• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

I'm getting older...

Lucidus

TMF Novice
Joined
Sep 3, 2010
Messages
68
Points
6
I'm not getting any younger. While 23 is definitely not "old," I'm at an age where it's hard to do certain things for the first time.

I.E. Dating. I often blame my lack of a love life on my fetish, but it really has to do with a bunch of different things. Most importantly, though, I think it has to do with the fact that I repeatedly threw away potential partners when I was younger because I'd often been told that "when you're ready, you'll know." That's terrible advice, in my opinion. Dating often involves making a fool of yourself, and always involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Nobody's ever really ready for that.

Anyway, now I'm out of college. There are no women where I work. I suck at the whole bar thing. The internet really feels like my only hope to meet somebody at this point, and the chances that I meet somebody who's okay with my tickling fetish? They seem slim, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying. I've been on OkCupid for 3 years now. I've written NUMEROUS messages, but like many men, have gotten only a handful of responses. I haven't been on any dates.

Anyway, TL;DR, I'm not giving up hope here, but I'm beginning to feel a very real sense of "now or never" about my love life. Maybe I'll write something in the TMF personals section, has anybody had any luck with that?
 
Last edited:
I feel the same way. Only difference is that I'm 27 for a couple of months now. God, I feel like I'm 80. You know, the older you are the more picky you get. I know I'm not much older than you, but take my advice and try to ignore this fetish if you can. Take it out of your love life and you'll be happier for it. Adds of you finding a girl that you'll like well enough, a girl that will share or tolerate your fetish are not so good. A girl like that is one in a million. If you live in small country like me, the chances are practically non-existent. Delete this fetish, repress it and get yourself to be excited by ti*s and as* only. Tickling, feet and the rest can...well...rest. There is still time for you young padawan. 😀
 
I'll advise the opposite here. Do not try to repress this fetish and hope you'll be OK with someone you can never share this with.

I've tried it. You won't.
 
Now or never? Really? That's a little extreme for someone your age I feel like. You have probably at least 3 more 23-year lifetimes to live. Chances are your best days haven't even been lived yet. It's not a race so you can't really compare it that way. 20s, to me, are kind of like adolescence part two. Your brain is still developing, you're figuring out who you are, and building confidence and growth through experience and making a shit ton of mistakes. Best way I learned was trying, fucking up, and then trying something else.
 
Nope, it's already too late, you're much too old now.
 
10 years ago....

Slow your roll...

At 23 years old, you still have a lot of life left within you. Take your time, enjoy your young life... I'm about ten years older than you and I cannot begin to tell you how invaluable the advice I'm about to give you will be. Take it or leave it. If it has worked for me, I'm sure it can work for you.

You just completed college, that's terrific. That's one thing down. Going to college sucks but if you've invested in your education to the point where you've picked a major that you are really interested in, it can make a difference. If you haven't already, find yourself the best job you can and try to stay there as long as you can. My recommendation is some place where those skills can be put to use and a job. Then stay there as long as you can and work your a** off and save, save, save.... you will need it. Get yourself into a career, not a job, just for the money. A career where you can grow. (Notice I haven't mentioned anything about love yet)

Now that you've got a stable income and place you can grow into, find yourself a home, a house preferably. If you're still living at home and you just got to get the hell out of there than go to an apartment. But if you can afford to own a home, buy one, 30 year/fix, and the lowest mortgage rate the company can stand to give you. Quicken Loans is pretty good. It's great to have your own and as long as you own property you can never be broke because if need be you can always sell it later on. Try to find some property that has a little equity and potential in it (notice I haven't mentioned anything about love yet)

Now here's the tricky part. Here's where you need to pay attention. You've got the job, you've got the house and you've got a pretty decent car. Now here is where you need to be careful. Come here for a second, I want to show you something... see, look out there (pulls back the curtain for you to see). There's a mob of women now that are going to come running after you. They see a car, a house and a man with a stable job, that's a rarity these days so they're going to want to find out a little more about you. Don't be so quick to call them materialistic or gold diggers, no, they just see a man that's making moves for himself and they want to know if you're the real deal. Sure, it's alright, go ahead and date a few of them. Get to know them but be careful because not everybody out there has your best interest. And as much as you may not want to, you will have to turn most of it away because there are some women that are gold diggers and all they want in life is to get married and have a baby. AVOID desperate, lonely women as much as possible. They will distract you from your future endeavors (Notice I haven't mentioned love yet).

