Lonely in Denver. Any advice for making friends on the TMF?

[denver_tickler]

So, I've been a member here for a little over a year and a half. I've participated in the threads where I felt like I had something to contribute. I've tried the chat out a few times, but usually leave after I say "hi" and no one responds. I've sent PMs to people on occasion when it seems like we have similar interests or wanted to take a conversation outside of a thread... Yet, I still haven't made a single friend on this site.

I'm not very good at making new friends in real life either. Not that I'm unfriendly or unkind or anything like that... I'm just a fairly private person and I tend to put most of my energy into my current friendships rather than seek out new ones. Having a pretty unhealthy case of social anxiety doesn't seem to help with that either... I thought it would be easier to meet people on-line (specifically on the TMF), especially since I know that we all share at least ONE common interest on here, but my poor social skills seem to extend to here as well.

I've seen people join up and almost instantly hit it off with the community. Within months, they've made over a thousand posts and seem to be on a first name basis with everyone. I'm envious of them.

I think part of my problem is that I don't mix the TMF and my real life at all. Since I'm not open about my fetish with anyone outside of the TMF, I do my best to not reveal much about myself here in a public and google indexed forum to avoid being "found out".

So, with that in mind, can anyone on here offer up some advice that would help me make some friends on here? All responses will be appreciated. 🙂

-DT

 

[kered]

Just keep doing what you just did. To be understood you have to share a little of yourself, then people will respond with bits of themselves back to you. I myself am more outgoing than guarded but I do have a few things that don't need to be made public. I keep these things to myself and only a very few here know them. It all boils down to trust I suppose.

So you keep typing whether making threads or responding to them, because we are basically all the same here. And give people here a few more tries.

 

[Bugman]

What Kered said.Also,you might find this link useful.


http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=134630


And feel free to shoot me a pm anytime.I will tell ya that the advice you get will be worth what i charge,which is nada.😉

 

[kilitiinko1]

I`m going to echo the responses of MY friends,Kered and Bugman.The best thing you can do to meet people here is to just be yourself and have some fun.Post on threads that appeal to you,and start threads such as this one.I`ll agree,chat can be an interesting place ,but if you are patient and respectful,you`ll have many friends before you know it.

Like you,I`m a bit hesitant to reveal too much about myself here on-line where anybody can see it,but I also realize that most people here are in the same boat.I have no problem PMing with people or chatting and revealing a bit about who I am.There really are a lot of wonderful people here who I consider to be friends.Take a chance and get to know some of them.You won`t be sorry!

 

[xionking]

^^^
What these two badass mofos said, denver_tickler.

Alternatively, just read my twisted posts and I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting involved. I'm sure you won't have trouble quickly making friends either!

-Xionking

 

[Sandrock74]

I joined back in 2001 but have spent a lot of time confined to the art section here (not that there's anything wrong with that!) or lurking. I've recently made it a point to post frequently and get involoved in discussions.
I now routinely get PM's from people about a variety of topics and I am going to my first gathering next month. That's a big step for me from just 6 months ago!

My advice is this...keep posting. Be TALKATIVE. Get to know others AND share a part of yourself. I get made fun of a lot (just ask kered) and there was even a thread I started in which I was called a "nerd" non-stop by everyone. It happens. But I feel more "one of the gang" than I ever have. When I listen to a TMF Radio show, everyone greets me in the chatroom, which always makes me feel nice. It's more fun around here for me nowadays.

Eventually, you'll have to make that big scary leap and think about attending a gathering. That is a whole other topic, but something to keep rattling around in your brain.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Another great way to get plugged in is to
participate in the TMF Radio chat. The
shows are on every night (except Sundays)
at 11pm est. www.blogtalkradio.com/tmf-radio
You just need to sign up for a screenname in
order to participate in chat. I've seen many
newbies and lurkers come out of their shells
by hanging out at TMF Radio. 🙂 Hope you
find your place here!

