If the love is out of your relationship nuke it.

[kcantankerous]

I am a strong believer in a finite break, the friend stuff after a failed relationship seems to be difficult. Overall even with some of the friendships that my last from a split, especially when one breaks up and hurts the other, it would only create more problems to try and salvage a friendship. It would be easier on many levels to severe the ties and poor acid on the memories of that relationship. Making a fresh start can totally provide a benifit for both parties. I've done that in all but one of my past relationships, and eventually learned that I should smash the remaining one aswell. It's great when someone who takes you for granted finds out that you will not be there for her in the after relationship. The whole doormate thing wont ever happen to me. Oh and I didnt write this because someone caused it I just thought about it while reading some of the threads.

 

[amk714]

Now I'll think about relationships every time I microwave something! Thanks a lot, knogz. 😀

 

[Sultrybrunette]

I am a strong believer in a finite break, the friend stuff after a failed relationship seems to be difficult. Overall even with some of the friendships that my last from a split, especially when one breaks up and hurts the other, it would only create more problems to try and salvage a friendship. It would be easier on many levels to severe the ties and poor acid on the memories of that relationship. Making a fresh start can totally provide a benifit for both parties. I've done that in all but one of my past relationships, and eventually learned that I should smash the remaining one aswell. It's great when someone who takes you for granted finds out that you will not be there for her in the after relationship. The whole doormate thing wont ever happen to me. Oh and I didnt write this because someone caused it I just thought about it while reading some of the threads.

Hey stranger. Its been awhile. Hope all is well with you. For once I actually agree with you. Especially if there has been hurtful words and arguments. You really cant salvage a friendship because of the resentment that will always be there.

 

[sole seeker]

I agree that a complete break is best at first.

After a substantial amount of time (several years), however, a good friendship is very possible. You have something in common after all - shared memories of some good times not related to sex.

As they say, "time heals all wounds."

 

[Rich P]

You know, for the most part, I don't really post on here unless I sense I dying need for me to put in my two cents.

However, for once, I totally agree with what was posted on here. I just went through one of those "situations", and I figured that I was best to completely sever the ties between the person I cared about and myself.

One of the things I'm learning to do as I get older is to "compartmentalize" my life. Sometimes, it's best in a situation like this is to just put everything that relationship was about in a box, and tuck it away in the recesses of your mind. Perhaps, you'll open that box again, perhaps not. But, for the sake of ones sanity, you can't dwell upon it, or you'll end up like me with an ulcer and high blood pressure.

After the last time I spoke to my friend, I went through all the pictures that I had with and of her, and moved them into a file where I couldn't get to them without some effort. To me, it reduces the temptation factor.

I figure by now, I'm ready to move on. It's been about two months, and even though I'll never really get over the hurt of the things she said, I've learned to accept it. I'll probably never slay my demons, but I think I've been able to make friends with them.

 

[kis123]

I just don't understand sometimes where this stuff comes from.

It depends on the situation and the nature of the relationship. If you can't break up and be friends, then break free. I don't see why people who didn't make it as lovers cannot be friends.

Why does everything have to be so black and white, cut and dry? You are talking about people and the human condition. Whenever you talk about relationships with people theare are many shades of gray and each situation is unique.

I'm willing to evaluate each situation individually. I'm willing to see if that person is worth remaing in my life or should they move onto someone else. I don't understand why some get so cold just because things don't work. I'm not talking about toxic relationships or things that are unhealthy or hurtful. Those are things that should be obliterated out of your life. I'm talking about personal relationships. Maybe they just need a break for a season, not necessarily forever.

Ten years from now, some of you are still going to be in the same position you are in right now--alone. You can't think outside your own box! But you'll have your rules and principles to keep you company.

 

[maniactickler]

I could easily be friends with someone i broke up with. as long as it wasnt a bitter break up.