I'm cursed...that's all there is to it.

[SamuelKhan]

My life has been total shit. Dysfunctional parents and a lifetime of abuse and torment. Nothing has improved in anyway shape or form. It has to be a curse. Loneliness is a more brutal than any physical beating.

I was going to get counseling, but the local counselors try their best to categorize you and place you with the rest of the misfits like in the beginning of Animal House where the freshmen were sent to the rejects couch at the Omega's. I'm no doubt a "Delta" because of my non-conforming views. I need a friend or a voice of reason to help this old misfit to fit in.

I have to vent sometimes, because of my r/l crap surroundings. It does not have to be this way. It could very well be that my fetish is affecting me.

I have to go take a nap now...my xanax is about to kick in.

 

[Bothersome]

I trust that you've probably heard the 'it'll get better' line more times than you'd like, but if you've hit rock bottom, then you really only can go up.

I'm not going to fart roses and rainbows for you. Life sucks. It sucks for everyone, but not everyone has to go through the same degree of suck. Some people have shittier circumstances than others.

I was in a real shitty place up until not too long ago. Then I found a girl that I really like, and I've been focusing less on my life, and more on her. It's all about your mentality. Sure, I can piss and mope all I want about how I'm the unemployed moron who SHOULD be working on college, but I choose not to. Find something to focus on. I would normally say 'find something to cling to', but that really sounds more desperate than I'd like, and it sounds like it'd scare most girls off. xD

Again, life sucks. You can either endure it, or you can bail out. I choose to endure, because my life doesn't suck THAT much, and I know that compared to the thousands of people around me who have worse circumstances, killing myself would be astonishingly pathetic. It's all in the mentality.

But, that strictly applies to myself.

 

[jhop220]

I think that type counseling works with specific types of people . I have a degree in Psychology and find placement to be anti-individualistic which goes against the very foundation of psychology. Group Psychology can work at times, but it seems your case would warrant a more one on one situation.

First thing you must realize is to not blame any part of yourself. You cannot control things like your fetish or the people that surround you.

To place blame would be a fallacy in this case. You must find the light within your darkness. There is always light within one's life to grasp onto.

Another thing to know, which we all here have found out is that you are not alone in your struggles. I'm sure you understand that though.

What I would recommend for you is to take a step back and look at your surrounding. The best thing you can do if you don't like it is to change it. You have the freedom to do as wish. You cannot allow other people or other situations to dictate your emotions. As hard as that maybe, you are in control of your life.

Self-preservation is a key to success. You have been battling with this all your life from what you said, but your still here and your still fighting the good fight. Do not assume that the people here are not part of your real life. We are as real as the people you see, and I know we are a good support base.

Stay strong, stay positive, and try to find optimism every day. Good things happen every day that we all take for granted. In times like yours, you should embrace them. Another thing is that if your still in an abusive situation, then get out of it. Immediately go because any other situation would be better.

I wish you well my man, and any help you need...my pm box is always open.

 

[c7_assassin]

I don't know enough about your situation to tell you anything useful, except that you should never resent the qualities that make you different. Your fetish is a gift; better to be lonely than common, my friend.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

The evil rich did this to you, there can be no other explanation. I worried about not having new shoes, until I saw a man with no feet. Pediatric oncology. If you can do even a small favor for someone else, you will feel better. Try calling a few local churches and see if you can talk to a pastor. I do not mean "get religion" but at least have a sounding board. They may be able to suggest a counselor with a better fit for you. You do need to vent but you also have to count your blessings. Take a piece of paper and write down 5 things you hate about the current situation AND 5 things for which you give thanks. Then see which of the bad issues are within your control. The serenity/AA prayer will tell you where to focus your energies. This has helped me to focus on the proper issues in my life. I am sorry that you have had such a tough row to hoe for so many years.

 

[GQguy]

What I would recommend for you is to take a step back and look at your surrounding. The best thing you can do if you don't like it is to change it. You have the freedom to do as wish. You cannot allow other people or other situations to dictate your emotions. As hard as that maybe, you are in control of your life.

^^^Sage advice. QTFT

I recommend going out and helping others less fortunate than yourself. I think this is FAR better therapy than any overpaid therapist can give. Volunteer for big brothers big sisters. Something! Why? Several reasons: 1) It helps out the community. It's the right thing to do 2) It WILL help with your self esteem. You'll respect yourself more as you realize that YOU DO MATTER and that YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 3)You'll also realize that people have shittier circumstances than you do. And you'll also realize that individuals that are in those circumstances make the most of it.

You'll be hard pressed to complain about money after you build a home for habitat for humanity
You'll be hard pressed about being cursed after seeing a father tear up to see his daughter splash in the pool a couple of times at a Special Olympics swim meet seeing as she's been stuck in her chair her 19 years of life.

This might sound callous but share some of that self pity with the rest of the world. It needs it. Even if not for the sake of the world but for yourself. I guarantee you once you do your life will change for the better. If not, i'll buy you a round of drinks of your choice because then you would have earned my respect and likely the respect of your peers too.

GQ

 

[Jagermeistered]

It's great to be surrounded by great individuals in this thread. Is it not?

People who are going thru the same thing, pro non-conformists, and somebody to give you a little hint. The world is bigger outside of our own ego. So, it's time to move on, and up!

 

[Batou's Ghost]

Cut all ties. Move out. It's extreme but it works. The hardest part is making new friends.

 

[tickmankyle1]

hello samuel I understand you sometimes I feel the same way. I just try to put and smile on my face and keep going. It is never easy but i'm always free to talk loneliness dateless what ever being shy doesn't help. my mom always says our family if cursed cause if it could go wrong with us it does. hugss to you have a great day. kyle

My life has been total shit. Dysfunctional parents and a lifetime of abuse and torment. Nothing has improved in anyway shape or form. It has to be a curse. Loneliness is a more brutal than any physical beating.

I was going to get counseling, but the local counselors try their best to categorize you and place you with the rest of the misfits like in the beginning of Animal House where the freshmen were sent to the rejects couch at the Omega's. I'm no doubt a "Delta" because of my non-conforming views. I need a friend or a voice of reason to help this old misfit to fit in.

I have to vent sometimes, because of my r/l crap surroundings. It does not have to be this way. It could very well be that my fetish is affecting me.

I have to go take a nap now...my xanax is about to kick in.