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My boyfriend and I need help

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Jul 2, 2009
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So I'm kind of unsure about what to do....I was blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who shares my fetish....but I feel our play sessions are just not what I've dreamed of. I know what I like and what I dont like...but how do I tell him without sounding totally mean, I dont want to completely take over.... he IS supposed to be in control after all...i mean, isn't that the point?

Another thing, he never lets ME tie HIM up. I wish he would just try it once, but he wont, and he's too strong for me to pin down. It really makes me sad sometimes that he wont just let me tickle him. Any advice?
 
My advice is this, with every relationship there should be a compromise. He must have some kink or fetish he wants you to comply with. You should just tell him to do it for you as a favor just this once.
 
My advice - have a candid talk with him on the matter and help you understand how you FEEL...make him see how he makes you feel. If he trully cares, he will want to find middleground on the matter and make you happy. Bottom line, communication in a relationship is EVERYTHING....don't wait until it becomes a problem 🙂.
 
My advice - have a candid talk with him on the matter and help you understand how you FEEL...make him see how he makes you feel. If he trully cares, he will want to find middleground on the matter and make you happy. Bottom line, communication in a relationship is EVERYTHING....don't wait until it becomes a problem 🙂.

that is the best way to to that!!!
 
So I'm kind of unsure about what to do....I was blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who shares my fetish....but I feel our play sessions are just not what I've dreamed of. I know what I like and what I dont like...but how do I tell him without sounding totally mean, I dont want to completely take over.... he IS supposed to be in control after all...i mean, isn't that the point?

Another thing, he never lets ME tie HIM up. I wish he would just try it once, but he wont, and he's too strong for me to pin down. It really makes me sad sometimes that he wont just let me tickle him. Any advice?

first off if he's open about trying new things, you can simply approach him with 'well, ive been thinking about new ways to try things. im curious about trying something like this...' doesnt hurt to try to explain things.

as far as him being tied, he needs to feel comfortable with the situation, obviously somethings holding him back.... honesty is the best policy.. just nicely ask sometime 'hey i was curious, if theres a reason you dont want me to tie you or if you just dont like it' see what he says......

good luck :peace:
 
About what you like and what you don't like - you have to tell him! He can't read your mind!

About him not letting you tickle him - have you asked him why?
 
So I'm kind of unsure about what to do....I was blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who shares my fetish....but I feel our play sessions are just not what I've dreamed of. I know what I like and what I dont like...but how do I tell him without sounding totally mean, I dont want to completely take over.... he IS supposed to be in control after all...i mean, isn't that the point?

Another thing, he never lets ME tie HIM up. I wish he would just try it once, but he wont, and he's too strong for me to pin down. It really makes me sad sometimes that he wont just let me tickle him. Any advice?

Here is something different. Write a "diary" notation of sorts and accidentally allow him to read it(see it)
 
So I'm kind of unsure about what to do....I was blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who shares my fetish....but I feel our play sessions are just not what I've dreamed of. I know what I like and what I dont like...but how do I tell him without sounding totally mean, I dont want to completely take over.... he IS supposed to be in control after all...i mean, isn't that the point?

Another thing, he never lets ME tie HIM up. I wish he would just try it once, but he wont, and he's too strong for me to pin down. It really makes me sad sometimes that he wont just let me tickle him. Any advice?

In my opinion, first off a relationship should be 50/50... If you can give it you should be able to take it as well. Him not letting you tie him up means that he likes to be in control, and nothing else matters, and it seems including your feelings. To put it bluntly, what this sounds like is a fetish that is on Fetlife that is called "Sit down, shut the fuck up and listen to what I am going to do to you." In my view that is no way to have a relationship.

You have wants and needs too and while no one should get their way all the time, yours should still be respected. He is your boyfriend, your partner in the relationship, NOT your dom, and so you need to gently let him know that.

Look at this way and I'll use myself as an example. When I write a story about a lee or ler here, I first ask them what they want and don't want to see in the story. I tell tham that answering the questions in the questionnaire is totally voluntary and that if they wish to leave some unanswered, then that's ok with me.

Their comfort, trust and security with me is a priority and a foundation with me from filling out the questionnaire, sending me pics, right through to the rough draft that I send them for changes and for posting approval. If they do want changes, I happily make changes. If they say no to posting, then it doesn't get posted.

Because all in all I totally and thoroughly repsect their wants, wishes and their respect as a whole. From what I can see here he isn't doing that with you, and if that isn't happening then it's time to make changes. If he refuses to make any changes to respect your feelings, then perhaps it's time to move on with someone else.

Andrea, your feelings should and must be a priority as that is the respect that is your right. Carrying on with a relationship/tickling relationship that is largely one sided in his favor, is no good for you and something has to be done.

Pc and/or pm me if you need to talk. Love you girl.​
 
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