Manisms

[chicago]

----

----

 

[Excess]

Interesting list, could swear I've seen it somewhere before. Hmmm...*thinking*

In any case pretty much all of these are true by me. And any guy that argues that these are not true, unless by VERY certain circumstances, is not a real man. Fact. That is all. 😎

 

[tkrexx]

You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

Wow, I just learned I really did have alot of girlfriends...

Rxx

 

[kered]

You forgot one Mairead. When putting anything together that requires tools, real men don't need the instructions.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Ah, yes.

Two incidents stand out...

One was at the corporate dining room my sister and I did the catering for fifteen years ago. One of the employees there was this friendly young guy who never made that significant an impression on me, just one of the people working there, in other words. I was doing my business at the urinal in the men's room, and he came in, and went to the urinal next to mine, gave me a friendly hello, and put his hand gently on my shoulder for just an instant. My whole being went cold...I considered it a pass. He felt the chill, and he went, "oh, God, I'm sorry..."

From that time on, he became very nervous around me, very concilliatory.

Another time was when I was working at a corporation then owned by a billionaire who has since gone into politics. As I was doing the aforementioned business in the men's room, one of my colleagues came in, and whilst we were both peeing, he wanted to expound on the never-ending right wing vomit that continuously obsessed him. What kind of asshole wants to start a political discussion while you're both peeing in a urinal? I said to him, "get the fuck away from me, and don't talk to me again today." He couldn't understand why I was being so unfriendly...

 

[HeavenlyTickle]

You forgot one Mairead. When putting anything together that requires tools, real men don't need the instructions.

Says he who couldn't figure out the time delay on his camera! 😛

 

[kered]

Says he who couldn't figure out the time delay on his camera! 😛

But I figured it out much to your delight, Miss Brahms. And in record time.

 

[toneus79]

29. When a woman cooks you an unedible dinner and says: "If you loved me you'd swallow it". It is then considered acceptable to say the same thing back to her, later in the evening.

 

[lk70]

29. When a woman cooks you an unedible dinner and says: "If you loved me you'd swallow it". It is then considered acceptable to say the same thing back to her, later in the evening.

oh, no you DIDN'T

 

[kered]

29. When a woman cooks you an unedible dinner and says: "If you loved me you'd swallow it". It is then considered acceptable to say the same thing back to her, later in the evening.

I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[Ethical Edward]

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

Whew! I thought I was wrong in this!

 

[MrPartickler]

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional....

I love this one! I don't even know when my buddies' birthdays are; they don't know mine. Everybody wins! 😀

 

[Ethical Edward]

.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

What about his mom is she's hot? Cuz I got a tale in the True Stories Section called Tickling a Drummer's Mom that may set a precident!

 

[sole seeker]

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(e) When she is using her teeth.

Laugh my freakin' ass off!

Good one, giggle.

 

[Avenger314]

30. Any injury or illness that is potentially life-threatening does not need medical attention and is trivial. Conversely, any injury or illness that does not result in blood loss or that in any way includes a sore throat is an emergency.

31. No man under the age of 40 is allowed to talk about any medical procedures they undergo. This restriction continues to the age of 50 for the case of prostate exams and 60 for colonoscopies.

32. No man is allowed to ask for directions. A trip that just happens to go into another state by accident is instead 'avoiding traffic.'

33. No man is allowed to publicly enjoy any of the following: Elton John, Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand, Kay Scarpetta, Celene Dion, or Hugh Grant.

34. All men are required to be turned on by lesbian porn but refuse to understand how anyone could find male-male porn to be arousing to anyone.

35. Every man under the age of 60 likes Family Guy. Anyone who does not is required to be shot.

36. If Indiana Jones 4 ever comes out, every man in existence is required to see it. No exceptions, including death. It's Harrison Ford!

37. Men are required to know the theme song of every show they ever watched up to the age of 14.

38. Every man who spent any part of 1986-1996 being in elementary school through higschool is required to know the 'Konami Code' and be able to input it flawlessly, on the first try, even while drunk.