inappropriate tickling at hospital?

[YouNeverKnow175]

I visited my 83-yr-old grandmother in the hospital the other day after she'd had knee replacement surgery. When I was there, two physical therapists, one young male and one female, came in to put her leg on a machine to exercise it. She has dementia and wasn't very aware of what was going on, and asked, "What are you doing?" while they were putting it on. The guy replied, "We're tickling your toes" and proceeded to tickle her foot ON THE INJURED leg for a few seconds as she said, "No, no no!" He asked her if she was ticklish, and gave her a little tickle on the sides too. She said she yes but she didn't want to be tickled right now. He said, "Okay, you're not in the mood right now."

I was quite uncomfortable with this, naturally, as tickling is very sexual for me and it was my grandmother (and my mother was in the room). But beyond that, it still seemed in appropriate and unprofessional to tickle an elderly woman who was not feeling well and really mentally out of it - on her injured leg that she couldn't pull away.

Then again, she does love handsome young men, and I can see that maybe he was just being playful because he thought she'd enjoy it. If I were 83 and a hot young nurse or physical therapist tickled my foot, I think I'd be in heaven.

What do you all think? Have you ever experienced anything along these lines?

 

[Bugman]

That is WRONG,WRONG,WRONG.Those people out to be fired tomorrow.To take advantage of someone like that is sick.My mother is 83,and if that happened when i was around or if i heard about it,i would be in jail for assault i guess.Those people are sick.

 

[method11236]

Perhaps they thought it would make her feel better. Laughter has been shown to release endorphins that decrease pain and increase positive emotions. Say it hadn't be your sweet old nana, and had been a sexy 20 something blonde in the next bed... would it had been ok then?

Cheers,
Meth

 

[KoocheeKoo]

Just from your description, it sounds unprofessional and wrong. I once reported a home health nurse to her employer who tickled my 89 yr old great aunt's feet and teased her while doing so (my great aunt was extremely ticklish and it absolutely infuriated her). There's a tremendous difference between examining an elderly diabetic woman's feet for sensation and deliberately tickling (and taunting) her until she was laughing uncontrollaby.....I know the difference, and am certain you do as well (considering it was your grandmother/ loved one).

There are unfortunately a few unprofessional "loose cannons" in the healthcare industry; we hear about them on the news under arrest for raping unconscious nursing home patients....or molesting young women in the dental chair. I've seen nurses accidently tickle my grandmother's feet a time or two (while changing her socks or bathing her at the hospital/ nursing home); that's understandable and unintentional.....much different than what I observed done to my great aunt two years ago (which was willful and deliberate; the nurse was angry because my great aunt was uncooperative (had Alzheimers/ didn't want her feet examined) and tickled her into hysterics for the hell of it 😡

Just my 0.02 cents worth....

 

[resptimes]

Sounds like a call to the State Health Department is certainly in order.

 

[gig1965]

Let me set you all staight

Calling for their jobs.....get real.
Firstly, as a doctor I know first hand that elderly patients with dementia are difficult from a patient management standpoint. This is because they are fearful when they are confused, which is often.
We use everything we have in our bag of tricks to allay those fears.
i doubt your grandmother would have understood or responded well to the true answer as to what he was doing.
You should be grateful that an experienced nurse was assigned to her and handled the situation well, making a potentially bad proceedure for your grandmother a piece of cake by relating it to something that she could understand.


Secondly, Do you really think that that person enjoys tickling an 80-something year old woman with Dementia.
I'll bet he really enjoys changing their bedpans too.

Trust me when I tell you that none of you have even the dimmest realization of how difficult a nurse's job is.
Climb down off of your ivory towers , stop pontificating, lose your sense of self indulging indignation, and spend a week volunteering at a hospital.
Then come back and re-read your comments.
I suspect you will then feel differently.

 

[resptimes]

Actually I have been involved in healthcare for quite some time now. Spent many hours providing direct patient care, and spend my time these days as an administrator. The story as described in the original post certainly does not sound as if the patient care providers acted professionally at all.

There are always 3 versions to every story, unfortunately....we only have one....

Good day all...

 

[aun_existe_amor]

You were there. You saw what happened. If you think it was wrong then you must report it. If nothing was wrong then it will come out in the investigations. Don't be nervous about reporting things or questioning things that you think to be inappropriate. Do whatever you think the right thing is. No one else can tell you. I would report it if it was my mother. Actually, if it was my mother that nurse would be still scraping himself off the floor. If you see anyone doing something that you wonder about, just ask them about it. There's nothing at all wrong with asking questions. If that happened while you were there, what's happening when no relatives are there? Good luck 🙂

 

[maniactickler]

Any person that would want to tickle anyone in their 80s has some mental issues.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

The fact that there was a tickle does NOT mean that it was sexual in nature. While most here see it as a sexual thing, many (if not most) in the vanilla world see it as purely innocent and playful. Unless there was something else that you aren't sharing here, I see nothing wrong with it. It can be a good tool to break through to someone...in the right circumstances, of course.

Ann

 

[SlaverTickler]

I think it was ment in fun...

In may not have been appropriet, but I don'tthink it was done with Malice intent. In my opinion intentions of the person should be considered.

