I'm a submissive ticklish woman with a complaint

[Helena]

I don't post here all the time, but when I do I usually feel better so here I go...

I wish that my tickler was alot more devious, and tickle tortured me harder and more meanly than he does. I also wish that we could switch places just once so that I could try tickling him. But he refuses.

I love bondage, but I never feel that I am tied and restrained enough for my liking. I absolutely crave the kind of tickling where I can just let go and let him tickle like crazy, but his tying techniques are irritating because he only half asses it(sorry about this word if it offends anyone. I couldn't think of a different term.) Yesterday I got loose and was disappointed.

I'm 5'4", and 109 pounds and he is 200 pounds so one of his things is to try and hold me down with his body weight. I hate that because then he is busy holding me down and I get alot less tickling. Just once I wish he would plot to take me by surprise and tie me down really well. I crave being forced to let go completely and laugh until it hurts. I have tied myself to our bed before he gets home from work in the past but I don't get the same pleasure out of it doing it myself as I would if he took charge.

He is not a ler, but if I ask him to tickle, he indulges me. Maybe the real problem is that his heart is just not in it. I feel like crying. Anyway, if you have read this post, thanks for listening.

Helena

 

[IwillTickleU]

Helena,

I'm sorry that your not having your tickling fantasies come true. I know just how you feel, my wife isnt ticklish "at all" 🙁 but as luck would have it i'm from Massachusetts just as u are and i'm both a tickler and very ticklish myself maybe if it is ok with you we can meet up sometime and we can make each others tickling dreams come true, let me know what you think 🙂

Steve

 

[Helena]

I hate it when I am unable to stroke his feet just gently because he absolutely doesn't like it and asks me to not do it. I don't do it because I am not into making him mad. I have tried to explain my love of submitting to tickling bondage, and I feel he would torture me more and give me what I need if he had a lesson from me in how to properly tie and tickle. It truly is an art. Even though I prefer to submit, I would gladly demonstrate how to properly secure arms and legs, but he is fine with his method. It's maddening that I can't get this person to do things my way.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Have you tried...

...attending any Gatherings? If not, maybe this is something you oughta discuss with him. Because I guarantee you, once you explain what you're looking for there, you won't come away disappointed... other than by the fact that it eventually has to STOP. Something to consider, if your relationship is strong enough to merit something like that. Some people's signifigant others aren't on the same page as we are, so going to an event would throw them off their feed. But it's a place to start, maybe. Plenty of folks out east there who hold events and post them here in the Gatherings Section, too. And maybe if he went with you, he could learn some things to take home and use!

Good Luck!

 

[dtrell]

helena, ill be visiting the boston area the last two weeks of october. im sure i could help you out with your problem if youd like. ask steph. if youre interested in chatting, PM me.

 

[steph]

LOL

Hi helena~ I'm with someone who doesn't get it either, I've practically begged, damn how pathetic am I? 🙄

Anyway, just decided life is too short to be miserable (at least in this aspect~I care about him otherwise) so there's an occasional playmate, hope you don't think less of me. One of them is dtrell who can most def help you with your bondage situation~he spent years playing in dungeons all over the country and is a master at all the best rope tricks. BTW, he and I played last spring, he was great, all limits totally respected (feel free to PM either of us if ya want)...Good luck.

XOXO

 

[dtrell]

TTD, i dont see anywhere in her post that she is married or that this person is her husband.

 

[TickledToDeath]

TTD, i dont see anywhere in her post that she is married or that this person is her husband.

You're right, I guess I just presumed he was. Maybe I will just go back and edit it to say significant other to play it safe.

😉

TTD

 

[featherfingers]

I don't post here all the time, but when I do I usually feel better so here I go...

I wish that my tickler was alot more devious, and tickle tortured me harder and more meanly than he does. I also wish that we could switch places just once so that I could try tickling him. But he refuses... He is not a ler, but if I ask him to tickle, he indulges me. Maybe the real problem is that his heart is just not in it. I feel like crying. Anyway, if you have read this post, thanks for listening.

