There are several points in your post that I find very disturbing!
First: the fact that you are "working on cumming", "needing to learn to cum". The harder you try, the less you will succeed! Orgasms seem to run away if you are trying to force them. You have to relax, enjoy, let yourself go! THAT is what makes you cum! And there is no way that you can "learn" to cum from certain sexual things - if they don't arouse you to the point that will make you orgasm, you simply won't reach a climax.
Second: You say that it turns your partner off when you enjoy something! Who told you that this is what a sadist does?? Sadists seek pleasure as well in their sub's enjoyment, just that the methods vary from other people! Do you really, REALLY want to be with someone for the rest of your life that gets turned off by your enjoyment!?
Third: The Net ***** stuff. Don't do it. You already said it might be unhealthy for you, and if you already have that feeling, it certainly will be! Love making, especially in a new relationship, shouldn't be a forced thing. It can ruin everything.
