
XOXO

I'm comfortable! I'm comfortable!

And, no need to worry about me being a maniac. Little Spike Dudley could take me out. Hell, Michael Cole could take me out!

 

[tommytikl]

That is the great thing about gatherings!!!

They bring people out in a geographical area and in a friendly environment that the individual people involved don't HAVE to feel the need to play...just watch and learn and take it all in...
Whereas meeting one on one at a hotel is rather intimidating and scary thing for women...and men for that matter!
You could easily be meeting a psycho or your mate for life...that is why getting to know people around here is a good idea...

The geographical thing of course is the biggest hurdle but then once that is overcome you have the fear of actually having your deepest fantasies fulfulled 😱
That can be even scarier!

The other great thing about gatherings is that two people might be close to each other and not even know it until they chat at a gathering.

 

[steph]

Re: Re: You know what though guys?

LOL--I'm so not worried about you honey (and I love a good maniac, BTW...)😀

XOXO

I'm comfortable! I'm comfortable!

And, no need to worry about me being a maniac. Little Spike Dudley could take me out. Hell, Michael Cole could take me out!

 

[kcantankerous]

It's not hard to find a girl who wouldn't mind getting tickled or engage in a tickle fight. But if your into bondage or a marathon tickle thats where it gets difficult.

 

[mgctouch]

I have had the wonderful pleasure of meeting one lady who participates in TMF but we didn't connect through TMF. I have chatted with some others but that is as far as it has gone.

I believe that many people ave very cautious (as they should be) in real-life meetings with online friends. Everyday it is ingrained in our heads that there are lots of bad people on the internet who are preditors - people trying to lure you into meeting them for bad purposes. What is not reinforced in our minds is that most people are actually good people! We always hear about the bad and rarely hear about the good because good doesn't make news!

While it is true that some people are out to decieve you online, it is also true that these same people may be your co-workers, next door neighbors, postal delivery person... These people will act the same way online as well as in real-life - it is part of their personality.

The truth is, the majority of people are good people - in real-life and online. Using common sense and agreeing on safety/security issues BEFORE meeting cango a long way towards a safe, wonderful encounter and a strong friendship.

There are several things that you can do to make it work safely and comfortably.

1) Chat online for a while. Do not ever rush into a meeting. Get a feel for the person online. If you do not feel comfortable with the person form your online chats then it is probably not a good idea to go past this point - remain online chatters if you want but always trust your instincts. If, on the otherhand, you like what you see, moveonto step 2...

2) Talk on the telephone. You can learn a lot more about a person from their vocal inflections and their "real-time" responses than you can from the printed word. Use the telephone in the same way you would talk to any other friend. Learn about how your online friend reacts in verious situations. How does he/she react when you are happy? How does he/she react when you are sad/hurting? Does this person seem to make you feel comfortable when you chat? Do you feel like you are getting open and honest answers from this person? Again, if you are not comfortable with this person after the telephone conversations, trust your instincts. If you like where it is going, keep talking on the phone (and sending emails) - build the friendship!

If, after time, you feel that you might want to meet with this person for a real-life meeting, set-up mutual safety/security procedures. When I meet with a lady I met online, I automatically give her my cell-phone number. I also encourage her to call her best friend, sibling, somebody they trust, and keep them informed of anything they feel is important (ie make/model of my car, Where we are eating...). I encourage them to have their friends call at anytime to see how things are going. - Sure, it might interrupt a good story in the restaurant but at least she knows that she has friends or family who are there for her if she feels the need (which has never happened tome and probably never will).

I also suggest that the first meeting be held in a public place with activities which encourage talking. This roles movies and plays out. I personally enjoy playing a round or two of miniature golf because I can learn some very important things. If I am winnig, is she getting so upset that the game becomes more imporant that the possible friendship? If she is winning am I getting upset with her? Am I supporting her and praising her shots? Choose activities which allow you to have fun, learn about each other and talk.

If I am meeting the lady for the first time and we have discussed the possibility of tickling as well, I still leave her an "escape clause" If she doesn't feel comfortable with tickling yet, we don't tickle. I play it on her comfort level.

In my mind, the most important things in my focus are: comfort levels, trust, respect, and mutual desires. If is is not right for one person, it is a no-go.

I have met 4 ladies in real-life from online friendships - I have had tickling encounters with two of them (and built strong friendships as well) and I have an extremely close friendship with another one.

I know that most people online are just like you and me - they are good people. If you take your time to get to know them, if you set up safety/security procedures in advance, and if you trust your instincts then you can be on your way to some wonderful real-life friendships - even if they are long-distance friendships.

 

[Limeoutsider]

ticling is like oxygen, it only matters when your not getting any

 

[MrMacphisto]

Personally, I just don't like meeting people off the net anymore. I like talking to people on the net, but there's something novel about being able to speak with someone at length, yet still being able to keep them at a distance. Maybe that sounds stand-offish, but I really think the purpose of chatting is to engage in conversation without the same tensions that face-to-face conversations can bring about. I make a very important distinction between people I meet in person and people I meet on the net.