Helena

I've met women who would rather do shots of anti-freeze than let me touch their feet. The next time I meet a lady and she asks, "So, what are you interested in?", I'm gonna say, "Music, reading and tickling." Life's too short to spend it being unhappy.
He's your significant other? Have a heart to heart talk with him... again. If you love him a lot I wouldn't give him an ultimatum, though. If the fire's gone and there's no hope for it to be reignited, seek counseling... both of you, that is.
Why do all these tickle loving women have uninterested boyfriends/husbands while I, who would tickle you from sun up to sundown if possible, remain single? I don't understand it.

 

[dtrell]

because feather, these women somehow feel that they love these people, even though they dont come close to meeting their needs. i personally know people like that. how can that possibly be love if these "significant others" dont do everything they require to be happy??? i dont get it.

 

[dtrell]

most of them outgrow those guys by their mid 30s feather. ask steph. im talking about women that stay married or with a man that doesnt fully satisfy their needs just because they think they somehow couldnt live without them or just because they have a history together. history schmistory.......

 

[steph]

Ah, spoken like a true bachelor D...😛

Give it time Frankie~you've only recently gone public, true?

Helena~You'd be surprised how many of us out here are or were in your position. If you otherwise care about this person, it's a tough situation...

XOXO

 

[TicklishSinner]

Dtrell you are acting as though you need tickling to be extremely happy in a realtionship, just because someone's significant other isnt into tickling doesnt mean they are not happy with that person, tickling isnt everything in a relationship there are a lot of other things that come into play...just my opinion bad mouth me all ya want

 

[BoyInTheCorner]

Helena, whatever you do, please don't feel as if you're alone. I, and probably countless others here have experienced what you've been through. Just a week ago, the relationship between myself and my girlfriend of 20 monthes deteriorated and resulted in us going our seperate ways. But, don't misunderstand me. Tickling was in no way a factor in the break-up, but it did effect our relationship. I don't let many people know of tickling obsession, and when I do, I feel closer to them. But in the span of our relationship, I tried every trick in the book to get her to tickle me, from lying on her lap with my arms stretched far over my head, to actually tying myself to her bed and making myself look like I was "asking for it". She never left me satisfied, and emotionally it took it's toll on me. Now that I'm single once again, I feel as if I have a second chance to find someone who can make me feel whole and complete, but I still miss her and wish I could share these experiences with her. I'm not telling you to leave your sig-other and pick up some random guy here, but you need to satisfy yourself. My advice is that you should stay with your sig-other for as long as there is love between you two, but find someone else who can satisfy your needs. Someone you can trust, like a close friend. In my opinion, it wouldn't be wrong to go to someone else because for some people, tickling isn't synonomous with sex. It would be like playing a game with a close friend. But I must say that in the end, it is your life and only you truly know what you need. All I can say is that you remain true to yourself, and I'll wish that the merry little squirrels of happiness find their way into your life! ^_^ You sound like a good person, and you deserve happiness.

 

[Barlow]

Oh Steph...

...I love reading your posts. So strong and so ticklish. 😉

Now back to Helena: I really sympathize with you. I have this nasty habit of jumping from one failed vanilla relationship to another. I used to think that it was due to my love of tickling/feet, but the last serious relationship was so romantic and intense; she allowed me to tie her up and tickle her(I guess you could call it a French Vanilla relationship 😀). It was my first time using bondage (consequently I now own a full set of Superstraps and boy do they work). But in the end, the relationship failed for other reasons.

I personally believe that every good relationship should have some give and take. Sexual incompatibility is a serious issue. I know that I could never be completely satisfied sexually by a woman who would not let me tickle her or who was not ticklish.

 

[Tickler Bart]

My Own Take On This . . .

I was in a relationship with s Dominatrix that liked to tickle my feet, although I was a 'ler' at the time.
She converted me into a 'switch'.
Unfortunately, there were 'other' things happening with her that was NOT good.
Although I still LOVE her dearly, the other things that were going on with her was too much for me to handle (at the time).
The tickling part wasn't the issue. If anything, that was the only GOOD thing about it.
The tickling and foot worship (of her feet) were not enough for me to stay with her.
I know, I know . . If I REAKLLY loved her I'd have stayed no matter what.
Well, life doesn't work that way, even though we wish it would.
Life is hard, but that is how we learn our life's lessons.

