Yay!
I think I am the same way until I am comfortable with the tickler. I don't have a myriad of experiences to draw from but I've noticed that as a lee I feel pressure to react. When this "pressure" goes away, I laugh hysterically. I know that I do this to myself.....but it is what it is! I'm with you though, I still love the tickling even if I am just squirming and enjoying the intimacy of it all.
I came to realize that I don't usually laugh either, and it took me awhile to realize why. For me, laughter is a nervous thing. As long as I'm still mobile, I don't usually laugh, I just squirm and buck. It's when restrained that I laugh because I have nothing else to do.
Okay, I know this thread is almost two years old, but I really wanted to update without starting a totally new thread, and being that I started it anyway, I figured that it needed a good finishing update.
Basically, the two people that I quoted here hit the nail right on the head - it wasn't that I naturally didn't laugh, it was that I, for some reason, was uncomfortable with my laugh - I really always have hated my laugh, so now, I definitely think that was the source of the problem. I think I even said something along those lines earlier in this thread. Well anyway, last night something amazing happened, and for whatever reason, I finally got over my laughter issues (yes, it took me two years...) and laughed my ass off during a session, and it was the greatest thing ever! Before, holding everything in made the tickling "okay," but actually letting everything out and laughing made the experience 10x more enjoyable, and best of all, my 'ler - who isn't really into tickling as much as I am - says that my laughter makes it more fun and enjoyable for her as well, so it can last longer. I really look foward to more sessions in the future, now, because I was starting to think I'd NEVER get what I wanted out of tickling...
So, the moral of the story is this; if you find yourself in my situation, wanting to laugh as a reaction to tickling but not being able to because of nervousness, self-consciousness, or whatever it is, find a 'ler you can trust, someone you don't mind laughing in front of, and let it all out! If you need to, do it face down so that you can laugh into something like a pillow, if that makes you feel better about it - that's what worked for me! But by all means, get past those fears - you'll feel SO much better about it in the end.
Anyway, sorry for bringing back an ancient thread. Feel free to continue the discussion, and thanks to all who commented, to the ones who did and are still around!