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...........Idiots Among us....And they REPRODUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tulipangel

2nd Level Yellow Feather
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
3,445
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NEIGHBORHOOD IDIOT:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...From Kansas City!

IDIOT S IN SECURITY:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT S IN PUBLIC SERVICE:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

CORPORATE IDIOTS:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights-stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

MORE IDIOTS IN PUBLIC SERVICE:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

MECHANICAL IDIOTS:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

STAYALERT!
They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
 
True

Two days ago the neighbor kid tried to bust open a basketball with a sledge hammer and ended up with a concussion. If you saw his old man, and his older brother you'd realize things run in threes!
 
After,
LMAO IDIOTS! I swear! Unreal! LOL! Its sad in a way but tooooo funny!
 
I Mean

I mean here I am outside watching a gorgeous sunset when this little dipshit goes outside, puts a Basket Ball on the ground, gets a sledge hammer and whacks the Basketball.

All I could do was cringe, laugh, get his old man, go back into my house and laugh my balls off!
 
AfterTheRain said:
I mean here I am outside watching a gorgeous sunset when this little dipshit goes outside, puts a Basket Ball on the ground, gets a sledge hammer and whacks the Basketball.

All I could do was cringe, laugh, get his old man, go back into my house and laugh my balls off!
HAHAHA stupid kid! Thats just being dumb! No brain!
 
At least

some of the worst remove themselves from the gene pool. :sowrong:
Google up the Darwin Awards and you'll see what I mean. :disgust:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.
 
Darwins!

I love the Darwins. I think my favorite is the one where the guys tried to get rid of their truck with a dynamite stick, and their dog fetched the dynamite and brought it back to them!
 
Can You Imagine?

Can you imagine the OH SHIT look on the guys faces when their dog fetched the dynamite!
 
AfterTheRain said:
Can you imagine the OH SHIT look on the guys faces when their dog fetched the dynamite!
LMAO bet he regrets teachin that trick eh?
 
Speaking Of A Jackass

I know a guy who was firing a mortar for mortar practice and after all his training never seemed to understand you do not ever put the mortar on your KNEE.

He ended up doing it TWICE in a year and broke both his thigh bones.
 
Not nice

The guys got what they deserved... but the puppy?? oh man!
 
So My Neighbor

My neighbor, the guy who is the proud father of basketball head runs a part time roofing business and cannot understand why he rarely gets hired.

I GUESS it might be because on one of his jobs last summer he was on a roof, with roofing tar, heating it up with an open flame.
 
AfterTheRain said:
My neighbor, the guy who is the proud father of basketball head runs a part time roofing business and cannot understand why he rarely gets hired.

I GUESS it might be because on one of his jobs last summer he was on a roof, with roofing tar, heating it up with an open flame.
What a moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
And..

And a first class jackass. You should have seen him duke it out with the police because of some misunderstanding over aluminum soda cans! It was priceless!
 
I live in an area that brothers and sisters openly date,no joking around. There was one kid when I was growing up that was trying to see how much gas was in the can, so he lit a match.
 
tulipangel said:


MECHANICAL IDIOTS:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

With as much as I've seen at my job, I have to say I don't think I'll see this. Our guys are only crazy.
 
You want stupid people? Work at a library - no kidding, I get the biggest idiots there.

Them: "Where are the biographies on Lincoln?" *as they stand right in front of them*

Me: "Right there under Lincoln."

Them: "You mean they're not under the author's name?!" :shock:

...........................

Them: *standing in adult fiction* "Where can I find books on auto repair? What do you mean they're upstairs?"

...........................

I've had people who had all the information written down for them by the reference librarians - then inform me they have never used a library before. When I was a kid you couldn't leave elementry school without knowing how. A clerk was yelled at by a woman who owed $30 for lost books, claiming she hadn't had a library card in 15 years, then she started screaming "IDENITY THEFT!" - like the first thing people do when they steal you idenity is go out and get a library card. A man screamed at a librarian who asked him to turn off his cellphone with the usual "My taxes pay your salary" bullshit. A woman yelled at me because her daughter couldn't check out the popup books. I just shelve them, lady, if you want to check them out talk to the children's librarian. They stand right in front of the reference desk and ask me where reference is. And there was the fellow who complained because the story time was too loud. Well, go sit on the adult's side then, buster.
 
I got one.

I was in a liquor store and the person in front of me was carded. He shows him a card from the Braile Institute because he is legally blind. The cashier said, "That's not good enough, do you have a drivers license?".

Hellllo!!!
 
tulipangel said:
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...From Kansas City!

Ahem! Didn't know that was public knowledge.

Truthfully I've never been inFood Service...................(right)

I got one!!!!

This farm hick wanted to see how high he could blow his hat on the Fourth of July. He put his straw hat on top a firecracker, and it blew it to dust!

Another bunch driving around in a car throwing firecrackers out the window. Well one guy in the back seat tried it, and it hit the window. The back windows were still rolled up!
When you open the door of that car you can still hear the BANG!
 
giantfan121262 said:
I got one.

I was in a liquor store and the person in front of me was carded. He shows him a card from the Braile Institute because he is legally blind. The cashier said, "That's not good enough, do you have a drivers license?".

Hellllo!!!

:jester: :jester: :jester: :jester:

isabeau
 
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