sole seeker
2nd Level Indigo Feather
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2002
- Messages
- 6,462
- Points
- 0
Everyone should have a living will. Here's the best form I've run across.
I, ___________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______whiskey with a splash of spring water
______the remote control
______scotch on the rocks
______sex
______a Margarita
______steak
______lobster or crab legs
______the sports page
______sex (intentional duplication - it's my favorite!)
It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________
NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a nursing home with a pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes! If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE send it to me.
My New Living Will
I, ___________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______whiskey with a splash of spring water
______the remote control
______scotch on the rocks
______sex
______a Margarita
______steak
______lobster or crab legs
______the sports page
______sex (intentional duplication - it's my favorite!)
It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________
NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a nursing home with a pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes! If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE send it to me.
