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Ladies: Advice for men regarding the "touchy" subject of tickling

MaleTickleeDC

TMF Expert
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This seems to be one of the neverending topics of TMF, so I thought I'd start an "official" thread on this subject.

One of the common complaints from men who are into tickling is that they have trouble letting their interest be known to women in a non-creepy way.

I thought that getting the ladies of TMF to weigh in on this with some tips would be helpful. Let's just keep this thread rolling so that it becomes a kind of handy "how to" guide for the men of TMF. The guys are encouraged to comment as well of course.

Here are my thoughts on the subject.

As my screen name suggests, I am predominantly a male lee. I now realize that I should never have chosen this screen name, as I tend to get messages and PMs both here and on other tickling sites from guys who assume that I must be into m/m. I am NOT into m/m at all. I only desire to be tickled by women. Anyway, the guys who contact me to find out if I'm down with talking tickling with another dude will often show a complete lack of tact or forethought. They will immediately jump right into asking me personal tickling questions without even stopping to find out if I'm even interested in talking tickling with them. It's very annoying.

Now, I'm a pretty normal guy, in the sense that I'm "easy," and I don't need to be wined and dined before talking sex and tickling. But given that even I'm creeped out by the way some of these dudes go about approaching potential lees, I can only imagine how many of the ladies may be creeped out by it. And that's especially true given that women spend every day being leered at by men on the street, at work, at the gym, etc, and thus have their guard up. So I imagine when some dude PM's them with a one-liner like, "Are your feet ticklish?" many women will just delete and move on.

So those are my thoughts. Any others?
 
I have never told any vanilla female that i have a tickling fetish, and never will. i will eventually however, make it known that i like to do some tickling just as a fun, playful thing.
 
Rule number one: Don't bring it up before the conversation topic turns to sex.

Rule number two: Don't be the one who desperately tries to bring to topic to sex!

It's easy! If the girl wants to have sex with you, sooner or later she will talk about it to you. At that point, unless she really hates to be tickled, she might at least want to try it. Before that point, there is no way you can bring it up without being awkward or creepy!
 
In regards to the PMs:
Yeah...how they go about it is pretty lame. But 2 factors go into this:
1) It's a tickling fetish site
2) The people who PM you only asking questions about tickling are probably never going to go out and meet you anyways-so they really don't care how they come across--they just want to get off on talking about tickling (and other 'on-line only' related things).
Ignoring them is the best solution--you won't get frustrated with their lack of conversation, and they will just move on to the next.

For the people who truly want to bring up the subject of tickling:
I like what TickleMyFancy said--if you don't make a big deal, the woman won't either. It's so true.
While tickling is a fetish and turns us on (most of us anyways)--it's not like you are asking the woman to, I don't know, poop into a bowl and then eat it. Now that is a topic I would think would be hard to talk to anyone about! But it's...tickling. Playful, harmless, cute tickling!
It's how far you take the subject of tickling that can get...dangerous.

Example 1: "Susie, we've been dating for awhile now and there is something I need to tell you. You see, I have a tickling fetish and you are just so cute when I tickle you. Do you think it would be okay if maybe we tried playing with that?"

Example 2: "Susie *staring at her feet* your feet are so pretty. I just want to tie you up and tickle you all day long."

[This is, of course, assuming you are talking to a vanilla girl. Because if you said Example 2 to me.. I would be like "Hell yeah-let's do it!"]

It's just you gotta bring it up casually. And then, if they do show interest in it, still take it slow. If you are into tickling while restrained--talk about it first. You can pretty much get a feel for if she absolutely hates it or loves it anyway.

And if you are talking to a non-vanilla person-or a girl with a tickling fetish-about tickling them...just don't bombard them with the typical questions:
"Where's your most ticklish spot?"
"On a scale of 1 to 10..."
etc..etc..
Talk to them. Get to know them. Don't make the whole conversation only about tickling. It's highly annoying.
 
In regards to the PMs:
Yeah...how they go about it is pretty lame. But 2 factors go into this:
1) It's a tickling fetish site
2) The people who PM you only asking questions about tickling are probably never going to go out and meet you anyways-so they really don't care how they come across--they just want to get off on talking about tickling (and other 'on-line only' related things).
Ignoring them is the best solution--you won't get frustrated with their lack of conversation, and they will just move on to the next.

For the people who truly want to bring up the subject of tickling:
I like what TickleMyFancy said--if you don't make a big deal, the woman won't either. It's so true.
While tickling is a fetish and turns us on (most of us anyways)--it's not like you are asking the woman to, I don't know, poop into a bowl and then eat it. Now that is a topic I would think would be hard to talk to anyone about! But it's...tickling. Playful, harmless, cute tickling!
It's how far you take the subject of tickling that can get...dangerous.

Example 1: "Susie, we've been dating for awhile now and there is something I need to tell you. You see, I have a tickling fetish and you are just so cute when I tickle you. Do you think it would be okay if maybe we tried playing with that?"

