I'm actually glad to see a longer piece. At a little over 10,000 words it's past short-story length and into novelette territory. This is not at all a bad thing - I find the glut of very short stories on TT to be frustrating, myself.
The "craft" aspect of the writing is really good. It need some polishing, of course, but the foundation is solid enough that polishing can really make it shine. The changes than need to be made there are more a matter of advanced work, rather than fixing the basics.
The "story" aspect is also a good workmanlike job, but I find that it lacks pizazz. Part of this is a matter of my personal tastes: I prefer fantasy & science fiction, or at least something more exotic by way of settings. You've got a mainstream setting, which is exactly what some people want, but I find that it could use at least a touch of added glamor. It could be saved by superior description, or by throwing (fictional) money at the problem - make Matt's promotion be from a 6-figure salary to an even higher 6-figure salary (or even higher), and describe the clothing, housing, restaurant etc. to match this. Or Matt & Steve could be working in an industry that's somehow made out to be somehow different/more interesting/more glamorous than the Generic Company.
The story also is in danger of readers invoking the Eight Deadly Words ("I don't care what happens to these people") The story needs to do a better job of getting readers to care about Matt, Kate, and Steve, and what happens to them. And then the story needs to leave the readers satisfied about how they end up - currently it has a "to be continued" feel to it.
So my advice is: 1. Polish the writing - your writing is well worth working on. 2. Weave in more description and do so more subtly. Describe the telling details, the parts that aren't generic, and leave the generic parts to the imagination of the reader. 3. Give the readers reason to care about what happens the characters and to be satisfied about how things end up for the characters at the end of the story.
