Longest you've been single

[mcmunagle1]

Here's a self loathing question. What's the longest you have been single for, single as in not dating or anything? Its been around one and a half years for me, is that oddly long?

 

[NicholasA1]

A year and a half isn't oddly long where I'm from. Though different cities tend to have dating scenes that are better or worse. I have been single for three years now. I think that is too long. Then again, I don't stand a chance until I move to the Washington DC area or Maryland or Pennsylvania or somewhere. I currently live in the south, where people get married at 17 to their cousin. I haven't met a single good person here. Just human trash.

 

[Mash]

Five and a half years between my High School girlfriend and my current girlfriend.

That's not counting the first fourteen years, of course.

 

[Beckers1]

Around 2 years when I was a teenager. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. Better to be single and happy with yourself than being with someone who doesn't make you happy.

 

[Jaynin]

Try eight years.

 

[likeasong1]

Depends on when it starts "counting". I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 22. THAT felt like a fucking eternity. And sorry Beckers, I can't agree with you. It may not be mentally healthy, but for some people being "single and happy" isn't even a paradox... it's a flat-out contradiction in terms.

 

[Mash]

Depends on when it starts "counting". I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 22. THAT felt like a fucking eternity. And sorry Beckers, I can't agree with you. It may not be mentally healthy, but for some people being "single and happy" isn't even a paradox... it's a flat-out contradiction in terms.

Those people don't know what it's like to be in a truly miserable relationship.

You've got to learn to be happy with yourself. Otherwise, nobody's going to look to you for a healthy relationship. In terms of relationships, desperation never, ever leads to anything good.

 

[likeasong1]

Those people don't know what it's like to be in a truly miserable relationship.

You've got to learn to be happy with yourself. Otherwise, nobody's going to look to you for a healthy relationship. In terms of relationships, desperation never, ever leads to anything good.

I was going to say the only way I could be "single and happy" is if I'd just gotten out of a "truly miserable relationship". As yet, I've never been in one. But being single for your entire first 20 years is going to make it a little hard to be happy with yourself. That doesn't necessarily equal desperation either, though. I've been hit on by girls in the past whose general vibe I got from them was "stay the fuck away". And from the world of online dating, I've found plenty of people that even behind the curtain of anonymity, I'll never be desperate enough to go for any of them. So I don't think the "desperate" label applies to me. That said, "single and happy" is pretty much mutually exclusive for me, because being alone/lonely (alonely?) just sucks that much.

 

[maddocter1]

2 years

 

[Mash]

Well, the first step of being happy with yourself is not giving so much weight to the opinions of others - particularly people you don't even know.

I know the train of thought that leads to the single and unhappy part. It sucks being alone all the time, and it also sucks feeling like nobody wants you. These are just things you have to live with, though. At any rate, there are many ways to make yourself feel less lonely. Friendships. Team-oriented activities. Forums. Online gaming. As for the latter, you just really have to put less stock into other people's opinions. They're just opinions. That have quite literally zero objective value.

 

[likeasong1]

Well, the first step of being happy with yourself is not giving so much weight to the opinions of others - particularly people you don't even know.

The opinions of those I don't know have never bothered me. But the ones you know, and especially you care about, yes you should care, even if you lessen their weight.

At any rate, there are many ways to make yourself feel less lonely. Friendships. Team-oriented activities. Forums. Online gaming.

Ersatz substitutes. Even friendships only go so far, especially if you're one of those people who get trapped in the "friend zone" with the gender you're trying to get with.

 

[TKLVR181]

I was single for 20 years 'til I met my husband, with two exceptions that lasted less than a month each 🙂

~K

 

[Kocho-kun]

hmm let's see.... how many years ago was i born...? >w<

 

[Smoten]

I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 25. We went out for 8 months or so and were off and on again for a few months after that. I was pretty miserable through out most of the relationship, but I was willing to fight heart and soul to make things work out. Long story short, they didn't and in all honesty, I'm rather glad they didn't. Love had blinded me to the rottenness that was clearly inside her. The sheer amount of verbal and emotional abuse I had endured has made me a stronger person and I now know that I don't have to stand for that the kind of shit.

I've been single ever since, but then again, the past couple of years has been kind of a depressing blur to me. I'm much happier now though. I have two jobs that I absolutely love and I have the rest of my life to look forward to! I know I'll meet someone, someday and I know we'll make each other very happy, but until then I'm just gonna continue being awesome!

 

[TheTickleMonster]

10 years.. yep, I think I win.. 😛

 

[Rainbow Star]

I'd say about 4 years after breaking it off with my then-high school sweetheart after learning that she had been sleeping around behind my back with multiple partners. Struck a really big blow to my self esteem and made me afraid to try and find love with another. But now that I got my baby beside me, I wouldn't trade what I had to go through those years for anything <3