Mistress Aura
Verified
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2006
- Messages
- 1,593
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In the beginning, God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly He was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at
the hearing, God was asked why He began His earthly project in the
first place. He replied that He just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What
about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a
huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light,
assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that He would
obtain a building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light
out half the time. God agreed and said He would call the light "Day" and
the darkness "Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in
semantics.
God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed."
The EPA agreed, so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let
waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may
fly over the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval
from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife
Federation and the Audubongelic Society.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in
six days.Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...
At this point, God created Hell.
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at
the hearing, God was asked why He began His earthly project in the
first place. He replied that He just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What
about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a
huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light,
assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that He would
obtain a building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light
out half the time. God agreed and said He would call the light "Day" and
the darkness "Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in
semantics.
God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed."
The EPA agreed, so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let
waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may
fly over the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval
from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife
Federation and the Audubongelic Society.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in
six days.Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...
At this point, God created Hell.
