1- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
2- Birth control would come in ale or lager.
3- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in every leap year.
4- On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
5- St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
6- Garbage would take itself out.
7- Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
8- The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
9- Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
10- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
2- Birth control would come in ale or lager.
3- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in every leap year.
4- On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
5- St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
6- Garbage would take itself out.
7- Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
8- The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
9- Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
10- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
