is tickle porn to blame?

[ticklelizzy]

Do you think its possible to be obsessed with "tickle porn"?

 

[maniactickler]

A hard core tickle guy will always choose tickling over sex. i still have a desire for sex, but not nearly like i do for tickling.

 

[ticklelizzy]

... so there's nothing i can do?

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

Is tickling just better (to us) and sex is over-rated?

 

[..Glamorous..]

Your sex drive could be declining for certain reasons. Plus.. people typically go through stages as far as their sex drive.

Reduction in libido can occur from psychological causes such as loss of privacy and/or intimacy, stress, distraction or depression. It may also derive from the presence of environmental stressors such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound levels or bright light. Other causes include:
depression
stress or fatigue
childhood sexual abuse, assault, trauma, or neglect
body image issues
sexual performance anxiety

Physical factors that can affect libido include: endocrine issues such as hypothyroidism, levels of available testosterone in the bloodstream of both women and men, the effect of certain prescription medications (for example proscar (a.k.a. finasteride) or minoxidil), various lifestyle factors and the attractiveness and biological fitness of one's partner. Inborn lack of sexual desire, often observed in asexual people, can also be considered a physical factor.

Being very underweight, severely obese, or malnourished can cause a low libido due to disruptions in normal hormonal levels. There is also evidence to support that specific foods have an effect on libido.

Reduced libido is also often iatrogenic and can be caused by many medications, such as hormonal contraception, SSRIs and other antidepressants, antipsychotics, opioids and beta blockers. In some cases iatrogenic impotence or other sexual dysfunction can be permanent, as in PSSD.

 

[ticklelizzy]

Is tickling just better (to us) and sex is over-rated?

I understand what you're saying... but how does that effect a relationship? Is there a compromise?

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

I understand what you're saying... but how does that effect a relationship? Is there a compromise?

Maybe its a you-do-something-for-me, I do-something-for-you situation?

 

[Angel77]

Your sex drive could be declining for certain reasons. Plus.. people typically go through stages as far as their sex drive.

I agree. And also, some people are just so hardwired with their fetish that normal, everyday vanilla sex won't do it for them anymore.

I don't know what the answer would be for that though 🙁

 

[ticklelizzy]

i try that and it isn't working. i'm willing to do anything he wants. it simply isn't enough. its the only real problem in our relationship. i can't think of anything else except that i'm not tickle porn, and thats what he wants.

 

[maniactickler]

Damn. sounds like hes an extreme case of tickle fetishitis.

 

[Pokey]

I hope you are able to talk with your partner and work on what is going on and try to make it a situation that both can benefit. Communication is so very important, especially with the things that are part of the basic component of most any relationship. Most differences have to be resolved by either give and take. one party totally giving in to the other, which is rarely good or possible, or termination, which is difficult whether it be a job or a relationship. course this is just the opinion of one old guy that has been married for a long time. Good luck and if you ever would like to say hey you are welcome to pm or e-mail me.

Jim

edit, I should also add sometimes professional help can help.

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

Why not combine the 2, together, at the same time...

 

[rhiannon]

It does happen that people don't want the real thing, just want to watch. They need the visual stimulation, and they can't do anything wrong because they don't have to watch out for a partner, so there is no pressure, no fear to fail and embarrass themselves. I just talked to a friend of mine who has the exact same problem! Her boyfriend is now going to see a therapist.

Have you talked to him about it? What does he say?

 

[NonConTickler]

I think that for me, porn in general has something to do with how I am. When I was younger I found at age 14 that I looked old enough to buy porno mags without getting carded. The kind they have at newsstands, I didn't know there were tickling mags yet. So during my freshman year in high school I had like $250 worth of porn mags under my bed, that I would masturbate to and fantasize about tickling the women in the mags. I was an only child and very timid so I had no idea how to interact with other kids, what kinds of things kids liked, talked about, etc. So I just started living in my own little self-focused world, and into middle age I still am. Now my ideal situation would be to have a woman to tickle and then either masturbate on her feet or get a footjob from her. The tickling makes me horny, but I just want my climax and that's all I'm interested in. I guess I got into that frame of mind from my days growing up masturbating to mags.

Does he have any interest in touching your breasts, ass, vagina? Or would he prefer to just tickle you, cum, and he's done? If he still seems to have interest in non-ticklish areas of your body, then there's hope. If he's like me, I'm afraid he's a lost cause and it would be advantageous to you both if you moved on to someone else, IMO.

 

[rhiannon]

I guess I got into that frame of mind from my days growing up masturbating to mags.

I don't think masturbation to magazines caused you to be the way you are. All guys do that, and I have never heard about a guy who is like you before! 🙂

 

[Mephistopheles]

Before I discovered this thingy here I spent my days as a young lad on the internet searching for regular porn. This has just replaced that. Nevertheless my libido remained the same.

 

[Borg Perfection]

A hard core tickle guy will always choose tickling over sex. i still have a desire for sex, but not nearly like i do for tickling.

