I need advice.

[cocopolo]

I need some advice, and right now I don’t know where else to turn.

As you would probably guess by me being here, I have a tickling fetish. Even beyond that, I have a tickling fixation, where I don’t get sexually aroused unless tickling is somehow involved in my brain. Now first let me preface this post by saying that I don’t wish to not be attracted to tickling. Really, I’m all for tickling. I think it’s a fun, interesting and exciting way to share a feeling of arousal with someone, and at the same time be safe and not hurt anyone.

But, damn it, I really wish that I was attracted to something else in addition to tickling.

The fact is I’m not attracted to the human body the way most people are. I’m somewhat attracted to femininity (mannerisms and the like), but I’m not attracted to breasts, or ass, or most everything else that mainstream America considers sexy. Swimsuit editions do nothing for me. You might say, “Maybe you’re attracted to the male body.” Nope, tried that. Just as with the female body, I can’t get aroused without some tickling being involved. Fact is I’m not attracted to people, I’m attracted to tickling. Sure I like to see certain body types (and faces) be tickled over others, but tickling has to be there for me to get aroused. And that’s just the truth of it.

In middle school, I used to be completely oblivious to sexual advances, and I think it was because I couldn’t reciprocate the attraction. I lacked the chemistry going on inside me to be able to recognize when another person was hitting on me. Now that I’m older, I am smart enough to recognize conventions of male/female attraction enough to get to a making out stage, but where do I go from there? I’m not attracted to anyone without tickling, so it’s passionless and dead. And even the steps leading up to that point aren’t fun for me because I’m just acting. Nothing else really excites me except tickling. And at a certain level, I think others recognize it to. Maybe they aren’t consciously aware of it, but they just know that there is something unusual and awkward about me when it comes to attraction.

So now I’m 22, still a virgin, and I don’t feel good about myself. I don’t know anyone that is into tickling, and I don’t know where or how to find people that are. But even if I sought out other tickling fetish enthusiasts, I don’t think that would solve my problems. I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or sexy enough, to have a fulfilling relationship with someone that extends beyond the realms of tickling. I haven’t told anyone about my fetish, not because I’m ashamed of the fetish, but because I know it’s not going to be accepted on its own. I have nothing else to fall back on. I can’t say “Oh well, I like this kinky tickling stuff, but if you’re not into that we can just do normal boy/girl stuff.” I don’t have normal boy/girl stuff in me, and no matter how much I try I just can’t draw it out of thin air.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t talk with my friends (and certainly not family) about it, and I feel stuck. I’m not miserable (good friends and career and such), but not being able to express myself in one of the most fundamental human ways (sexually) is making me feel like less of a person, like something is missing from my life. I thought of therapy, but somehow I’ve convinced myself that only crazy people see shrinks, and I’m not mentally unstable.

You all have similar interests, and some of you may even have a fixation like me. How do you deal with it?

 

[rhiannon]

This may sound harsh, but I think you should get therapy. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish in the sense of a certain kink that turns you on in addition to other stuff, but if you can't get aroused by anything else, then you are suffering from what is called a pathological fetish.

Still nothing wrong with that if you don't suffer from it, but apparently you do, and it seems like you do a great deal.

Apart from that, you seem to have low self-esteem, judging from this:

I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or sexy enough, to have a fulfilling relationship with someone that extends beyond the realms of tickling

Also I think even if you get together with someone who is into tickling, you will still have problems because it seems like your partner would only be a "tickle object" for you.

So, I say it again: You might want to get professional help.

 

[thetmfobserver]

A while back, I could get turned on by other things, but if I wanted to be "really" turned on, tickling was a requirement. Once I met the right person, however, that all changed. Now, while tickling will still get the fastest and strongest response, I can be turned on by many other things, mostly because of the person doing them (or in some cases, just sitting there). While therapy might not be the worst choice, you might just need to find the right person to stir your loins.

 

[Mirage]

I don't think that therapy is going to help, what he needs is comunication with a people who have the same fetish, and ,maybe, among those people he would be able to find some nice girl.

You sould check out this forum more closely. As to my knowladge they quite often do gatherings and play parties. You should attend one of these and who knows it might be a way to get rid of your problem

 

[AngelOfDarkness]

This may sound harsh, but I think you should get therapy. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish in the sense of a certain kink that turns you on in addition to other stuff, but if you can't get aroused by anything else, then you are suffering from what is called a pathological fetish.

Still nothing wrong with that if you don't suffer from it, but apparently you do, and it seems like you do a great deal.

Apart from that, you seem to have low self-esteem, judging from this:

I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or sexy enough, to have a fulfilling relationship with someone that extends beyond the realms of tickling

Also I think even if you get together with someone who is into tickling, you will still have problems because it seems like your partner would only be a "tickle object" for you.

So, I say it again: You might want to get professional help.

This.

 

[Angel77]

A while back, I could get turned on by other things, but if I wanted to be "really" turned on, tickling was a requirement. Once I met the right person, however, that all changed. Now, while tickling will still get the fastest and strongest response, I can be turned on by many other things, mostly because of the person doing them (or in some cases, just sitting there). While therapy might not be the worst choice, you might just need to find the right person to stir your loins.

That makes sense to me. It might not fix whatever the problem but maybe it'll help?