Amanda

 

[Frowg]

Denver

Hey DT,
I live in Denver too, and the tickling scene here is like so dead, there are not even crickets chirping, so I sympathize with ya... I have found that people on here are generally friendly though, and to make friends, just post. Post about anything, it doesn't matter, just don't offend anyone. As far as finding friends, send me a message on here, and I'll drop ya my cell number. I'm a straight dude, so ya prolly don't wanna tickle, but I gotta lotta friends in town, and we hang out pretty good, so I'm told.

 

[Dialon]

Heh im new here too. Oh at least you live in a nice peaceful place (as far as ive heard) lol.
I am stuck in columbus, probably one of the most annoying places to live.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I don't mix my real life and the TMF either. Like everyone said, just keep posting, talking, etc. There are some people that I see all over the place like Sandrock, who I thought had a bajillion feathers but it seems he really only has 700 posts. He ran this place once. It was epic fail all over but he still tried.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Hello there Lonely in Denver. My name is ticklebunny 2. I have been a member here on the forum for quite a long time-about 5 yrs or so who is keeping count lol joined here in 2002. I know what you are saying. It can be totally very frustrating and totally aggravating when you post or u pm and don't get no replies; that or you get a few but not many replies and no real big time friends outside the internet-outside the forum pm box.

So I know what you are saying.

I understand what you are saying. And I have felt your pain lonely in denver, I am sorry that the forum so far has been not a real good time for you. That is very sad and really sorry to hear that. I send my condolences to you on that, sorry to hear that. I understand what you are saying; it does seem like some new members can just log on and suddenly wham out of no where first name basis-fit in like a glove with hardly no effort LOL

I know what you are saying there, felt that way very much in high school too. I never really fit in with the crowd. I always tended to stand out from the crowd. I was different and unique and generally did not do or think the way the crowd or the popular crowd or did not think like my peers did. That doesn't make me bad then and it doesn't make me bad now. It doesn't make you bad -just shows you are different and unique and special nothing wrong with that. but I feel what you are saying.

My advice to you: stay true to yourself, find and claim who and what your true self is and don't be afraid to claim and seize your true self-true self expression and don't be afraid to seize your true happiness. Yes it is great if you can make friends along the way in life when you have major decisions you must make in your life and great when you can pals to share your true happiness and joy with-nice to do what you can -say and do what you can to help bring joy to others and to help win their approval and acceptance and friendship but in the end you got to do what is right for you.

If you being a private person is really who you are and you are truly very much a introvert at heart and not really a extrovert; then by all means don't try to minimize or feel bad or try to deny or bury your true self-if your true self is that you are a introvert foremost at heart-a extrovert maybe second when you get to know others and feel emot secure and feel emot safe and feel it is ok to reveal the outgoing extrovert side.

Also just stay who you are, don't change for no one-hold true to what is in your heart and hold on to your values and priorities. Be friendly, be social when you can and when you feel comfortable chatting with others; whether on chatroom or in pm if that is what makes you feel comfortable. If public comments on forum don't make you feel comfy don't do that, do what makes you feel good and makes you feel at ease and makes you feel comfortable emotionally.

Keep being nice, friendly, reply every once in while to a thread or post that you find interesting or neat or something that catches you. Keep being a great person-say good nice things and compliments to others if you wish to and feel comfortable with doing that-compliment when you feel like it and if you like something about a person.

Lots of people love compliments that come from the heart-that alone with a friendly personality, kindness, and a smile-being there for others-can
do wonders and if you do that-you will make friends, true friends in no time. Find, define, and claim what will make you happy and what gives you great joy and great emotional peace-makes you content and run with it...keep the faith my friend. Just know I am here for you and if you would like to chat or a friend to listen I am here for you lonely in denver. Hope things improve and get better for you. Have a great day and hope what I said helps. Pm anytime if you like love to hear from you and keep me posted on what happens...if this helps. Hugs to you.