 

[Armpit_licker]

Do some of you people ever get out?? WOW.... The ones who are calling for the guys job need to get your head checked........ He gave her a little tickle in a non sexual way to cheer her up, and when she said stop he did immediatly. Chill the hell out, here.

 

[toyou444]

The fact that there was a tickle does NOT mean that it was sexual in nature. While most here see it as a sexual thing, many (if not most) in the vanilla world see it as purely innocent and playful. Unless there was something else that you aren't sharing here, I see nothing wrong with it. It can be a good tool to break through to someone...in the right circumstances, of course.

Ann

Since an opinion was asked for I'll add my two cents to what Ann said:

Those of us with a particular interest in tickling see it differently than those without. I'm sure we've all been in situations where we saw someone get a quick tickle and its burned into our mind while the other people don't even remember it.

While, from what was written, it sounds really bad, it may have been bigger in your mind than it really was. Reality is a tought thing to get a hold of sometimes, especially when are view is skewed by personal preference.

~ toyou

 

[tklcouple]

Any person that would want to tickle anyone in their 80s has some mental issues.

While as a rule I do not tickle women in their 80s deliberately, I for one, should I be blessed to live into my 80s myself, may at that time very well enjoy tickling women my age just as I enjoy tickling women my own age right now! I'll let you know in a few decades if I make it that long! LOL

As to the incident reported: It sounds like there was no malice intended, and it is importantly noted they did not tickle her more when she sounded her objections, i.e. the patient's request to stop was immediately respected. Keep in mind that FOR MOST PEOPLE TICKLING IS NOT SEXUAL, IN FACT FOR MOST PEOPLE IT IS CLOSER TO HUMOR. I suspect the writer's own level of discomfort because of having this fetish added to the perception of impropriety being magnified. It is one of the potential downfalls of the perspective we all share. I would wonder what patient's daughter, who was in the room (and presumably does not have a tickling fetish although you never do know!) thought of the event. I would wonder if she even thought of it at all. Had they continued to tickle her over her objections, then that would be out of line. But to fire somebody for such an incident would without question be extremely out of line. Should you report it, they will likely not be fired, probably not even disciplinedas there was neither malice nor harm. Keep in mind also that by doing so you may unwittingly expose yourself openly as a tickle fetishist or at least someone who has tickling related issues by implication (which is fine for some but is not a comfortable situation for everyone).

So relax! Grandma is fine and it sounds like she was not harmed in any way but rather that she has therapists who are willing to attempt to connect with her as a person rather than just, get in and get the task done and over with and nevermind the human side of the patient. I think some of the reactions here are deserving of John Stossel's review! LOL

With best regards,

Professor Tkl, MD

 

[aun_existe_amor]

Whether tickling is sexual or not is not an issue, nor is whether the nurse has a tickling fetish or not and neither is whether the grandson has a tickling fetish or not. The grandson was obviously concerned enough about what he saw to ask our opinions. The nurse invaded an elderly woman's personal body space without due cause. The elderly woman was obviously distressed and very unwell. I don't see any good reason to tickle anyone of any age who is obviously already distressed. I'm a nurse. I have never seen any of this sort of behaviour in any of the places I have worked and I hope I never do. There is absolutely no need at all for that behaviour. The nurse's intentions were probably innocent but that does not make them right. I suggest that if anyone has any questions about any treatment they receive, or their relatives receive, in hospital they question the nurse there and then. If they feel unable to do so then question someone else in authority. NEVER feel that it must be ok just because a doctor or nurse did it. I too suspect that the nurse didn't mean any harm by tickling the elderly woman briefly but that still does not make it ok. If there was nothing wrong with what the nurse did then questioning him/her will not do any harm. I'm speaking as a nurse here and not a ler.

 

[stloldg]

I take it that you’re not with your Grandmother 24 hours a day, because of work and other committments; maybe she has a relationship with her therapist.

Therapist tends to have a closer relationship with their clients than nurses and doctors. They're the one that help you recover from serious injuries. If the patient do not trust them than their recovery will be a lot slower; I could see your concern if he would have tickle private parts of her body. But since you, your mother, and another female therapist was there I can only see it as playful fun that they might have shared on a couple of their sessions that you could not attend.

 

[tulipangel]

The fact that there was a tickle does NOT mean that it was sexual in nature. While most here see it as a sexual thing, many (if not most) in the vanilla world see it as purely innocent and playful. Unless there was something else that you aren't sharing here, I see nothing wrong with it. It can be a good tool to break through to someone...in the right circumstances, of course.

Ann

Well said! I dont think the guy was tickling your grandma to "get off" or anything! Yes there are some people out there who are sick and do sick things but in your case the way you describe it, it doesnt sound like he did anything wrong. your involved in this community, ask your mom (who im sure isnt involved in this community) what she thought of the guys actions. Maybe you are just more aware of stuff like that cause your into it.... ok i dont know if anything i said makes sence but it did in my head!

 

[method11236]

Would your grandmother be available to shoot a tickle video?



Meth

 

[TickledToDeath]

They were Wrong......out of line. UNprofessional.
They should be reported and fired.
Period.
Regardless of her age and the circumstances.