So this ought to take you into about your late twenties or close to thirty. That's good. Now you're a home owner, you've had a stable job for a few years and you've lived by yourself for sometime. So you've raised the stakes. You've dated a bit, you've had some fun... and because of some of your experiences you can safely and effectively (God willing) pick out the right woman worth your time and energy. So here's how you do that. I had a bad habit of going after the perfect 10/10 in the face kind of women. All wrong. Why? They are usually the most screwed up because all of their lives people have catered to them and placed them on a pedestal. She knows she always has options. Find a woman who is good 7.5 or an 8 in the face but has a 10 in personality and she will love you and appreciate you and be there for you when you get sick and fall ill. It can happen. And when you're laying in the hospital and can't move, you want your woman to be there for you and be able to take care of the bills at home so you'll have a place to come home to when you get out. I'm not saying that there isn't a 10/10 face roaming around here somewhere that can hold things down, but it's a rarity. Don't settle for less, but don't have such high standards on the looks. A woman who is good 7.5/8 is still a very attractive woman and that is damn good. Once you've found her, treat her good and treat her the same way you as you did when you first met her and you will have less stress in your life. Open doors, pull out chairs, don't stop doing those things. If she's a good woman she will appreciate how much you've stayed the same over the years and will fuss at you a lot less (God willing).

*******

As far as the fetish is concerned and whether or not it's a deal breaker, its not. I've been into feet for years and every woman I've dated or was ever interested in knows that about me. As long as you aren't creepy about it, it's not a problem. First of all, women don't spend so much of their time and money to get dressed up for nothing. They want to be noticed, complimented and validated at some point. They want to feel special and feel appreciated, so taking the time to politely comment on certain things, they appreciate. If you've been out on a few dates with a woman and you happen to notice she wears sandals a lot and her feet are very pretty, there's nothing wrong with slipping a compliment or offering her massage one day. Just be smooth about it, don't be a creep.

My dating days are over and I'm soon to be married. But when I was on the scene I rubbed, massaged, kissed, caressed and tickled all kinds of feet. I had fun, I had a good damn time. The ladies knew I was into feet and they let me indulge into my fetish because I wasn't a creep about it. We're human beings, we're not robots. Everybody has something that they like and it just so happens that I was into feet. I'm not ashamed of that, but at the same time I don't make it a roundtable discussion. I made conversations like that exclusively for one and one. It's not bar talk by any means, in my opinion.

Now I must go... I usually lurk the forums but I don't post very much. But I hope some of this advice will be helpful to you.
 
Slow your roll...

At 23 years old, you still have a lot of life left within you. Take your time, enjoy your young life... I'm about ten years older than you and I cannot begin to tell you how invaluable the advice I'm about to give you will be. Take it or leave it. If it has worked for me, I'm sure it can work for you.

You just completed college, that's terrific. That's one thing down. Going to college sucks but if you've invested in your education to the point where you've picked a major that you are really interested in, it can make a difference. If you haven't already, find yourself the best job you can and try to stay there as long as you can. My recommendation is some place where those skills can be put to use and a job. Then stay there as long as you can and work your a** off and save, save, save.... you will need it. Get yourself into a career, not a job, just for the money. A career where you can grow. (Notice I haven't mentioned anything about love yet)

Now that you've got a stable income and place you can grow into, find yourself a home, a house preferably. If you're still living at home and you just got to get the hell out of there than go to an apartment. But if you can afford to own a home, buy one, 30 year/fix, and the lowest mortgage rate the company can stand to give you. Quicken Loans is pretty good. It's great to have your own and as long as you own property you can never be broke because if need be you can always sell it later on. Try to find some property that has a little equity and potential in it (notice I haven't mentioned anything about love yet)

Now here's the tricky part. Here's where you need to pay attention. You've got the job, you've got the house and you've got a pretty decent car. Now here is where you need to be careful. Come here for a second, I want to show you something... see, look out there (pulls back the curtain for you to see). There's a mob of women now that are going to come running after you. They see a car, a house and a man with a stable job, that's a rarity these days so they're going to want to find out a little more about you. Don't be so quick to call them materialistic or gold diggers, no, they just see a man that's making moves for himself and they want to know if you're the real deal. Sure, it's alright, go ahead and date a few of them. Get to know them but be careful because not everybody out there has your best interest. And as much as you may not want to, you will have to turn most of it away because there are some women that are gold diggers and all they want in life is to get married and have a baby. AVOID desperate, lonely women as much as possible. They will distract you from your future endeavors (Notice I haven't mentioned love yet).

