Hey guys, hoping for some friendly advice here. Yesterday afternoon I got a call at my job, and it was a police officer and he was at my stepdad's apartment and they said that they found him dead. He had been there for 2 days and no one knew. I tried calling him, but since he wasn't feeling well, (he had a bad cold) I didn't suspect anything when he didn't answer the phone. His work got concerned when he didn't come in Monday or check in by phone (he's a partner at a brokerage firm) so they called the police. I sat with my dad's body for a while, talking, I know it sounds wierd but it gave me some kind of closure. I know he was only my stepdad, but he raised me and my brother and sister, and we called him Dad, even though our real Dad is still alive. But we had very little contact with our real dad after he and my mom divorced. I just feel so alone now. I think about the Conway Twitty song "that's my job" and I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He was such a good man who loved us so much, even though we weren't his birth kids, and he loved his grandchildren and his nieces and nephews and he was such a good friend to everyone. Any advice is greatly needed, and thanks for letting me ramble, I needed it.
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Just lost a family member
- Thread starter maureen28
- Start date
first of all, i'm truly sorry for your loss..when my father passed away, i was there..and after he died, i sat and talked to him...i understand completely what you are going through..feel free to pm me anytime..
I wasn't there when my dad died. I never even saw the body. Just an urn with his ashes at the funeral.
I suppose in a way, you're lucky to have been able to see him one last time, even though it most likely wasn't the best sight to behold. And talking to him wouldn't be wierd or anything -- closure is closure, no matter how you get there. 🙂
I suppose in a way, you're lucky to have been able to see him one last time, even though it most likely wasn't the best sight to behold. And talking to him wouldn't be wierd or anything -- closure is closure, no matter how you get there. 🙂
Maureen , I'm sorry that you lost someone so close to you . He sounds like a wonderful person , and though he was your stepdad , he's as much a loving part of your life as any can be . It was a blessing that he came into all of your lives and his love for you and your family will always remain .
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I'm so sorry for your loss!
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. Doesn't matter if he was your birth father or your step-dad... he was your Dad.
I firmly believe things happen for a reason. Often we don't know the reason behind it for a long time but we eventually figure it out. I bet your dad, or God, decided you didn't need to be there when he passed. It also could be that your Dad - somewhere in his soul - didn't want you to ever see him suffer. So he left at a time when you weren't around because he loves you.
Hopefully he went quickly and peacefully. Even though he has passed know that he will always be around you. I'm sure he heard you as you talked to him and somehow something will happen that will tell you he's still around and that he heard you. It might be the scent of his cologne or a gentle tap on the shoulder when no one is there.. He'll let you know he's still around. He's now your own personal guardian angel and he will always be there for you.
Both my parents have passed. Dad in 2001 and Mom in 2004. My brothers and I have all experienced something that lets us know they're still around us. Most recently, when my mom passed, it was something to do with one of her collection of Teddy bears that makes noises. It's strange but also fun knowing she's still around. Dad keeps playing tricks on us - so typical of him.
Don't question what you see, hear or feel. It's just confirmation that although the physical body isn't around, the spirit and personality of the person you love continues and thrives outside our world.
Keep talking to him - he's listening. He'll always be with you and will always love you. Nothing can every take that Love away.
And let the tears flow. I like to think of tears as Liquid Love.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. Doesn't matter if he was your birth father or your step-dad... he was your Dad.
I firmly believe things happen for a reason. Often we don't know the reason behind it for a long time but we eventually figure it out. I bet your dad, or God, decided you didn't need to be there when he passed. It also could be that your Dad - somewhere in his soul - didn't want you to ever see him suffer. So he left at a time when you weren't around because he loves you.
Hopefully he went quickly and peacefully. Even though he has passed know that he will always be around you. I'm sure he heard you as you talked to him and somehow something will happen that will tell you he's still around and that he heard you. It might be the scent of his cologne or a gentle tap on the shoulder when no one is there.. He'll let you know he's still around. He's now your own personal guardian angel and he will always be there for you.