 

[Armpit_licker]

They were Wrong......out of line. UNprofessional.
They should be reported and fired.
Period.
Regardless of her age and the circumstances.

All your opinion........... which I disagree with 110 percent.

I can see it now....

"Hey, one of your workers gave my grandma a quick foot tickle to cheer her up and when she said she didn't want to be tickled anymore he quit immediatly... but damnit, I want his ass FIRED!"

How dumb is that??

 

[Sunjob]

At the rate we're going all human contact will be illegal within the workplace soon enough.

He was trying to cheer her up, if anything that's a good thing! Obviously as people with a tickling fetish we see that kind of thing differently, but to me it didn't seem like anything that should result in him losing his job.

I don't work in healthcare but in my everyday-person opinion it just seemed like he was trying to ease her distress with light-heartedness.

 

[kis123]

Calling for their jobs.....get real.
Firstly, as a doctor I know first hand that elderly patients with dementia are difficult from a patient management standpoint. This is because they are fearful when they are confused, which is often.
We use everything we have in our bag of tricks to allay those fears.
i doubt your grandmother would have understood or responded well to the true answer as to what he was doing.
You should be grateful that an experienced nurse was assigned to her and handled the situation well, making a potentially bad proceedure for your grandmother a piece of cake by relating it to something that she could understand.


Secondly, Do you really think that that person enjoys tickling an 80-something year old woman with Dementia.
I'll bet he really enjoys changing their bedpans too.

Trust me when I tell you that none of you have even the dimmest realization of how difficult a nurse's job is.
Climb down off of your ivory towers , stop pontificating, lose your sense of self indulging indignation, and spend a week volunteering at a hospital.
Then come back and re-read your comments.
I suspect you will then feel differently.

With all due respect:

I have little choice than to disagree with you and I have several reasons for it. I come from a family of nurses and medical professionals and what I've discovered over the years kept me from ever becoming on the technical side of things.

Before I go any further, I do NOT hold any gripe or disrespect of the medical profession. But based on personal experience which included working alongside medical professionals in both medical and intensive care units, the arrogance at times, just simply stinks! I've been familiar with the profession since I was a child, and I now have a 20 year old son so I've been there for a very long time.

When life is in your hands, some times and some people get out of focus. Some (not all) get the "God complex" and lose perspective. I don't know enough information to determine if this is such a case or not. I do remember many cases where the nurse determined what happened in a patient's case because they were the ones closest to the patient. The nurse does NOT have the last word, regardless of circumstances-it is the physician! The doctor is the one who will take the heat if a malpractice claim is made-the nurse might get mentioned, but the doctor will take the most amount of heat in a lawsuit.

Based on the information from the original poster, I don't think intentional wrong was done. I know you see a lot because I did when I worked in the hospital and medical professionals get thrown under the bus because of politics. It doesn't mean that loved ones don't have the right to question something they observed without any backlash. They have the right to question the care their loved ones received. You should welcome it since there are so many elderly that are left to fend for themselves. I've worked on a volunteer basis in nursing homes and they are happy to have ANY physical contact with anyone, so there could have been a physical relationship that family members were unaware of-we probably will never know the details.

It's a very tough situation to endure, but there is a relative who is willing to question the care of their eldery relative--something I know you're not accustomed to dealing with.

I'm sure some sort of agreement will be reached and everything will turn out on a positive note. At least I hope as much.

 

[ShadowTklr]

At the rate we're going all human contact will be illegal within the workplace soon enough.

You can type that again! Our society has lost its collective mind, and continues to struggle with sanity on a daily basis. We're doing everything we can to restrict interpersonal contact with one another to the degree that soon no one will be able to touch another person without a formal application, drug screening, background check and only then if the consent is corroborated by two (2) independent witnesses who will be able to attest in court if necessary that the touch was sanctioned by the American Society of Permissive Touching.

It just goes to prove how easily brainwashed the average person can be to believe that something as innocent as what happened in that hospital should be met with such ferver. Incredible!

 

[gig1965]

Today i put my hand on a patient's shoulder as a simple gesture of compassion as she was in tears over the news that i was unfortunately the bearer of.

I hope her husband didn't think i was gratifying my shoulder fetish.

Btw, Meth....that is the single funniest reply i have seen in years!

 

[Tamia78]

I agree with a couple of people here-- what's the big deal? My grandmother has Dementia, and she gets very nervous around her own children and grandchildren. So, I'm sure when the therapists approached her with a strange device, I'm almost postive she was pretty nervous about that. And, as many have pointed out, even the author of this thread, it didn't seem sexual in nature. Moreover he STOPPED when the grandmother asked him to. Immediately. I do understand about being concerned for your loved one, but c'mon..........for those who are asking for the jobs of the therapist? Get real! I've seen so many threads on here for people getting in a quick tickle from coworkers, strangers and so forth, and you guys are congratulating them! I don't hear anyone calling sexual harassment or calling for our fellow TMFers jobs. It was innocent. Plain and simple. I cannot believe that anyone would call this therapist guy sick. He was being playful, geez.....

--T