Men are like.............

[Tamia78]

1. Men are like .. Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always ½ off.

8. Men are like........ Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ..... . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like... Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like..... Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

 

[kered]

At least we know how to use turn signals.

 

[Bugman]

AND paralell park. 😀

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very funny list, especially number 11. 😀

 

[kered]

And kill spiders.

 

[Tamia78]

And get rid of stupid clowns!

 

[Tamia78]

AND paralell park. 😀

Buggy, I can parallel park better than I park normally, dammit!

Kered, next time I see a spider, I'm calling you!

 

[NYvice]

Well...I feel I should speak up for my fellow man by saying:

At least we don't speak in MORSE FRIGGIN' CODE! LOL

Allow me to give an example:

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such a jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam

 

[Dianatklee]

Good list. #6 an #8 are my favorites.

 

[kered]

And get rid of stupid clowns!

They still watch you at night, Tamia!

 

[Mistress Aura]

Ahhhh, OMG!!! LOL

Oooo, I so want to smack you, I do, I really do-- except in all fairness, I can't. It's scary how many of these are actually true...!

Mistress Aura

At least we don't speak in MORSE FRIGGIN' CODE! LOL

Allow me to give an example:

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such a jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam