AffectionateDan
Verified
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Messages
- 8,115
- Points
- 36
Two West Virginia mountain boys, Jim and Bob, were sitting at their favorite
bar, drinking beer. They'd been best friends since childhood. Jim turned
to Bob and said, "Ya know whut? I'm tard of goin' through life without no
edjacation. Tomorra I thank I'll go down to the community college and sign me
up for some classes."
Bob thought that was a good idea, and the two of 'em left.
Next day Jim went down to the college and met the assistant dean of
admissions, who signed him up for four basic classes: math, English,
history, and logic. He said Jim would need those things to improve his
thinking.
"Wait a minute. Them others, I thank I know sumpthin' about but what is
this stuff, logic," asked Jim?
The dean said, "Well, listen and I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you probably have
a yard."
"Why, that's true! I do have a yard!"
"Wait, I'm not done," the dean said. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would probably have a house."
"Yessir, I do have m'self a house."
"And because you have a house, logically, I think you might have a family."
"Yep, I got me a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a
wife."
"Shoot, yeah, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"Heterosexual? What's that?
"That's just a man who likes women and isn't a sissy."
"That's amazin' -you're able to find out all of that stuff just because I
got a weed eater."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shook the dean's hand and left to meet
his ol' buddy Bob at the bar and tell him all the great news.
He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English,
history, and logic.
"Logic?" said Bob, "What the hell izzat?"
Jim says, "Well, here, I'll show you. You got a weed eater?"
"Nope."
"Damn, yore queer aintcha, Bob."
bar, drinking beer. They'd been best friends since childhood. Jim turned
to Bob and said, "Ya know whut? I'm tard of goin' through life without no
edjacation. Tomorra I thank I'll go down to the community college and sign me
up for some classes."
Bob thought that was a good idea, and the two of 'em left.
Next day Jim went down to the college and met the assistant dean of
admissions, who signed him up for four basic classes: math, English,
history, and logic. He said Jim would need those things to improve his
thinking.
"Wait a minute. Them others, I thank I know sumpthin' about but what is
this stuff, logic," asked Jim?
The dean said, "Well, listen and I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you probably have
a yard."
"Why, that's true! I do have a yard!"
"Wait, I'm not done," the dean said. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would probably have a house."
"Yessir, I do have m'self a house."
"And because you have a house, logically, I think you might have a family."
"Yep, I got me a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a
wife."
"Shoot, yeah, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"Heterosexual? What's that?
"That's just a man who likes women and isn't a sissy."
"That's amazin' -you're able to find out all of that stuff just because I
got a weed eater."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shook the dean's hand and left to meet
his ol' buddy Bob at the bar and tell him all the great news.
He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English,
history, and logic.
"Logic?" said Bob, "What the hell izzat?"
Jim says, "Well, here, I'll show you. You got a weed eater?"
"Nope."
"Damn, yore queer aintcha, Bob."
