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Jewish Survivor

Feathery

1st Level Orange Feather
Joined
Oct 14, 2001
Messages
2,222
Points
36

CBS has announced it is working on a new reality series called
"Jewish Survivor."

Here's the premise: 16 Jews are put in a two-bedroom co-op on the Upper West Side of New York. Each week they vote out one member, until there is a final
survivor who gets $1 million (but placed into a trust that does not
vest until age 59).


The Rules:
1. No cleaning lady.
2. No use of ATMs or credit cards.
3. No food from take-out or delivery which specifically includes
Chinese food.
4. All purchases must be at full retail prices.
5. Women may not call their mother, men may not call their office.
6. Outside trips must be by foot, bus or subway. No limos, Town Cars
or cabs.
7. All workouts and exercise must be done in their apartment with no
workout machines.
8. Costco is off limits.
9. No playing of Jewish geography.
10. No NY Times or Wall Street Journal is allowed for reading. Only
the NY Post and NY Daily News are acceptable.
11. No reading Neiman Marcus, Sak's Fifth Avenue or Bloomingdale's
catalogs.
12. Only one phone line for all 16 members. No call can last more
than 3 minutes. No cell phones.
13. Maintenance problems must be resolved by the members, without
help from the super or any other gentile.
14. All therapy sessions must be suspended.
15. No consulting with attorneys.
16. No whitefish, lox, or bagels.
17. No antacids of any kind.


So far, there have been NO applicants....
 
I was fine until

rule 17. Why no antacids? That's just cruel. Without them my acid reflux breath would probably melt the face off of anyone who got too close.

The following is a true story:
Back in the 1980s a Jewish friend of mine got drafted and went into the army. On day 3 he reported for sick call.
When asked for symptoms, he pointed at his chest and said; "The fire went out!"
It turned out that after 48 hours of army food, for the very first time in his life, he did NOT have any heartburn!
 
LMAO 😛
Very funny joke, but it wouldn't make good TV watching. 😀
 
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