So this ought to take you into about your late twenties or close to thirty. That's good. Now you're a home owner, you've had a stable job for a few years and you've lived by yourself for sometime. So you've raised the stakes. You've dated a bit, you've had some fun... and because of some of your experiences you can safely and effectively (God willing) pick out the right woman worth your time and energy. So here's how you do that. I had a bad habit of going after the perfect 10/10 in the face kind of women. All wrong. Why? They are usually the most screwed up because all of their lives people have catered to them and placed them on a pedestal. She knows she always has options. Find a woman who is good 7.5 or an 8 in the face but has a 10 in personality and she will love you and appreciate you and be there for you when you get sick and fall ill. It can happen. And when you're laying in the hospital and can't move, you want your woman to be there for you and be able to take care of the bills at home so you'll have a place to come home to when you get out. I'm not saying that there isn't a 10/10 face roaming around here somewhere that can hold things down, but it's a rarity. Don't settle for less, but don't have such high standards on the looks. A woman who is good 7.5/8 is still a very attractive woman and that is damn good. Once you've found her, treat her good and treat her the same way you as you did when you first met her and you will have less stress in your life. Open doors, pull out chairs, don't stop doing those things. If she's a good woman she will appreciate how much you've stayed the same over the years and will fuss at you a lot less (God willing).

*******

As far as the fetish is concerned and whether or not it's a deal breaker, its not. I've been into feet for years and every woman I've dated or was ever interested in knows that about me. As long as you aren't creepy about it, it's not a problem. First of all, women don't spend so much of their time and money to get dressed up for nothing. They want to be noticed, complimented and validated at some point. They want to feel special and feel appreciated, so taking the time to politely comment on certain things, they appreciate. If you've been out on a few dates with a woman and you happen to notice she wears sandals a lot and her feet are very pretty, there's nothing wrong with slipping a compliment or offering her massage one day. Just be smooth about it, don't be a creep.

My dating days are over and I'm soon to be married. But when I was on the scene I rubbed, massaged, kissed, caressed and tickled all kinds of feet. I had fun, I had a good damn time. The ladies knew I was into feet and they let me indulge into my fetish because I wasn't a creep about it. We're human beings, we're not robots. Everybody has something that they like and it just so happens that I was into feet. I'm not ashamed of that, but at the same time I don't make it a roundtable discussion. I made conversations like that exclusively for one and one. It's not bar talk by any means, in my opinion.

Now I must go... I usually lurk the forums but I don't post very much. But I hope some of this advice will be helpful to you.

What's wrong with wanting to get married and have a baby? I wanted to get married and have a baby, that doesnt make me a goldigger.
 
What's wrong with wanting to get married and have a baby? I wanted to get married and have a baby, that doesnt make me a goldigger.

Go back and reread my post...I didn't say that...

I told him to be careful because there are some women out there that are desperate and lonely and he needs to avoid them because that's ALL they want. They don't care who they're married to, they just want to get married and want a baby. Having a family is a great thing and I hope to have one of my own some day.
 
"Some women are golddiggers and all they want in life is to get married and have a baby"

Yup, all I wanted to do was be a good wife and mother to my children. That doesn't make me a golddigger.
 
At 31, I doubt I'm going to have anything in common with anybody.

I'm a musician and I play in bands with mostly guys. My favorite musics are death metal and grindcore, or breakbeat hardcore (and I mainly play bari sax! Bass guitar too tho). I love Scifi and trying to take on DIY projects. Oh ya, there's a whole basket of selling points.

I'm not really concerned with dating anymore. I either net girls that are good for one great date that turn out to be mental, girls I have nothing in common with, or better yet, ones looking to rope a husband after around 6 months of dating.

Ya, I have my future spelled out for me.
 
"Some women are golddiggers and all they want in life is to get married and have a baby"

Yup, all I wanted to do was be a good wife and mother to my children. That doesn't make me a golddigger.

See, this is why we can't ever have these kind of nice discussions because people take things out of context.