 

[sincerity]

Well, my "ad" finally paid off last night. And, luckily we spent months getting to know each other first, since our schedules and locations were always in conflict. This will most definitely not be a one time thing. Young, hot, strong, and a gentleman. It ROCKED! My poor ribs are still sore. Thanks for setting of the fireworks early, babe.

There are few things as sweet as the afterglow of a good tickle. I really missed it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are lowlifes who pour their energy into harassing people they don't know. One even spread a viscious rumor in response to my ad. But for every hundred of those, there's at least one normal who's lurking. I'm lucky enough to have met three on here.

*GR violations previously removed*

 

[mgctouch]

Well, my "ad" finally paid off last night. And, luckily we spent months getting to know each other first, since our schedules and locations were always in conflict. This will most definitely not be a one time thing. Young, hot, strong, and a gentleman. It ROCKED! My poor ribs are still sore. Thanks for setting of the fireworks early, babe.

There are few things as sweet as the afterglow of a good tickle. I really missed it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are lowlifes who pour their energy into harassing people they don't know. One even spread a viscious rumor in response to my ad. But for every hundred of those, there's at least one normal who's lurking. I'm lucky enough to have met three on here.



*GR violations previously removed*

Hey there, sincerity! If you ever have any plans to visit San Diego, CA., I'd love to throw my name in the hat for a budding friendship with ticklish benefits!

Please feel free to PM me if you are interested.

 

[TicklingIsLife]

It's not hard to find a girl who wouldn't mind getting tickled or engage in a tickle fight. But if your into bondage or a marathon tickle thats where it gets difficult.

You said it. 🙂

 

[stacyshippen]

"It's not you, it's me" -- why I don't meet people 1-to-1...

I don't meet people one-on-one for various reasons and I always tell people this. I know it can be taken the wrong way -- as rejection or as snobbishness or as arrogance. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I have thought through many times what meeting people means to me personally. I experience two dimensions to this: the dimension of fantasy and the dimension of reality:

Reality: I'm happily married. DH knows that I have a tickling fetish and that it's sexually appealing to me. To meet someone in person would (to me) imply that there is something missing in the sexual relationship between my husband and me. And there isn't -- I have a fetish, he does not. In the grand landscape, 'tis a small difference in a happy and rewarding life together. Expressing that fetish with another, single individual would cross a boundary to me. I'm not saying it's wrong to do so, it's just my own personal feelings about it. If I meet an individual in person, with the full knowledge of what interest we both have, and we hit it off as friends, there's the probability that a decision to "play", in some degree or another, may come up. DH would be devastated if I asked for his permission, and I wouldn't jeopardize the trust we have by doing something behind his back. I wouldn't want DH to meet someone under similar circumstances if the situation was reversed. What's fair for him is fair for me. With that said, it's hard to back off from nice opportunities to meet nice people, but that's my reality.

Fantasy: With all of this said, one of the great things about the Internet is that it is a "playground of the mind". You can engage in fantasy at whatever length you choose without, in most cases, hurting anyone. That's the great thing about reading stories, exchanging fun information in forums, etc. Some choose it as a springboard to finding real life friends, some choose not to morph it into a "real life" experience. Maybe not everyone sees it this way but the 'net provides a safe haven for expression that may be impossible to do in real life. I can go into the chat room and have a fantasy tickle torture session with another girl while a bunch of guys egg me on, exchange tickling ideas with a friend, share stories (real life and fiction), and get a "virtual tickling" via email (along with an occasional kick-ass chili recipe). So what if it's not real-life and "goes nowhere"? It's still a hell of a lot of fun, nobody feels guilty (usually) and there's no harm done in the end.

BTW, I went to one munch last year and had a great time (and am sorry to not have made more recently). It was a group activity, no pressure or innuendo. I don't look at this in the same light as meeting privately with an individual, especially one where you've had an "exchange" (except for chili recipes).

I know there are people out there who think those of us who express ourselves "virtually" are chicken, repressed, or otherwise psychologically hampered. I don't really care if anyone thinks that of me -- I enjoy the virtual world and for now I'm perfectly happy to stay here and share a little fantasy with others of like minds 🙂

Peace,
Stacy (who does promise to get to another munch someday)

 

[maniactickler]

Re: Re: Re: You know what though guys?

LOL--I'm so not worried about you honey (and I love a good maniac, BTW...)😀

XOXO

Did someone say they liked a good maniac???????? :O

 

[steph]

You bet I did Sugar, I did, after all, write the book...😀

XOXO

 

[the_Baron]

ah yes. another thread changed into a "Steph" oggling.

why do i bother?

 

[steph]

ummmm...because you love me?

XOXO