There's a song called 'Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough' by Patty Smyth (NOT Smith, but SMYTH)
Here are the lyrics . . .

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

There's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

 

[kis123]

I said I wasn't going to get into this, but.........

I never was one who listened to myself very well anyway!! First of all, let's deal with the initial post. I think Helena was just expressing frustration over her tickle situation. I didn't hear her saying she needed relationship advice at all. I just heard her vent. We do it on the forum all the time. Helena will do what's best for her and her life will go on.



Edited to reflect removal of GRV material in previous posts. No issue with kis.

Q

 

[steph]

Bless you kis~I was lucky enough to catch your entire post before the mods did 😉 Too bad we don't see eye to eye on this one, I'm very supportive of them in general, oh well...and barlow~you flatterer! I'm always amazed people watch me from the shadows!

My only concern from the beginning has been for helena. I hope she's ok.
XOXO

 

[Helena]

Thank you for reading my post and for all the thoughtful advice.

I respect all the people who replied to my ranting about not having my tickling needs met. I feel supported and I also feel better knowing that I am not the only one who has had difficulty in our relationships and getting our needs met.

The person I am with is my boyfriend, not my husband.

My goal when I started this thread was to let out all my true frustrations to people here who understand. Thank you to everyone for helping me through a really difficult day.

 

[ticklishscribe]

I haven't had my needs met eithe Helena.

But I'm hoping that may change. "Somewhere over the rainbow..."

 

[tactillianlover]

Hi Helena!

Maybe you could spend a few days writing a mock
diary- journal. Add a few weeks of entries INCLUDING
how you wish he would take a firm attitude to teach
you a lesson or some such! Press the facts of tighter
bondage and a slighty evil dominant attitude, etc.
Mention how thrilling you would find it. Maybe throw
in a dream you had where a stranger ties and tickles
you. Get him pondering!
Then leave it where he might find it in your absence!

Or...

watch for something you don't agree on. Nothing too
important but something that matters to him. Turn
it into a wager where the winner ties and tickles
the loser!

 

[Helena]

What an excellent idea!

I think that having a talk with him face to face about his lack of bondage skills would be a bad idea. I like the journal entry idea very much. I could put in all the things that I crave and need, and perhaps some illustrations and wonderful suggestions and leave it when I am finished where he could easily find it in my absence.

If he opens it and reads it, and then asks me about it, that could be a great way to open up a discussion about things. You are smart. Thank you for that suggestion.

 

[kis123]

Bless you kis~I was lucky enough to catch your entire post before the mods did 😉 Too bad we don't see eye to eye on this one, I'm very supportive of them in general, oh well...and barlow~you flatterer! I'm always amazed people watch me from the shadows!

My only concern from the beginning has been for helena. I hope she's ok.
XOXO

I know Helena will be just fine. I really didn't think I said anything that warranted the mods editing out my post. But did they have to take the smilies too?😀 I want my smilies back!!!😛

 

[dtrell]

Re: What an excellent idea!

I think that having a talk with him face to face about his lack of bondage skills would be a bad idea. I like the journal entry idea very much. I could put in all the things that I crave and need, and perhaps some illustrations and wonderful suggestions and leave it when I am finished where he could easily find it in my absence.

If he opens it and reads it, and then asks me about it, that could be a great way to open up a discussion about things. You are smart. Thank you for that suggestion.

helena, id be glad to meet with both of you and show you some bondage techniques. just let me know.

 

[magic fingers]

This is a switch. Usually men are more into tickling than women are. I share your frustration. It's close to impossible for me to find a woman who's into tickling, or a woman who will tickle me. How long have you two been dating? If you've been dating for awhile, and you're really into each other, then tell him about your love of tickling(although it should be obvious to him). If he's not willing to indulge you, then maybe he's not the right guy for you. Personally I don't think he realizes how lucky he is.