You quoted me correct actually because I was sure to include *some* in that sentence because I knew someone like you would eventually read that entire wall of text and find something to fuss about. Let's not be too hyperbolic here, we do know that in the world we live in there are people who marry or court relationships for the wrong reasons. You have friends you know who have married for those reasons or you at least know of people who have done so. But this post isn't about that, it's about helping this young man figure out where he wants to be in life and what to be careful of; pitfalls that some who have come before him have made and how he can avoid them when it comes to finding someone responsible to date.

I never said that Triangle was a golddigger or that any woman in particular was, however, there are some women out here that are golddiggers just as there are men in the world that aren't worth a damn. Whether you are or are not is your business.
 
You've defined golddigger as "all they want to do in life is get married and have a baby". So per your definition, I am a golddigger. If that's not your intention, change your definition.

OUT of the women that want to get married and have a baby, SOME may want to do it for the wrong reasons.

Yes, your post is about showing people what to be careful of. And youve qualified that all women who want to get married and have a baby are something to be careful of.
 
Last edited:
I would disagree with previous posters that you need to get a house before you start dating or at all, but that's another matter. Working on you and your job and finances is definitely most important, but you can also look for romantic relationships at the same time. It doesn't have to be serious. Not like you need to get married.

The whole point of dating when you're young is to learn. You learn your needs and wants, how to compromise, how to work with someone, what a healthy relationship consists of and that takes not only a ton of first and second dates that go nowhere but also a few long term relationships and most likely a few heartbreaks.

It's true that like I said, it's not a race, but waiting until you're in your 30s to date at all (if you don't have to) may work against you if the people you are looking to date at 31 generally have more experience under their belt. Emotionally and mentally, it may be an issue. Then again, it may not be. I've found experience builds maturity and you may feel emotions while dating that are hard to handle the first few times, but become easier as you get practice.

Also, the whole 10/10 women being used to getting catered to is a bit narrow minded. Definitely go for someone you're attracted to physically and mentally. There are genuinely interesting, smart, kind AND good looking people out there.

And take all of our advice with a grain of salt and do what feels right for you and what makes you happy. There are a lot of self-proclaimed experts on just about everything here, but only you know what's best for you.

Best of luck. Try not to over think it. 🙂
 
What's wrong with wanting to get married and have a baby? I wanted to get married and have a baby, that doesnt make me a goldigger.

What's wrong with it? It's frankly scary. Before I became an uncle I thought of having kids as scary. It signifies your goals are behind you. It's not as bad as I thought, which I guess I thought I had Satan spawn speed and so did other guys. It's cute somewhat, tho for me that tapered off. I guess as a parent people are just ready for anything but I never wanted sex to be anymore serious than tickling. Maybe it's stupid, but at least it's the truth.
 
It's scary that there are people who think of marriage and raising children to be good stewards of society as a life goal?

If you want to have sex without kids, thats totally cool, you do you, everybody wants different things. But I dont understand how the existence of people wanting to have sex and make a baby is a scary thing.
 
I would disagree with previous posters that you need to get a house before you start dating or at all, but that's another matter. Working on you and your job and finances is definitely most important, but you can also look for romantic relationships at the same time. It doesn't have to be serious. Not like you need to get married.

The whole point of dating when you're young is to learn. You learn your needs and wants, how to compromise, how to work with someone, what a healthy relationship consists of and that takes not only a ton of first and second dates that go nowhere but also a few long term relationships and most likely a few heartbreaks.

It's true that like I said, it's not a race, but waiting until you're in your 30s to date at all (if you don't have to) may work against you if the people you are looking to date at 31 generally have more experience under their belt. Emotionally and mentally, it may be an issue. Then again, it may not be. I've found experience builds maturity and you may feel emotions while dating that are hard to handle the first few times, but become easier as you get practice.

Also, the whole 10/10 women being used to getting catered to is a bit narrow minded. Definitely go for someone you're attracted to physically and mentally. There are genuinely interesting, smart, kind AND good looking people out there.

And take all of our advice with a grain of salt and do what feels right for you and what makes you happy. There are a lot of self-proclaimed experts on just about everything here, but only you know what's best for you.

