I'm only ticklish when I'm not trying to be! Help!

[becomingticklish]

So I need some help here. I'm a lee. I've not been able to have a real tickle torture experience because of this mental block that I seem to have.

I'm very ticklish but only when I don't want to be/intend on it. For example, if I'm platonically tickled, like if a friend casually tickles me, when my boyfriend tickles me while I'm busy playing a video game, or if I'm getting a professional massage.

As soon as I'm in the bedroom, tied down, eager to be tickled, I lose all ticklishness. It's frustrating. The one time I expect it/want it is the one time I can't have it.

I have a feeling it isn't necessarily tied to libido because when I'm dominating my boyfriend he sucks and licks my toes I'm very aroused but I'm still finding that I'm holding back laughter and squirming because of how ticklish it is. Sucking and licking toes doesn't work when I'm tied down trying to be tickled by the way, it only tickles when I'm trying to be dominant and not ticklish.

I've tried blindfolds, tools, light bondage, heavy bondage, baby oil, skincare. It doesn't seem to be related to an innate insensitivity in my body but more of a mental block.

Could it be related to the fact that tickling is supposed to be an offensive sensation and unexpected like an invasion (why we can't tickle ourselves) and me being eager and welcoming the sensation turns the ticklish response off in my case?

Anyone else similar? Anyone know of any mind tricks I can play to get rid of this mental block?

 

[WickedTouch]

So I need some help here. I'm a lee. I've not been able to have a real tickle torture experience because of this mental block that I seem to have.

I'm very ticklish but only when I don't want to be/intend on it. For example, if I'm platonically tickled, like if a friend casually tickles me, when my boyfriend tickles me while I'm busy playing a video game, or if I'm getting a professional massage.

As soon as I'm in the bedroom, tied down, eager to be tickled, I lose all ticklishness. It's frustrating. The one time I expect it/want it is the one time I can't have it.

I have a feeling it isn't necessarily tied to libido because when I'm dominating my boyfriend he sucks and licks my toes I'm very aroused but I'm still finding that I'm holding back laughter and squirming because of how ticklish it is. Sucking and licking toes doesn't work when I'm tied down trying to be tickled by the way, it only tickles when I'm trying to be dominant and not ticklish.

I've tried blindfolds, tools, light bondage, heavy bondage, baby oil, skincare. It doesn't seem to be related to an innate insensitivity in my body but more of a mental block.

Could it be related to the fact that tickling is supposed to be an offensive sensation and unexpected like an invasion (why we can't tickle ourselves) and me being eager and welcoming the sensation turns the ticklish response off in my case?

Anyone else similar? Anyone know of any mind tricks I can play to get rid of this mental block?

Hi!

I’m not going to pretend to know the exact answer for your case, as everyone is different, and some of us very different. However, I think you’re right in that it is mostly a mental factor. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong; It’s just how your brain works. Most of ticklishness is in the brain and how the signals are processed from the nerves. Sometimes being bound actually relaxes the body and the mind just surrenders. Tickling is a “hey! Don’t do that!” response by the non-conscious parts of the body and mind. Where your conscious mind is at can somewhat inform that at times, but a lot of it is not usually something you are doing or not doing. I also suspect that arousal plays into that and further sets your body up to be receptive to touch in a different way. I know for me, if I get aroused enough, my ticklishness goes way down. For others, it goes way up. Brains are weird!

What can you do? Anything here is a guess, but continue to experiment. Some things I’d try are:

• You mentioned blindfolds, which is a common suggestion for addressing this issue. It does lead me to believe that arousal plays no small part in your problem. But to further see if more surprise helps, try blocking your hearing with noise cancelling headphones or high quality earplugs in addition to the blindfold. This helps some people more. Even if it’s not your thing, it may be a good experiment.
• Try things like playing music during the session. It may shift your focus or trick your brain into thinking it is doing something else. Even go so far as to try different types of music. Sometimes it surprises me how much of a mental shift different types of music can induce in me.
• I am not at all trying to critique the quality of tickling that you’re receiving from your boyfriend. Clearly I don’t know him at all. But I do want to suggest that the technique may need to vary for your sessions. If your mind is used to relaxing around him and feeling aroused or a sense of surrender, having him try to tickle you in different patterns may help. For example, tickling harder or softer than normal, switching between the soft and hard types of tickling, varying the speed, rapidly switching between spots (especially on the upper body, using more verbal and visual teasing, and building up anticipation.
• Have your boyfriend try to tickle you out of bondage. See if the bondage is triggering that surrender, or if it is more the formality of it being time to be tickled. Also, have him try it in different contexts. (surprise tickles, planned tickles, in different rooms, in a hotel, etc.) You may see more of a pattern that way.
• This may not be your thing either, but post-orgasm tickling often works on people who aren’t normally ticklish at all. It completely shifts the brains mode, so to speak. If arousal is a major contributing factor, this will circumvent that, if only as an experiment. When the body orgasms, it releases a cocktail of hormones into the blood and brain. Prolactin greatly reduces the arousal effect, and other chemicals increase the body’s sensitivity and how the brain processes it significantly.
• Do what you can to get yourself into the right headspace. You mentioned being “eager,” which I understand completely, but many lees also describe their relationship with tickling as something they love to hate. Perhaps your excitement is overriding your body’s natural reflex to get away (i.e. be ticklish). As i said before, sometimes your conscious mind can inform the subconscious parts of you. For example, if you start thinking about a time you were scared or in a bad situation, your heart rate may naturally go up. So, if you get yourself into a nervous state, convince a part of you that you are dreading it, that may get your brain in the right mode. I think there’s probably a reinforcing feedback loop here as well, as the more you experience not being ticklish in a particular situation and state of mind, the more the mind is going to hold on to “Oh, I know this situation—I don’t need to be ticklish right now. I’m safe.”
• If you are taking certain medications for sensory or psychological reasons, some of those can affect how, why, and when we process certain stimuli and ticklishness can absolutely be affected in certain people. If this applies to you, I am definitely NOT saing to adjust or stop taking your medication. I'm simply bringing it up as a potential explanation if it applies.

Listen, I don't know if any of this was helpful, but I certainly hope so. I know this must be frustrating and I'm sorry your experiencing it. I wish you the best of luck!

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

My best advice is to be loose, relax your entire body free your mind of stress like when your ready to go to sleep. Don’t be restrained I hope that helps 🙂