Is it just me?

[MikefromPA]

I'm sorry if there was a post like this in the last couple days and I missed it, but I was curious to see how other people felt about this.

Since I can remember, I have always been weird about tickling. Something about the sensation and just the act itself has always been special to me. In recent years, however, it has been nothing but a burden. Whether it be being outed in high school or the fact that the one shot I've had to get laid has been ruined by the fact I find it difficult to get up without tickling being involved, there has been not a single positive stemming from this goddamned fetish. Am I the only person here who feels this way? That if they woke up tomorrow and never thought about tickling again or at least not in this context, would be ecstatic?

 

[Jejxenbdujxdbuehcbejdev]

I feel your pain. all i can say is since i have gotten older i have learned when and in what situation it is appropriate. trust me, once a tickle fetishist always a tickle fetishist. it will get a lot easier!

 

[sealdan]

Hey Mike,

I feel ya here. I've been in that situation myself when I was younger (I'm 23 now). I felt sad reading your post and I'm wanting more freedom for you around your expression of your tickle fetish. In my own experience, I found that the more open I was with it, the more relaxed I would feel to "be myself," regardless of whether people were into my fetish or not, or judged it for being "weird."

Do you have any close friends who can just listen to you and hold space for you? Not the kind that will plow you with advice and suggestions, as good as their intentions are, but the kind that can just be there with you as you vulnerably express what your tickle fantasies are? If not, perhaps there's a therapist or counselor in your area? I've found that people trained in that field are typically very good at listening and creating a safe space for you.

In both my own and a lot of my friends' experiences, the shame that they have around their sexual fetishes/fantasies doesn't have such a hold on them after they've shared them with others.

Hope this helps.

Also I'm curious, how old are you?

Dan

 

[mysticsvn]

Great advice sealdan. When I was in my teens I worried about it quite a bit, but I haven't had any bad experiences so now days I'm completely open when it comes to things like this. I don't have difficulty getting it up when tickling is not involved, but I'm sure that is very frustrating, but I think being comfortable in your own skin will help with that situation a lot.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

I find it difficult to get up without tickling being involved

This is a problem for a lot of us actually. It's the price of the fetish. I have never voluntarily watched vanilla porn. Friends have shown it to me and I've acted interested, but my wiring is such that to watch people having vanilla sex is just...boring. In my case, yes, I am definitely turned on by hot women, and I am turned on by all the sensations that come from having sex with hot women, but I've found that I get bored with sex very quickly unless there's tickling involved. And because I'm not 17 anymore, which means that sex actually has to last longer than 30 seconds, there's often a problem "getting to home plate" if you know what I mean. And of course this leads to problems with whatever gf I have at the time, who always assumes that she's "not hot enough" or whatever. I envy vanilla people sometimes.

 

[sealdan]

MikefromPA and MaleTickleeDC, does sex have to involve orgasm or ejaculation for you guys? I'm not asking this in a "'cause it's wrong if you do have to have an orgasm" sort of way, I'm just curious.

And MaleTickleeDC, I hear ya on your partners assuming they're not hot enough if you don't orgasm during sex. I'm curious, have you been upfront with them about your tickling fetish? If I were to put myself in your shoes, I think if my partner DIDN'T know about my tickling fetish and I had trouble orgasming during sex, I could see how that would trigger a weak spot of "I'm not good/hot/beautiful/sexy enough." However, if I WERE upfront about my fetish, and that it's a necessity for me to feel aroused, then I could see the "I'm not enough" being irrelevant for her, since the issue is that my fetish needs aren't getting met, rather than she's not arousing enough for me.

Dan

 

[Simply_Tom]

I'm in the same boat. I've let many a relationship go sour because I got too into the girl before realizing she wasn't ticklish. :/
I don't mean to be shallow, but I just cannot be happy dating a non-ticklish girl.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

MikefromPA and MaleTickleeDC, does sex have to involve orgasm or ejaculation for you guys? I'm not asking this in a "'cause it's wrong if you do have to have an orgasm" sort of way, I'm just curious.

And MaleTickleeDC, I hear ya on your partners assuming they're not hot enough if you don't orgasm during sex. I'm curious, have you been upfront with them about your tickling fetish? If I were to put myself in your shoes, I think if my partner DIDN'T know about my tickling fetish and I had trouble orgasming during sex, I could see how that would trigger a weak spot of "I'm not good/hot/beautiful/sexy enough." However, if I WERE upfront about my fetish, and that it's a necessity for me to feel aroused, then I could see the "I'm not enough" being irrelevant for her, since the issue is that my fetish needs aren't getting met, rather than she's not arousing enough for me.

Dan

Yes, sex isn't any good without orgasming for me, so it's doubly frustrating when things go awry because the girl I'm with doesn't know about/understand my need for tickling to be a part of the sexual experience. Actually, it doesn't even HAVE to be tickling. Pretty much any kind of domination by the woman that doesn't involve pain will get me going. So I would try to avoid the whole "I have a tickling fetish" conversation by coaxing the girl into tying me up during sex, her wearing dominating outfits like leather boots, etc, but there's only so many times you can do that before you have to come clean that vanilla sex just doesn't do it for you.

