Just a Kiss?

[ticklehound]

Hey everyone,

I got something to share and I really couldn't go anywhere else. Ok, so two nights ago, me and my friends were out for drinks and other shenanigans. It was supposed to be a quiet night, a few rounds, and even more laughs. Well, long story shorter, I ended up that night kissing one of my best friends in the entire world. And the funny thing is, we were both flirting with different people for most of the night. But in the end, as we were about to go our separate ways after last call right outside the bar, it was a total lip lock. Luckily, I stopped before any of our colleagues saw us - (we're both private people who don't want to start gossip). There's no telling what would have happened if we were behind closed doors.

Now, a few things you should know: 1) I don't kiss a lot of girls very often, regardless of my or her state of mind, and 2) She has been known to be the very opposite. Not to random people, but to people she knows. But I never imagined she'd ever kiss me. More importantly, I dont think she did either, because we are such good friends.

When I talked to her about it the next day, she said she couldn't believe she kissed me back (she said I tried to kiss her first - to be honest, I can't say for sure if that's true or not). She thought she ruined our friendship and stuff. She says to her, a kiss is just a kiss; that she loves to be "all kissy", especially with someone she likes (not necessarily "like like" to put it in kiddy terms), but she's aware its awkward with most people and can give a tremendously wrong message.

For me, it was wonderful! It was great to be free for a few seconds and not have to worry about anything. I didn't feel the so-called "spark" and I dont want to have a relationship with her. We've both had our share of bad ones and we just looking for companionship. Do you think it's possible to have such a relationship where you can be that affectionate and not have emotional attachments? I'll be dead honest with you, I simply want to kiss her again. Period. I thought such a thing was a myth, but here's a girl, my best friend, who wants companionship without all that other crap.

This is just the kind of thing I would have talked to her and only her about, but obviously, I can't quite do that. I just wanted to get that out. Thanks for listening.

 

[MrPartickler]

FWBs

ahh...the elusive "friends with benefits" relationship looks like what you're seeking....and are apparently fairly close to obtaining. Nice! 😎

I think such is possible--for a finite amount of time at least. In my limited experience, it seems like it only works as long as things remain <i>verrry</i> controlled, predictable and, most importantly, balanced. No one can "secretly" be jealous of the other person, or "secretly" want more from the relationship than the other is willing to give. Also, both have to be completely understanding and open if/when another relationship forms and (potentially) terminates the whole FWB situation.

That's not exactly a common set of random variables to "happen" to line up for any great length of time, IMHO. So I say, if you and her are already pretty open with each other, and you wanna give it a shot while all the stars are aligned (lol), just ask her if she ever thought about it and go from there.

 

[ticklishbbw]

Re: FWBs

I think such is possible--for a finite amount of time at least.

I totally agree with what MrPartickler says above. A friends with benefits relationship can be great, for a limited time. I've had more than my share of these, but if it goes on to long, one of you will probably get attached, and jealousy will begin to appear. Somebody usually gets hurt, and/or you lose the friendship altogether. So if the friendship means a great deal to you, you may want to keep it platonic (no physical contact). However, sometimes it's hard to go back..even if it was just kissing.

Just my 2 cents
tbbw

 

[tommytikl]

Personally, I have had many friends who were girls and we were very close(Still have close female friends). However, personally, we never got to the kissing part, maybe cheek kiss hello but not lip kiss. It gets sticky quickly if you aren't careful.
The balance is the hard part and keeping it balanced is harder.
Like MrPartickler and ticklishbbw have stated, jealousy can rear its ugly head. That is the thing to be careful about. You have to ask yourself occationally in the friendship a few questions.
First is this friendship stopping you from persuing a permanent "girlfriend" for lack of a better word, that is a sign of the green monster showing its ugly head.
Second, if you do see her kissing another guy, does that set of the jealousy pangs.

Just a few thoughts.

I hope it works for you.

 

[ticklehound]

Thanks for replying. I really appreciate the input. OK, like I said, we were both flirting heavily with someone else for most of the night. In fact, I ended up going out with my flirt later that week, while my friend was pursuing someone herself. And we both have talked about our dates with each other - so I don't think we have any real attachment to one another. In other words, we don't see "white picket fences" with each other, so I think it might work. I think I'm gonna have to be the one to step up with this "modest proposal (?)" Plus, she said I was a "very very good kisser" so I guess I got that going for me, which is nice.