Example 2: "Susie *staring at her feet* your feet are so pretty. I just want to tie you up and tickle you all day long."

[This is, of course, assuming you are talking to a vanilla girl. Because if you said Example 2 to me.. I would be like "Hell yeah-let's do it!"]

It's just you gotta bring it up casually. And then, if they do show interest in it, still take it slow. If you are into tickling while restrained--talk about it first. You can pretty much get a feel for if she absolutely hates it or loves it anyway.

And if you are talking to a non-vanilla person-or a girl with a tickling fetish-about tickling them...just don't bombard them with the typical questions:
"Where's your most ticklish spot?"
"On a scale of 1 to 10..."
etc..etc..
Talk to them. Get to know them. Don't make the whole conversation only about tickling. It's highly annoying.

All of the above is definitely true. When you take the time to get to know the vanilla facts about someone it shows you're interesting in more than just the whole tickling aspect....it shows that you care about them as an individual because a huge part of the whole tickling experience is the level of trust and connection between ler and lee so good conversation goes a long ways ^_^
 
I would avoid the word "fetish" when it comes to vanillas. I feel like they see it as some kind of mental problem/obsession, or at the very least don't understand the word in the sense that we do.
 
--it's not like you are asking the woman to, I don't know, poop into a bowl and then eat it.

Wait a minute....this isn't the proper forum for that?? What the heck have I been doing here?

In all seriousness, I would assume that its a good time to bring it up when sex starts to be an issue. Just my opinion.
 
How this straight male 'ler lets a woman know he likes to tickle women

I tickle her.
 
So I'd say the golden rule is best described in The Office:

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>
 
Last edited:
So I'd say the golden rule is best described in The Office:

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>[/QUOTE]

Made me lol XD
 
So I'd say the golden rule is best described in The Office:

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

Can't.....stop.....watching!
 
Strangely I've never really had a problem mentioning my fetish to even any vanilla lady I am with. Granted I've not really been dating for awhile now, but that's just my choice to live single for now.
But it just never felt "creepy" for me to mention it. This is probably because I don't tell them something like, "I would love to tickle torture you till you cry!" whilst doing "the creep" dance. 😉
I simply just wait for a tickle to ever happen whether it be me giving her an innocent tickle or vice versa, and then I say something like. "I'm actually kinda into tickling." or "joke's on you cause I actually like being tickled."
Then I just leave it at that. If she inquires more then I'll enlighten more, but I won't keep trying to get her to talk about it with me.

If she's bothered or totally freaked out then obviously we wouldn't be that physically compatible.

When it comes to approaching anybody on the TMF...I just DON'T simply send a PM that's all. "How ticklish are your feet?"..."ur hot and I wanna fuk u!!! DEEERP! LOLZ!"... yeah that's an exaggeration.

I try to just get to know them or invite them to a local gathering or whatever.

So I'd say the golden rule is best described in The Office:

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/bVVsDIv98TA?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

Well yeah, but, what if you are an idiot. And what if you like doing the creep? Haah! Do the creep HAAAH! buuhhh, sorry.
 
I would try to gradually bring up the topic of tickling as a general topic just to feel the person out before disclosing that it's a fetish. I've tried blatantly bringing up my fetish to ex boyfriends and they off the bat didn't quite get it. So now I have learned that when dealing with a vanilla , one may have to tread lightly before telling certain things.
 
I recommend discussing what you like, not what you have, because it's clearer what you want. If you say "I love tickling you!" I completely understand that what you want is to tickle me, and I can react accordingly. If you say "I have a tickling fetish," even being on this website I don't know if that means you like tickling someone else or being tickled yourself, or if it even means the same thing to you as it does to me. That's where it gets awkward -- she's trying to figure out what you meant, and you interpret her hesitation as thinking negative thoughts about your statement.

Clarity and verbs. Definitely the way to go.
 
Yeah it is good to be specific and not so vague and general. I agree the statement "I love to tickle you and enjoy it" that or "I would love to tickle a woman-make her feel happy and feel good/loved-cared for-quite sensual and a major turn on for me"- sounds lot better-might be better received in general then just saying "I have a tickle fetish." In fact I would probably stay away from the word "fetish" it tends to have a negative connotation associated with it many times. I would advice to slowly test the waters-see even if there is attraction mutually between you, and then go from there. Make sure you have things in common besides tickling, other hobbies to build a mutual interest in-develop a friendship and go from there. Then when it is time after a brief bit of chatting and getting to know each other-around second or third date or so -then mention you enjoy tickling and go from there. Keep it general-probably not mention bondage first time-you don't want to scare your date-person you are dating or in a relationship with.
Then see how it goes-also find out what the person you are dating enjoys and finds a turn on-try to meet on a mutual ground-please each other. Hope this helps.
 
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