Best of luck. Try not to over think it. 🙂

I found when I was young (in my early to mid 20s), I was being dumped for poor reasons (xyz happened, oh no, etc). There was a lot of friction generated by liking tickling. So a lot of trial and error had to be taken to not mess up (either when initially trying to date or sustain a relationship. I wouldn't see this as a healthy beginning). My teens were mostly consistent, I wasn't an option to date for anybody to consider.

My 30s now include dealing with girls in their 20s still with princess fantasies, and women in their 30s who profess they're "sick of men and their shit and looking for serious candidates only". So I guess in 5 Years I'll update this thread to see where I stand.
 
It's scary that there are people who think of marriage and raising children to be good stewards of society as a life goal?

If you want to have sex without kids, thats totally cool, you do you, everybody wants different things. But I dont understand how the existence of people wanting to have sex and make a baby is a scary thing.

Why would I want to procreate? I think I'm pretty clear that I wouldn't want to try to raise a child with my mindsets or traits. Nor would I want to have children in a time when the economy is complete shit. I have no real estate, nor the funds.

Whatever happened to the doctors and Lawyers and artists of the world? Whatever happened to optimization? Where's that? Oh wait, no, we should have kids, it's not like there's overpopulation anywhere. I just find the progressions that people profess are necessary just seem a tad hasty from this perspective.
 
Why would I want to procreate? I think I'm pretty clear that I wouldn't want to try to raise a child with my mindsets or traits. Nor would I want to have children in a time when the economy is complete shit. I have no real estate, nor the funds.

Whatever happened to the doctors and Lawyers and artists of the world? Whatever happened to optimization? Where's that? Oh wait, no, we should have kids, it's not like there's overpopulation anywhere. I just find the progressions that people profess are necessary just seem a tad hasty from this perspective.

That still doesnt explain how the existence of people who want to marry and have kids frightens you, though. Choosing to do something else is one thing, saying "the fact that there are people who want to do this thing I dont want to do scares me" is quite another.

No one says it's necessary for people to marry and have babies. Youre saying it's scary that I want to be married and have a baby.
 
That still doesnt explain how the existence of people who want to marry and have kids frightens you, though. Choosing to do something else is one thing, saying "the fact that there are people who want to do this thing I dont want to do scares me" is quite another.

No one says it's necessary for people to marry and have babies. Youre saying it's scary that I want to be married and have a baby.

I never really had the "fuck around" period. People talk about this "golden age" they had in relationships. I haven't had that. So the idea of going from zero to married just bothers me.

But its not singularly about you. It's about all that share that mindset in general.
 
I'll give the same advice I always give - Do not just look on tickling sites for the love of your life who loves tickling too. Meet someone in your everyday life, talk to people, be friendly and not desperate. It will come eventually, you will meet someone nice and when you start falling for each other then pick your time to incorporate your tickling fetish into the relationship. Have fun with it. Normal "vanilla" women are usually pretty open minded if they like you, be confident and explain what you like but you must of course have trust and love involved for best results.

Sorry I'm wording this wrong, I'm in a rush but I think you catch my drift. Good luck!
 
I never really had the "fuck around" period. People talk about this "golden age" they had in relationships. I haven't had that. So the idea of going from zero to married just bothers me.

But its not singularly about you. It's about all that share that mindset in general.

I understand that marriage and babies isnt something you want to do. And that's fine, that's not something I find "scary". I could understand why the *idea* of marriage and babies would be scary for you, in a "this is not something that works for me personally" way. But youre still not really explaining why the sheer existence of people who think like I do and don't think like you do are "scary".
 
I understand that marriage and babies isnt something you want to do. And that's fine, that's not something I find "scary". I could understand why the *idea* of marriage and babies would be scary for you, in a "this is not something that works for me personally" way. But youre still not really explaining why the sheer existence of people who think like I do and don't think like you do are "scary".

Because it's something that screws with me! That's right! I'm selfish! I like having "just" myself to support!
 
How does the existence of people wanting to marry and have babies screw with you? Does the existence of anyone who has a different idea than you "screw with you"?

You can totally support just yourself, nobody is telling you to marry and have kids. How does the existence of people who want to marry and have kids equate to "YOU must marry and have kids?" The only person who is affected by my desire to marry and have babies is my husband. My existence doesnt "screw with you".
 
Last edited:
What's New
7/18/25
See some Spam on the forum? We appreciate when you report it via the buttin on the posts lower left.
Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1704 ***
The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top