My last serious relationship was a few years back. I was still in my mid-20s and I was foolish and decided not to share the whole tickling thing with the girl. This led to constant fights about sex, because she thought it was her fault that things would go badly, even though I tried to explain that it wasn't. And then I would try to avoid sex, which she found VERY weird, because I'm the guy, and the guy is supposed to want sex. I tried to hint around hoping she'd finally figure out the tickling thing on her own, but I now realize that I will have to be upfront in future relationships. I guess I am just going to have to sit the next girl down once the time feels right and explain the whole thing to her. Needless to say that freaks me out.

 

[3xPIN]

I am fine with who I am. But I am pretty weird. I never worried about things like, "getting laid" or having tickle sessions. I am just happy to be alive and in as good of shape as I am. I feel great. I don't let my tickling get in my way.

 

[HallowedGround5]

I think it's important to consider that everyone is weird, in their own way. What's "normal" really just has to do with what is perceived to be normal, in a particular culture or group. I can't relate to your post, completely; because, I don't need tickling to be turned on. However, I have been in past relationships where my desire to tickle my girlfriend has caused some problems. If I've learned anything, it's that we can only do one of two things, when faced with a problem: (1) We can change so that the problem is gone or (2) We can accept ourselves for who we are. Unless one of those two actions is taken, it can be very difficult to be truly happy.

 

[sealdan]

I tried to hint around hoping she'd finally figure out the tickling thing on her own, but I now realize that I will have to be upfront in future relationships. I guess I am just going to have to sit the next girl down once the time feels right and explain the whole thing to her. Needless to say that freaks me out.

Thank you for your honesty. What freaks you out about it?

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

Thank you for your honesty. What freaks you out about it?

The thought that she might say, "Ew! Creepo!" and run out the door.

 

[LD_Tickler]

I used to feel exactly like that. I've relaxed a bit, got into new things, and now it's not really a problem.

I'd still probably rather not have the fetish than have it, but I've learned to enjoy it a fair bit, too. 😎

 

[sealdan]

The thought that she might say, "Ew! Creepo!" and run out the door.

And if she did that, what would that mean?

 

[dazed]

Hi, sorry to drop in here without reading all the previous posts but I know that If my sensuality was vanilla I'd probably be happily settled down by now.

I'm a lesbian and most kinky UK lesbians seem to be into pain and nasty humiliating stuff. I'm now single after a relationship with a woman who I told from the start about my tickling fetish. She didn't have it herself but realised that tickling me was the way to get me going -and you straight guys will know how long it can take to get a woman going ;-) I'm not 'wired up' like other women either. No point going straight for my breasts because that doesn't do anything for me. One lover, also happy to explore my ticklishness in a tantric sense, said my breast sensitivity seemed to have trickled into the rest of my body. That's it really, how I'm ever going to find another woman partner into this around my age (43) I really don't know.

I hope soon I find some platonic play partners and, maybe, that having a man share tickling with me (there are so many more of you out there and I do like men as friends) will be enough. I don't know.

So, life would be easier but probably less wonderful if I didn't have this fetish. I hope I'm not single for long and that the only reason I may have for opting for a loving vanilla relationship in the future is because I've spent a few years getting into all the tickling I could ever want.

Just, a woman loving woman's point of view here then.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

And if she did that, what would that mean?

That I wouldn't be getting laid that night. LOL.

And of course the retort is what's the point of having a girlfriend who will sleep with me every night if I'm totally in the closet about the one thing that would make the sex 100 times better for me.

Ideally we'd all like to find someone who would not only accept but enjoy our fetish. But I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that it's very hard to do that. I would be happy finding someone who I would feel comfortable sharing it with, and who would partake in the fetish because she wants me to be happy.

 

[sealdan]

That I wouldn't be getting laid that night. LOL.

And of course the retort is what's the point of having a girlfriend who will sleep with me every night if I'm totally in the closet about the one thing that would make the sex 100 times better for me.

Ideally we'd all like to find someone who would not only accept but enjoy our fetish. But I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that it's very hard to do that. I would be happy finding someone who I would feel comfortable sharing it with, and who would partake in the fetish because she wants me to be happy.

Got it. I was getting more at what that would mean about yourself as a person if she ran out saying "ew" like that.

Also, I agree that it's a huge challenge to find someone we're compatible with who shares our fetish. I for one, wonder whether I'm ever going to find someone I feel completely satisfied in relationship with. I'm definitely wanting to find that person, and only time will tell.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

Got it. I was getting more at what that would mean about yourself as a person if she ran out saying "ew" like that.

It wouldn't mean anything about myself as a person, because the assignment of value to a person or anything else is totally subjective. My value isn't dependent on what someone else thinks. In fact, things like value, meaning, etc, are all creations of the human mind anyway. As some philosopher once said, all that exists are atoms and empty space --- everything else is opinion.

 

[Emishticklish]

I share alot of the same views. I've learned to embrace my tickle Fetish....and no way would I date a Girl who isn't ticklish. It'd be pointless.

 

[sealdan]

It wouldn't mean anything about myself as a person, because the assignment of value to a person or anything else is totally subjective. My value isn't dependent on what someone else thinks. In fact, things like value, meaning, etc, are all creations of the human mind anyway. As some philosopher once said, all that exists are atoms and empty space --- everything else is opinion.

I agree. If I were to have the experience of a woman saying "ew!" and running out of the room after I told her about my fetish, I'd probably feel a little pang of hurt (especially if I really felt a connection with her), AND it wouldn't mean anything about my value as a person. Thanks for sharing.