Both my parents have passed. Dad in 2001 and Mom in 2004. My brothers and I have all experienced something that lets us know they're still around us. Most recently, when my mom passed, it was something to do with one of her collection of Teddy bears that makes noises. It's strange but also fun knowing she's still around. Dad keeps playing tricks on us - so typical of him.
Don't question what you see, hear or feel. It's just confirmation that although the physical body isn't around, the spirit and personality of the person you love continues and thrives outside our world.
Keep talking to him - he's listening. He'll always be with you and will always love you. Nothing can every take that Love away.
And let the tears flow. I like to think of tears as Liquid Love.
Redmage said:My mother died last Thursday, Maureen, so I'm there with you.
god Redmage... i'm so sorry..
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Maureen, Sorry to hear about your loss and I am sending my thoughts,prayers for you and your family that you become closer because of your stepdad suddenly passing .. Know that your stepdad is watching you from above and he is in a better place where he feels no sadness,pain and you may not think he listened to you when you talked to him when you spent awhile with him just talking,he did hear you and you are not alone..Pm me if you feel like chatting about anything at all,or just having an ear to listen,shoulder to cry on if you need it..
Condolances to you too Redmage, good thoughts,best wishes and hugs coming to you from west coast
Condolances to you too Redmage, good thoughts,best wishes and hugs coming to you from west coast
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My sympathies to you both, Maureen and Redmage. I lost my mom earlier this year and it does leave a hole. I thought of my mom today actually, since she loved watching the election night coverage and followed politics pretty closely. Spend time or correspond with family and friends...I found that their support (including my friends here) was of enormous value in the days following her death.
Sorry for your lost, I understand how you feel losing so many of my family members over the years.
You said “he was only a step father [according to your words paraphrasing] “ He took care of you and your brothers as if you were his biological sons. A father is not someone that shares the same DNA, he’s the one that been there for you, pushing you to be the best that you can be. You had a man like that in your life, so I consider you to be very bless indeed.
When, I lost my uncle it hurt me deeply, to see him laying on the floor of the bathroom for hours made me ill because I can’t do anything about it. But, I try to remember the good times we had and all he taught me.
You will miss him for years and he will come back to your remembrance but all the good that he done for you will be in your heart forever.
You said “he was only a step father [according to your words paraphrasing] “ He took care of you and your brothers as if you were his biological sons. A father is not someone that shares the same DNA, he’s the one that been there for you, pushing you to be the best that you can be. You had a man like that in your life, so I consider you to be very bless indeed.
When, I lost my uncle it hurt me deeply, to see him laying on the floor of the bathroom for hours made me ill because I can’t do anything about it. But, I try to remember the good times we had and all he taught me.
You will miss him for years and he will come back to your remembrance but all the good that he done for you will be in your heart forever.
maureen28 said:Hey guys, hoping for some friendly advice here. Yesterday afternoon I got a call at my job, and it was a police officer and he was at my stepdad's apartment and they said that they found him dead. He had been there for 2 days and no one knew. I tried calling him, but since he wasn't feeling well, (he had a bad cold) I didn't suspect anything when he didn't answer the phone. His work got concerned when he didn't come in Monday or check in by phone (he's a partner at a brokerage firm) so they called the police. I sat with my dad's body for a while, talking, I know it sounds wierd but it gave me some kind of closure. I know he was only my stepdad, but he raised me and my brother and sister, and we called him Dad, even though our real Dad is still alive. But we had very little contact with our real dad after he and my mom divorced. I just feel so alone now. I think about the Conway Twitty song "that's my job" and I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He was such a good man who loved us so much, even though we weren't his birth kids, and he loved his grandchildren and his nieces and nephews and he was such a good friend to everyone. Any advice is greatly needed, and thanks for letting me ramble, I needed it.
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