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Is there a trade-off going on here?

PiedPiper

4th Level Red Feather
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--- When I reflect back over the relationships I've had in the past thirty years or so, it's difficult to ignore a certain "pattern" with the wonderful ladies who have helped make having a foot- and tickling fetish such a nice diversion.

--- Dory, for example, had never encountered a "foot fetish," and was ticklish in the extreme. But she countered my "announcement" by suggesting that "...maybe if I tied her up,... etc" She was, in fact, so into bondage that, astonishly, she once asked me to leave her tied to the bed when I left for work in the morning.

--- Susan initially could not STAND any contact, let alone tickling, where her feet were concerned,.... but upon learning that it was sort of important to me, she revised her position by revealing a lifelong fascination with the tied-up damsel-in-distress theme. HER particular fantasy was being bound naked and OUTDOORS. And tickling became an easy and natural part of this.

--- Linda also had no experience in the foot and tickling business,... but once the subject was broached, she became literally mesmerized by the notion of being bound. Hell, Linda wanted to be tied up for virtually every sensual or erotic experience we ever shared,... and her reactions to being tickled were perhaps the most tortuous of all.

--- And there were others, less notable. A couple of my college girlfriends just flat-out ASKED me to tie them up,.. Carol at Hilton Head never really accepted anything but the briefest ticklings,..... but being tied down to prolong sexual tension?? Just name the time. And heck,... even my childhood playmate Yvonne went along with the frequent foot tickling,... because it usually got her tied up.

--- I guess the point I'm making (or question I'm asking) is that an awful lot of women seem to have a submissive predisposition toward bondage,.... probably a larger percentage than that of the males thought to have foot fetishes. Is this true? Anyone?
 
--- I guess the point I'm making (or question I'm asking) is that an awful lot of women seem to have a submissive predisposition toward bondage,.... probably a larger percentage than that of the males thought to have foot fetishes. Is this true? Anyone?

Maybe there are a couple of related theses to be proved or disproved here:

1. More women would like to be tied up by a man than to tie him up (for whatever reason - sex, tickling, play, etc)?

2. More men with foot fetishes would rather tie up a woman than be tied up by her?

3. More women would rather be tied up by another woman than by a man (for whatever reason)?

My personal experiences have shown that number one is true: the few women I've had the opportunity to tie up have had little interest in tying me up. These ladies were outgoing and opinionated so it wasn't a personality thing - they would just rather be tied up and played with than the other way around - possibly from selfishness - we were in our 20's. Maybe the bondage play element stays with men longer but not with women? Someone, poll women on the street in their 40's and 50's and get their opinion on bondage play - my feeling is that a small number would be interested or practice it.

I'm not so sure number two is correct anymore. Judging from the number of positive responses to F/M postings, maybe this "strictly male dom" attitude is changing. I, personally, would like equal time being tied and played with. Since I always tried to provide an orgasmic experience to the tied lady while mixing in a little tickling, I was hoping that the favor be returned (I'm a love bondage kind of guy). The one time I got a woman to tie me, she did such a poor job I really had to just imagine being tied because I could easily just slip out of it. I tried to instruct her while she was tying but she was just doing it to humor me, get it over with, and move on - it only happened once.

Number three is interesting. Of course, we see a lot of F/F in the fetish business and I read on many model bio pages that they are bi or at least bi-curious. I don't know how this translates out into the "real world" (time for another woman-on-the-street poll). I'm sure there are WAY fewer men who are bi-sexual or bi-curous. This F/F orientation may stem from a feeling of safety or also from "another woman will know best how to pleasure me" attitude.

PiedPiper relates several occasions where he "nurtured" an interest in his girl being tied and tickled by introducing it slowly and ending with her enjoying it. Other stories tell how the lady never did like it and that was that.

So, this brings up a final question:

4. Should you come to a specialized forum like this to find a tickle play partner (one member says she was able to find partners but that they were a six hour drive away)?
-OR -
Is it more producive to seek a partner in the local scene, possiby finding one that already has a hidden interest or one where an interest can take root?
-and maybe-
Should you start looking at a younger age? Does the attraction of bondage/tickling wane (at least for women) as they mature/age?

