Journia
3rd Level Blue Feather
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2006
- Messages
- 5,578
- Points
- 0
This year has been one of revelation for me. I've discovered so many things about me that I had ignored. Among them the origins of my obsession with tickling.
It starts out pretty simple for me, and probably for all of us.
But let me explain my whole approach to it though.
For me, it is about power. But not the idea of power as in domination of one particular gender over another, as I am an equal opportunity tickler. However, I do not enjoy being tickled myself. I am literally sickened by the thought, not fearful of it, merely sickened, revolted even.
For me the joy is in how much I can exert my power over the other individual. Be it male or female. Struggles and the thrill of the hunt. And yes, I enjoy it immensely, otherwise I'd not have a "Fetish," which is actually for me, more of a fixation on it.
In fact my stories are often a prime example of my own inner workings of the whole tickling thing.
So, I remember the first time I was tickled by someone I did not know. It was the first day of pre-kindergarten. We were playing duck duck goose, and the teacher for some stupid reason, snuck up behind me, and tickled the crap out of me.
Now, I didn't have much of a reaction except for, "Hey, what the fuck? HAHAHAHA!" But, I internalized the whole situation. I was very vengeful, knowing myself I can only assume, but I didn't have the power to get the teacher back.
This also fostered a deep disgust of men that lay in my unconscious mind, revealing itself in my choice of friends. In every grade, I had at least two female friends, but no male friends until my second year of high school. I can associate with both genders just fine, and I'm quickly getting over this particular problem.
It was after this that my obsession with tickling actually started. In later grades, I felt a compulsion to mercilessly tickle the crap out of other people, and I always followed through. I particularly focused on males. Now that I look over it, it was most likely because of the fact that the teacher was a male.
Later on, I began growing an interest in females. But it wasn't until I was in high school, my most deprave time so far, that I began using every mental trick I knew and concocted to exert my own ticklish power over them. No female was safe at that time, adult women or underage girls. Even as I grew into college age, I still did that because of the power that I exerted. Not because I found females to be weak, I just believed, and depending on the strength one would be using, I knew, I was stronger. And no, the strength was not of physical power, but of mental.
This whole thing is also linked up with a situation of me not enjoying being touched by people. Because my own personal space was being violated, and as a result, in college I happened to delve into a bout of invading other people's personal space, without their knowledge and other such things. Anyone who has followed me on Youtube knows that for a fact. I literally made a little empire out of my anger about that. I got paid to fill a void of security that simply could not be filled unless I found the reason.
This anger and frustration often manifested itself in many ways. Me being a troll, me shooting off crazy threads and all kinds of god knows what else.
Which is part of the reason that on the fifteenth of April I will be officially leaving the tickling, sock, and foot fetish communities that I am a part of. Why? Simple. I'm bored, and I can figure out what else is going on in my head.
SO, for those who I've offended, I apologize, because I know I've offended quite a few people in the nine years I've been here.
If you want to keep in contact with me, you can email me at [email protected] if not, I could care less really. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to write a letter to a certain girl who I've loved for a long time, and greatly hurt. Bom Dia Baby.
It starts out pretty simple for me, and probably for all of us.
But let me explain my whole approach to it though.
For me, it is about power. But not the idea of power as in domination of one particular gender over another, as I am an equal opportunity tickler. However, I do not enjoy being tickled myself. I am literally sickened by the thought, not fearful of it, merely sickened, revolted even.
For me the joy is in how much I can exert my power over the other individual. Be it male or female. Struggles and the thrill of the hunt. And yes, I enjoy it immensely, otherwise I'd not have a "Fetish," which is actually for me, more of a fixation on it.
In fact my stories are often a prime example of my own inner workings of the whole tickling thing.
So, I remember the first time I was tickled by someone I did not know. It was the first day of pre-kindergarten. We were playing duck duck goose, and the teacher for some stupid reason, snuck up behind me, and tickled the crap out of me.
Now, I didn't have much of a reaction except for, "Hey, what the fuck? HAHAHAHA!" But, I internalized the whole situation. I was very vengeful, knowing myself I can only assume, but I didn't have the power to get the teacher back.
This also fostered a deep disgust of men that lay in my unconscious mind, revealing itself in my choice of friends. In every grade, I had at least two female friends, but no male friends until my second year of high school. I can associate with both genders just fine, and I'm quickly getting over this particular problem.
It was after this that my obsession with tickling actually started. In later grades, I felt a compulsion to mercilessly tickle the crap out of other people, and I always followed through. I particularly focused on males. Now that I look over it, it was most likely because of the fact that the teacher was a male.
Later on, I began growing an interest in females. But it wasn't until I was in high school, my most deprave time so far, that I began using every mental trick I knew and concocted to exert my own ticklish power over them. No female was safe at that time, adult women or underage girls. Even as I grew into college age, I still did that because of the power that I exerted. Not because I found females to be weak, I just believed, and depending on the strength one would be using, I knew, I was stronger. And no, the strength was not of physical power, but of mental.
This whole thing is also linked up with a situation of me not enjoying being touched by people. Because my own personal space was being violated, and as a result, in college I happened to delve into a bout of invading other people's personal space, without their knowledge and other such things. Anyone who has followed me on Youtube knows that for a fact. I literally made a little empire out of my anger about that. I got paid to fill a void of security that simply could not be filled unless I found the reason.
This anger and frustration often manifested itself in many ways. Me being a troll, me shooting off crazy threads and all kinds of god knows what else.
Which is part of the reason that on the fifteenth of April I will be officially leaving the tickling, sock, and foot fetish communities that I am a part of. Why? Simple. I'm bored, and I can figure out what else is going on in my head.
SO, for those who I've offended, I apologize, because I know I've offended quite a few people in the nine years I've been here.
If you want to keep in contact with me, you can email me at [email protected] if not, I could care less really. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to write a letter to a certain girl who I've loved for a long time, and greatly hurt. Bom Dia Baby.
