Avenger314
TMF Master
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2002
- Messages
- 893
- Points
- 16
Hi all,
Just thought I'd send out an update as my life is once again changing.
I'm 25 now. I've spent all my life in school. I was in a PhD program this year but semi-willingly withdrew to get more life experience. Just last week, I finally got hired for a job (I'd been searching for about 3 months). The new job is pretty good; salary and benefits, etc. It's as a contract analyst. The company is in Southwest Connecticut.
I just recently rented my very first 'place.' My first bachelor pad. (I've lived in a 6-bedroom house this year in Amherst, MA--but that's not the same thing). It's a nice place. My apartment is in Seymoure, CT. I'm hoping there are some neighbors there, as I know Connecticut is rife with ticklers. (and by 'rife' I mean 'has more than Rhode Island.')
So right about now I'm petrified. I've never worked at a real 'job' in my life. I've always been an academic, always been a student. Hell, I've never even lived entirely on my own before.
I look back now on what I've gained and what I've lost. The losses first, so I can end on a good note, I suppose. I've lost much of what I've labored to build. I strove for a PhD and couldn't pull everything together. I've lost many people I thought were friends, both in MA and RI. Some was due to problems, but most due to simple time and distance. I tried flitting back and forth between both places to keep all sets of friends, but in truth I lost many of them. I've lost money and I've lost time.
And, perhaps worst of all, I've lost my girlfriend. We were going to try to make a go of it, but we realized there were just too many negative influencers for it to realistically work. Distance is a killer. We looked ahead at the inevitable problems it would cause, the almost-certain worsening of the relationship, and decided it'd be better to end it before it disintegrated. It was the right decision, but still (like many important, difficult ones) still unpleasant. I miss her already; she's a strong and determined yet kind person, despite the many negative circumstances in her life. Farewell, and also fare well.
I feel like Amherst is going to be a fading dream very quickly.
Yet this time hasn't been entirely without gain. Certainly, I've gained knowledge and skills in the PhD program. I've gained independence: I lived away from home for the better part of a year, which I was concerned I wouldn't be able to do. I gained strength: I survived yet again despite my future and goals vanishing away from me. That which does not kill me, and all that claptrap.
Despite the fading of some friendships, I've gained some friends that I hope to stay in contact with for many years. And, many, many friends in RI as well that I hope we can still talk with. A buddy of mine lives in CT, as do a couple people I know slightly that I hope to get to know better.
I've of course gained a bona fide 'grownup' job, with a salary, and all that good stuff.
So here I am now, getting ready to depart on yet another life shift to something else. I have a few years now to think about what I want from life. And, of course, I'm praying that this one doesn't get screwed up on me. Wish me luck, people, I'm growing up against my will. If there's anyone near where I am in Western CT, let me know, it'd be good to have a friendly face in an alien land.
Just thought I'd send out an update as my life is once again changing.
I'm 25 now. I've spent all my life in school. I was in a PhD program this year but semi-willingly withdrew to get more life experience. Just last week, I finally got hired for a job (I'd been searching for about 3 months). The new job is pretty good; salary and benefits, etc. It's as a contract analyst. The company is in Southwest Connecticut.
I just recently rented my very first 'place.' My first bachelor pad. (I've lived in a 6-bedroom house this year in Amherst, MA--but that's not the same thing). It's a nice place. My apartment is in Seymoure, CT. I'm hoping there are some neighbors there, as I know Connecticut is rife with ticklers. (and by 'rife' I mean 'has more than Rhode Island.')
So right about now I'm petrified. I've never worked at a real 'job' in my life. I've always been an academic, always been a student. Hell, I've never even lived entirely on my own before.
I look back now on what I've gained and what I've lost. The losses first, so I can end on a good note, I suppose. I've lost much of what I've labored to build. I strove for a PhD and couldn't pull everything together. I've lost many people I thought were friends, both in MA and RI. Some was due to problems, but most due to simple time and distance. I tried flitting back and forth between both places to keep all sets of friends, but in truth I lost many of them. I've lost money and I've lost time.
And, perhaps worst of all, I've lost my girlfriend. We were going to try to make a go of it, but we realized there were just too many negative influencers for it to realistically work. Distance is a killer. We looked ahead at the inevitable problems it would cause, the almost-certain worsening of the relationship, and decided it'd be better to end it before it disintegrated. It was the right decision, but still (like many important, difficult ones) still unpleasant. I miss her already; she's a strong and determined yet kind person, despite the many negative circumstances in her life. Farewell, and also fare well.
I feel like Amherst is going to be a fading dream very quickly.
Yet this time hasn't been entirely without gain. Certainly, I've gained knowledge and skills in the PhD program. I've gained independence: I lived away from home for the better part of a year, which I was concerned I wouldn't be able to do. I gained strength: I survived yet again despite my future and goals vanishing away from me. That which does not kill me, and all that claptrap.
Despite the fading of some friendships, I've gained some friends that I hope to stay in contact with for many years. And, many, many friends in RI as well that I hope we can still talk with. A buddy of mine lives in CT, as do a couple people I know slightly that I hope to get to know better.
I've of course gained a bona fide 'grownup' job, with a salary, and all that good stuff.
So here I am now, getting ready to depart on yet another life shift to something else. I have a few years now to think about what I want from life. And, of course, I'm praying that this one doesn't get screwed up on me. Wish me luck, people, I'm growing up against my will. If there's anyone near where I am in Western CT, let me know, it'd be good to have a friendly face in an alien land.