WHEW! Too much thinking for a Saturday morning ...
 
Whoa! Really?

I'd like to hear reactions to this from people who actually <I>are</I> women. Does this make sense to you?
 
Number three is interesting. Of course, we see a lot of F/F in the fetish business and I read on many model bio pages that they are bi or at least bi-curious. I don't know how this translates out into the "real world" (time for another woman-on-the-street poll). I'm sure there are WAY fewer men who are bi-sexual or bi-curous. This F/F orientation may stem from a feeling of safety or also from "another woman will know best how to pleasure me" attitude.

You're seeing this on model bio pages? And you're taking it as truth? Not maybe just what they think you want to read?

We see F/F in this business, I think, because it sells. To men.
 
--- I guess the point I'm making (or question I'm asking) is that an awful lot of women seem to have a submissive predisposition toward bondage,.... probably a larger percentage than that of the males thought to have foot fetishes. Is this true? Anyone?


Don't know how many men actually have foot fetishes. Not enough, that's for sure! I don't believe I've ever met any outside of fetish clubs or websites.

I have a submissive predisposition toward bondage. I don't know how many other women do.
 
i've fantasized about being tied up since i was preteen age..the idea of being totally helpless is such a turn on to me.fingers teasing and tickling everywhere without me being able to stop it..ahh i can't imagine anything better..i love the one girl who you said always fantasized about being tied outside naked..i would love that...i however never get to indulge in that, as i'm married and have been married to a vanilla for twenty nine years..but i can always fantasize..

you have had some amazing experiences in your lifetime..i would think you should consider yourself extremely fortunate...

i'm not sure i understand your initial question about a trade off though..
 
Good reply

Don't know how many men actually have foot fetishes. Not enough, that's for sure! I don't believe I've ever met any outside of fetish clubs or websites.

I have a submissive predisposition toward bondage. I don't know how many other women do.

--------------------------------
---Thanks, lk,..... and yeah, I figured it would be more helpful to hear from more of the ladies on this one. As for men with foot fetishes, I've been hearing all my life that the percentage ranged from 10% to 15%,... with about a 90% correlation to foot ticklers. However, it seems that I gradually grew to anticipate a higher incidence of receptivity among women towards bondage, than to foot fetish activities. It now even seems somewhat logical to me. From the Perils of Pauline, onward, the damsel in distress seemed to get tied up,.. and that may be construed as emphasizing her desirability and femininity.

--- Incidentally lk, the percentage of women I've known who had a genuine apreciation for bondage games is easily above 50%. Can't say that about those ladies who responded positively to the foot fetish,... although I've still been pretty fortunate.
 
My girlfriend prefers male lers in clips, but she isn't really submissive to bondage. She is just submissive to me and the bondage is there for me and to keep her still haha.

And she loves to have her feet loved on by me, and she can be turned on by having her feet feathered.

She does kinda start to want me when I'm tying her up too.
 
As for men with foot fetishes, I've been hearing all my life that the percentage ranged from 10% to 15%,... with about a 90% correlation to foot ticklers.
I don't think this is accurate. There's a current poll on Footnight.com (16,880 votes to date) in which only 7% of respondents indicated that tickling is their preferred foot fetish activity. That fits pretty well with my experience at these parties, as well as my (limited) exposure to foot-related porn.

As for bondage and other SM activities, I have observed more women than men taking the submissive role. If I were armchair-psychologizing, I would say that women have traditionally been trained to take a less demanding, more passive approach towards sex. Even for a modern feminist ballbuster like me, 😉 it may be hard to break out of that role. Being tied up and dominated means a lack of responsibility for what transpires, and permission to absorb the impact of the experience without having to steer its course. I believe it's this longstanding cultural training that drives the gender disparity in who chooses D/ and who chooses /s.
 
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