I do find that I do indeed have a love/hate relationship with tickling. I mean I do really love and adore to be tickled-however it can be super tough for me to let myself be physically vulnerable like that-it can be very intense for me not just physically but also emotionally. I at times don't like/at times must confess hate being vulnerable-especially feel even more at a ler/switch's mercy when bound and restrained-not able to get away-when tickled or even when not restrained and tickled, also this really being the case if playfully tickle wrestled to the bed or floor or playfully gently pinned on my side, ler behind me tickling me-that is intense or even laying on side tickling me-still very intense. It makes me squirm and wiggle and go crazy.
Yes I do love to be tickled however at the same time while I love and enjoy being playfully and gently tickled slowly sometimes fast depending on mood of session-I at the same time am badly wanting and needing the session to stop and end-tickling to stop-because I am so very ultra sensitive skin wise and so very ticklish. I can't take much intense tickling-I can only gently take so much tickling on my feet, tummy, ribs, and sides, oh and the back of my knees and back of my legs other than if not I will go hysterical and wiggle and thrash and squirm and beg to be released giggle and laugh like mad and squeal. I can't help it.
So it is kind of a love/hate relationship-while I love to tickle and love to be tickled -really rough for me to take the tickling for too long of a time. There is a part of me fiercely struggling and resisting, wanting to fight the ticklish sensation and keep my composure, not lose control, not surrender my will to the ler on being tickled, not wish to be vulnerable. However another part of me that yearns and craves to be tickled and playfully persuaded and gently playfully "forced" to endure the tickling. If that makes sense. So part of me that hates the vulnerability of being tickled and part of me that loves being tickled.
I love to keep my composure and I do not like, and I sadly hate losing my composure, not something I like. I like when I am in control, while it can be fun to be tickled a trust blast-feel great when tickled and wonderful-a ultimate wonderful thrill and an adrenaline rush-at the same time-very difficult for me to surrender to the ler/switch-makes it very rough for me to enjoy and savor the ticklish sensations and playfulness of the moment. I try my best to try to surrender to the ler/switch but sometimes that is not really easy and sometimes it just can't be done. So yeah I can understand and totally relate to the love/hate relationship with tickling. That is me.