For years, tickling was something I immediately went to if I wanted to get off quickly. Pretty much every fantasy that I had involved some sort of tickling. Then the same thing happened to me.....I met someone who was able to both mentally and physically stimulate me in ways that hadn't been done before and it was a really cool feeling. I was able to open up to so many ideas and things while never leaving the tickle fetish behind (I can't anyways lol - it's kind of stuck with me forever). But yeah, it felt really good to just be with someone and have good ol' regular vanilla sex be so incredibly satisfying and craving that as well. It was also very liberating for me. It felt really good to know that I could connect in non-tickling ways in the bedroom and have it be just as awesome.

Sure, I crave tickling a lot. It's still a part of me and is number one when it comes to sexual fantasies and play. But for as much as I love tickling, it's not something that I have to have constantly. I dated a guy with a foot fetish once, for a long time actually. It was super fun to learn about his fetish and incorporate it into our bedroom antics but it got to a point where that's all it was. Every single sexual thing we did HAD to have feet involved and as you can imagine, you do start to wonder if "you're enough" or is this guy just craving feet and happens to be content with you because you have a pair? I wouldn't want to do that to someone who was vanilla. Yes, I'd want them to want to please me just like I'd want to please them but I wouldn't want our relationship to be based on just a fetish.

I hope you're able to find whatever it is that makes you feel happy and feel complete. I'm not sure exactly what you would need to feel better about yourself but don't be afraid to seek someone to talk to if you think that can help.

Good Luck.

 

[cocopolo]

I really appreciate the comments, everyone.

I have to admit, rhiannon, your post freaked me out a litte bit when I first read it. But then I read a few others and received some nice messages from people, and I don't feel quite so bad. I'm not saying that seeing someone professional is a bad idea (could help and I don't think there is shame in it), but I hope and (after some thought) now trust that my situation isn't as dire as you perceived it to be.

I wrote those feelings from a genuine frustration, but when I logically think about them I know that those fears don't have to be true if I don't want them to be. Just as an arachnophobe doesn't have to be afraid of spiders, I don't think I have to be "not good enough." I'm perfectly okay other than this thing, and even though this thing bothers me a lot I also know that many other people have problems much worse. What I wanted to do with this post was put those deep fears out there, really just to hear from someone that I wasn't batshit insane. Now that I have heard just that from some of you all, I do feel better.

You know, there is actually one person out there who makes me feel something without me necessarily having to think of tickling. (The problem is, this person is my best friend. :/ Still, that's a side issue.) The important thing here is that this is an example of someone who can make me feel lust without tickling. It's proof to me that someone can. I didn't mention it in my original post because I thought it was a seperate issue, and that one acception to the rule didn't detract from the problem. But if you all say that finding someone and getting intimate CAN in fact help, well, that gives me hope because I know that it is possible for me. Even if it's only with that one person right now, it is possible.

I might talk to a therapist, or I might not and continue to work harder on my love life till I find someone (maybe my best friend, who knows). Either way, it was nice hearing from some of you that I'm not weird and that life will go on. Really, that's what I wanted when I put this out there.

Really, you guys, it was nice to hear. I wish you all the best.

 

[Angel77]

I really appreciate the comments, everyone.

I have to admit, rhiannon, your post freaked me out a litte bit when I first read it. But then I read a few others and received some nice messages from people, and I don't feel quite so bad. I'm not saying that seeing someone professional is a bad idea (could help and I don't think there is shame in it), but I hope and (after some thought) now trust that my situation isn't as dire as you perceived it to be.

I wrote those feelings from a genuine frustration, but when I logically think about them I know that those fears don't have to be true if I don't want them to be. Just as an arachnophobe doesn't have to be afraid of spiders, I don't think I have to be "not good enough." I'm perfectly okay other than this thing, and even though this thing bothers me a lot I also know that many other people have problems much worse. What I wanted to do with this post was put those deep fears out there, really just to hear from someone that I wasn't batshit insane. Now that I have heard just that from some of you all, I do feel better.

You know, there is actually one person out there who makes me feel something without me necessarily having to think of tickling. (The problem is, this person is my best friend. :/ Still, that's a side issue.) The important thing here is that this is an example of someone who can make me feel lust without tickling. It's proof to me that someone can. I didn't mention it in my original post because I thought it was a seperate issue, and that one acception to the rule didn't detract from the problem. But if you all say that finding someone and getting intimate CAN in fact help, well, that gives me hope because I know that it is possible for me. Even if it's only with that one person right now, it is possible.

I might talk to a therapist, or I might not and continue to work harder on my love life till I find someone (maybe my best friend, who knows). Either way, it was nice hearing from some of you that I'm not weird and that life will go on. Really, that's what I wanted when I put this out there.

Really, you guys, it was nice to hear. I wish you all the best.

I wish you the best too. You seem like a nice guy that's just trying to work on who you are. Sometimes that journey sucks lol. But you'll get there. 🙂

Glad some of our stories can help.

 

[thetmfobserver]

You know, there is actually one person out there who makes me feel something without me necessarily having to think of tickling. (The problem is, this person is my best friend. :/ Still, that's a side issue.)

Take it from me, bud, that's not a bad thing. The person who was my best friend is sitting in the living room right now, and lust is not a problem where we are concerned.