I think you've got it kind of wrong.. You do have a desire for "sex", but tickling is sex to you.

Sex is not (and I'm sorry for sounding so crude) merely inserting your member into a vagina. "Sex" is anything and everything. If you want to be extremely literal, then yes by definition you wouldn't have "had sex" with someone necessarily without intercourse but it is so much more than that.

Tickling is a major part of your sexuality, just like feeling a breast is to someone else's, or spanking, licking, kissing -- you get the drift.

Sex is intercourse and/or all things included, and if tickling is what gets your rocks off and that's what you desire, then you do have a good sex drive, be it an "alternative" one.

 

[ticklelizzy]

I think you've got it kind of wrong.. You do have a desire for "sex", but tickling is sex to you.

Sex is not (and I'm sorry for sounding so crude) merely inserting your member into a vagina. "Sex" is anything and everything. If you want to be extremely literal, then yes by definition you wouldn't have "had sex" with someone necessarily without intercourse but it is so much more than that.

Tickling is a major part of your sexuality, just like feeling a breast is to someone else's, or spanking, licking, kissing -- you get the drift.

Sex is intercourse and/or all things included, and if tickling is what gets your rocks off and that's what you desire, then you do have a good sex drive, be it an "alternative" one.

but how do you compromise with another person who wants the real thing?

 

[Borg Perfection]

but how do you compromise with another person who wants the real thing?

Well, everyone's sexuality is different. You could ask a gay male how to compromise with a heterosexual woman, an extreme example I know, but the point is it's your sexuality. If that's what is most important to you during sex, perhaps you shouldn't enter into relationships with people who aren't sexually compatable with you.

And what is "the real thing"? I don't think any sexual act, be it tickling or vanilla intercourse, can truly be defined as "the real thing." I agree that the majority of people think there is, but the truth is sex comes in all forms.

If by your question you were asking what to do when you're with someone, and they themselves do not get off on tickling, and wants something else.. Well be kind and return the favor they gave you. And if it's straight intercourse they want, and somehow you're not into that.. Well then you can't really "compromise" for them, and are incompatable.

 

[daryl]

So is it that he doesn't want to have "straight sex" at all? He just wants to watch the vids? does he want to watch the vids with you?

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Do you think its possible to be obsessed with "tickle porn"?

Anything can be addictive.

 

[maniactickler]

Anything can be addictive.

Correct as always. take my addiction to Crystal for example. it can happen. trust me.

 

[-Hari-]

its possible to be obsessed with anything, if for you its tickle clips... you may find its just a phase, you worried your spending too much?

 

[ticklelizzy]

So is it that he doesn't want to have "straight sex" at all? He just wants to watch the vids? does he want to watch the vids with you?

No- he has no desire for "vanilla sex". Thing is... I don't either... I enjoy being kinky and adventurous. My concern is that he is so into porn that real physical contact doesn't arouse him anymore. Or perhaps it is me that doesn't arouse him... but since he is affectionate in other ways, it makes me wonder. Any thoughts? I want to save my relationship, but this is a deal-breaker.

 

[Borg Perfection]

No- he has no desire for "vanilla sex". Thing is... I don't either... I enjoy being kinky and adventurous. My concern is that he is so into porn that real physical contact doesn't arouse him anymore. Or perhaps it is me that doesn't arouse him... but since he is affectionate in other ways, it makes me wonder. Any thoughts? I want to save my relationship, but this is a deal-breaker.

Oh wait... You and Daryl are together? Or are you saying your boyfriend is exhibiting the same issues as the OP?

Whatever the case may be, you need to have the relationship take a pause until your partner can answer those questions honestly. "Do you prefer porn over physical contact?" "Is it all physical contact, or only physical contact with me?"

If he is honest, and the answer ends up being that you in particular don't arouse him, (and I do understand how painful that feels to even think of) ask him what would change that? Sometimes, it can be something as simple as getting a new hair-style that can renew someone's attraction to you. Even if it's something more serious such as weight, be it he wants you to lose some or gain some -- offer to begin excercising together. It deffinately is a great way for two people to bond, and usually does increase sexual arousal for both genders.

If worse comes to worse, maybe you guys need a break? Sexuality, though not the most important factor of a relationship, is still important. This may be up for debate, but I believe that sexual satisfaction is a basic need for all humans on some level, given that they aren't a-sexual or no longer have those feelings due to age. It's something that your body and mind craves, and I don't mean it in the filthy connotation where it's like "oh I'm so horny and I wanna fuck somethin'!" I mean it in the sense that most people naturally crave sensuality, and when they are destitute of that it does cause some psychological and physical unrest.

That being said, there should be other things in the relationship that are also fulfilling and satisfying in other ways that give you a reason to stick around, such as an intellectual connection, personal compatability, having fun together, etc. You should explore these areas too, and after hashing it out with your partner, if you find the glass to be more empty than full, perhaps you need to consider breaking it off.

I wish you the best though.