Interesting point re consent

[xionking]

I'm rarely on here these days but it's good to still see some familiar names.

I came across this article one day and it's stuck with me. It's clear the writer is referring to the TMF.

https://psiloveyou.xyz/how-i-stumbled-upon-the-world-of-tickle-fetishists-9915839de0ac

"And there were confessions. People would relate anecdotes of how they’d managed to “sneak a tickle” from an unsuspecting friend, relative or lover — with the tickled having no idea of the sexual nature of the interaction. These tales were always applauded on the forums, which left me questioning how consent works when it applies to an action that induces laughing. The person being tickled may not find it so amusing if they knew what effect it was having on the one tickling them."

I'm interested to hear what people make and think of the above.

- Xionking

 

[Littlechambers]

Hello!

I am a lee, and from my end it's interesting question. People who don't know how it makes me feel... will try and it do as a playful/ funny thing, completely platonic from their end.
Am I obligated to tell them my deepest sexual desires so that they are consenting?
So much grey area.

If someone is targeting me a lot and I am often aroused by them... then I feel like things are different.
I have a partner and I don't do things that I imagine would make him uncomfortable. So I feel like I should tell them either that I have a fetish and they need to pull back, OR that I don't like it and please respect that I don't want that kind of attention. I don't have to tell them why I don't like it. I don't have to say "I don't like it because it's arousing in a way that is inappropriate for our platonic relationship."

Now, in my opinion... for a Ler it's a little different, but I think it's still a grey area. I mean... if I had a crush on a guy I would actively seek out closeness to feel things that they wouldn't know about necessarily. I didn't say, "hey by the way, please offer consent before hugging me goodbye because I'm likely to feel aroused due to my intense attraction to you."

A Ler will be aroused, on a case by case basis, depending on the duration and specifics of activity. I don't think it's too hard to ask "if this person found out next week, that I had a fetish and this interaction was arousing for me, would they be angered?"

If the answer to the above question is - yes, they would feel violated/angry - then don't continue the interaction.
Similar if a Lee is being targeted by someone who doesn't know. Ask the above question.
We might not always get the answer right, but as long as we try to do the right thing.

That being said, if you are doing the Tword with someone... there is probably a certain level of closeness anyway. I choose to tell relatives not to touch me that way because I don't like it. (And in their case, I really don't."
With friends, I don't mind brief playfulness with some of them. But if they pinned me down and did something for more than 2-3 minuets - I ask the above question... would they be angry if they knew how I really felt? ... well my partner would be. My friends might not be angry at me, but they might feel uncomfortable if they are friends with my partner... because it's like they crossed a line. So after running through all of that information - yes I would stop the interaction and tell them I don't like it.

The above is not necessarily consent, so much as consideration for others.

 

[Wolf]

Here we go again...

https://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?319304-The-Question-of-Ethical-Tickling

 

[robmic]

(GR violation -post deleted)

 

[omnifeller]

Aside from that interesting point, I really appreciate the writer and her openness to understanding our community. We do face a unique challenge, that it can feel lonely in our proclivities, given the small size of our community.

Maybe given the above, "sneaking a tickle" could be justified in some way that "grabbing a boob" cannot. But personally, I would never do either of those to a stranger or even a friend; only someone I who I am dating or in a relationship with. I imagine most of the people that "sneak a tickle" are doing so flirtatiously, with someone that shows at least some interest in return.

 

[lostphilosopher]

I've made it my own policy, when it comes to any sort of physical contact, to only touch a potential romantic partner at the point in the relationship where it's desired by both of us. I may introduce tickling when things go further than that but again,only with their permission.