Is There Such Thing As Consensual Non-Consensual Tickling?

[JimBoy]

I will try to explain this as best I can...

Consensual tickling is when two or more people agree to tickle and be tickled; engaging in tickle play.

Non-consensual is when tickling is done when one physically controls another against their will and decides to tickle them. It could happen between strangers and those who know each other.

Now for consensual non-consensual; this could be two friends hanging out when one of them decides to have fun and tickle attack the other. They could either grab hold of their ankle and tickle their feet; or something like that. Now the friend might not really like it and sometimes not be able to get away from the tickler; but it is regarded as play among friends. This type of tickling is usually spur of the moment and not pre-planned among the players.


So essentially what I am asking is does tickling have to be pre-planned in order for it to be consensual?

 

[Journia]

No....but then, no one planned on Tickling to be consensual. I sure as truck didn't.

 

[sabaki]

Going by your definitions, you contradicted yourself. In your example for consensual non-consensual play, you describe a situation where no one agreed to play. Agreement was your key requirement for something to be consensual.

By your definitions, the play between friends is fully non-consensual.

So what I will ask you is: is all non-consensual play wrong?

Consent is wishy-washy. People do things all the time without consent, based on social norms and just plain guessing. It would be better to think in terms of right and wrong.

 

[melanie2]

if you mean a tickle session..then i suppose it's considered consensual...if you mean a tickle fight....well it's still consensual...

non consensual....being tickled against their will..

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

Well in the case of the friends tickling could be non-consensual but accepted as a part of their relationship. My very first 'lee was like that. She may or may not have liked the tickling, but she didn't say no. I think she enjoyed being chased and caught.

If the 'lee decides that the tickling is not desired and the 'ler presses on then they have veered into pure non-consent.

 

[Wade1]

So essentially what I am asking is does tickling have to be pre-planned in order for it to be consensual?

Yes, at least to the degree that there has to be at least minimal communication preceding the act: one person saying "Tickle me" and the other one saying "Okay," or one person saying "Can I tickle you?" and the other person saying "Sure."

What you're describing in the scenario among friends is an assumption among the friends that, although the tickling is uninvited and nonconsensual, it exists within the realm of activities that the friends can appropriately engage in and still remain friendly, like verbal teasing or gentle mockery.

100% of the tickling I've endured has been of this variety: unplanned, nonconsensual, deployed against me by friends, coworkers, or intimate partners specifically because they anticipate that I won't like it, but with the expectation that I won't dislike it so much as to become miserable. I absolutely say "No," "Don't," and "Stop it," but the context is one that permits, within reasonable limits, refusal to comply with my saying "No."

One of my coworkers who used to tickle me in the office relentlessly once said, ""I love to tickle you because you don't get mad." She'd tried tickling her boyfriend once and he'd flown into a rage, pinned her down and said never to do it again.

So obviously my reactions, despite the aversive movements and pleas for mercy, contribute to a subtle encouragement: like (again) verbal teasing, it's a way to torment your friend or lover, dancing on the edge of sadism without engaging in nastiness.

But it's still fundamentally nonconsensual--if I gave consent to being tickled, few if any of these women would ever have done it, as the very reason for their doing it would have been gone.

 

[TKLVR181]

Oh, non-consensual consensual exists. Senshi does it to me. Lots. And I love it 😛 He knows he doesn't have to ask if he wants to just hold me down and tickle me 😀

~K

 

[sabaki]

Mm... good post, Wade.

I think some of you should stop calling friendly tickling "consensual nonconsensual", a name which makes no sense and suggests to SSC freaks that there's something wrong with it.

The context in which I've usually heard this phrase is in reference to scenes in which the bottom agrees to be tortured to the point where he would withdraw consent, and then have the scene keep going.

I'm not sure about those, but they sound hot in fantasy.

The point is, if they're wrong, it isn't because they're "nonconsensual" ("no consent was given"). It's because the bottom asks for the scene to stop and is ignored.

 

[bobg5291]

Consensual vs Non Consensual

What do we really mean by consensual. Obviously if we're acting out a scene we're not actually kidnapping somebody and tickling them against their will. Yet that is undoubtedly one of the hottest and most popular fantasies. I will grant that some of us like the playful tickle fight kind of games, but they frankly do nothing for me.

Safe words? If you insist. But have you ever played a scene for real? Oh yeah, we set a pre set time limit, but once the action starts I have no way to stop it. . I hve to trust my partner to stick to the time limit, though after a while I know I kinda lose track of time. It's torture, and it's fantastic!

I even like to be gagged while all of this is going on. This way I can't evn beg !! I guess you could say I consent to give up my consent.😉

 

[the_jimmy_james]

But what about showing up with a length of rope, tying the chick up behind the sofa and going at it until she can't take it anymore?

Now what if this person is your girlfriend?

You'll look at this and say "Ohhh Gawd, that's so 'non-con'". However, for some couples, it's expected.

So, why the burning curiosity over this question?

 

[Camel26]

My wife has my consent to non-consensually attack...whenever!

So yes, I think there is such a thing...😉