My first post and a question for everyone

[Solace79]

Hi all 🙂

Let me introdude myself first off... I'm 24, male, from the Harrisburg PA area and have had a tickling fetish for as long as I can remember.

Here's my problem (and in many ways I sincerely hope I'm not alone here): At this stage in my life, I've pretty much come to accept the fact that this tickling fetish that I have is here to stay, and that as far as my getting married at any point, I'm pretty much going to *need* someone who is okay with tickling semi-regularly, if not someone with a tickling fetish themselves, unless they're okay with me having "tickling friends", which is a whole 'nother issue all its own.

I used to think I must be crazy or weird for having such a (dare I say) unique fetish, until I discovered on the Internet that I wasn't alone. So, how do you ladies and gents deal with this in relationships? Am I the only person who has trouble finding other people around them who are into tickling or am I just maybe looking in the wrong place?

I'm seeing someone right now who accepts the fact that I have this fetish and lets me tickle her from time to time but in no way does this truly satisfy my fetish in the long term. My last talk with her is actually what spawned this post. I don’t want my decision on marriage to be even partially based on a fetish that I have but as it stands, it seems to me that I'm going to have an empty hole in my life as long as I try to pretend that I can be happy never/rarely getting to tickle or be tickled for more than a few seconds at a time.

At this point in the post I hope you get the idea, and before I bore everyone to death I'm going to close this and hope I get some replies.

Thanks in advance,

Solace

 

[maverick83]

As far as introducing the concept when in a relationship, I wait...thankfully, tickling usually comes up in relationships all by itself. When it does, I let the girl know what effect it has on me.

I would say, don't hesitate to base your decision of marriage partially on this fetish, if it is important to you. Remember that just because a priority is not all that common does not make it any less important. If you find a relationship dissatisfying, for whatever reason, and allow it to go unresolved, it can likely be expected that there will be problems in the future. (Unless, like you said, if the priority cannot be satisfied within the relationship, something can be arranged which allows you to satisfy the priority outside the relationship.)

 

[MistressValerie1]

Yes, I agree totally with what Maverick said. I have seen too many relationships where one partner does not want to indulge the other, and the resulting tension usually ruins the relationship for both people.

It is better to wait and find someone who can share this most intimate and valid part of your life with you 🙂

Best of luck,

 

[Blackstar216]

I'll take the other side of this. I sort of have the same situation but you best believe I've never given a second thought as to what takes a priority. I have the best lady in the world. So what if she doesn't share my tickling interest. I don't know too many couples who have EVERYTHING in common. But we share commonalities in all of the important things in our lives. There are some things she's into that don't exactly float my boat the same way. But as long as we're both accepting of each other's likes, that's what counts the most! It's hard enough even trying to find a FRIEND in the world who accepts another's passion for tickling.
I'm not going to even THINK about leaving my girl because she always wants to get Chinese food and I dislike Chinese food.....or that I like to spend ALL of my fall weekends in front of the TV watching football games and she doesn't like football all that much.....So why then would I think about splitting because she's not into tickling like I am? Not me. I guess I'm of the stance that tickling is an INTEREST and not a life need.
I wouldn't try to influence your decision based on how I view it. But you did ask "So, how do you ladies and gents deal with this in relationships?" and that's the way I feel about it. She's the only one in the world (not online) who I've shared my tickling interest with verbally. Before net interaction (which helped me feel more comfortable about it), I never had any major problem living with my interest in private. And I wouldn't have any problem living the rest of my life that way so long as I have the best woman to share my life with.
I'll wind down but also maybe explore this. If she is accepting of your fetish but doesn't wish to actively participate, then make sure you discuss how you feel about it with her. Maybe if she knows exactly what it means to you, she will accomodate (especially if she's participating most as a tickler). If not, you might even want to discuss your participating in tickling with others outside of the relationship (gatherings, or finding a tickle-only friend to play with). One thing I learned in life is that you never know until you ask. She just might surprise you. If that doesn't go over, it probably does come down to whether you value her more or tickling more (since you did say it was a matter of *need*). Sorry so long. Peace.

 

[nessonite1]

It depends I suppose. Not everyone has the sort of relationship where you are deeply madly in total love with the person with every fiber of your being. If that's what someone has then their disinterest in your fetish shouldn't keep you from marrying the person. It would be downright tragic if something like that stood in the way of true love. In fact I'd be willing to bet that if and when a person DOES find that sort of relationship that they wouldn't even consider not merrying them because of any one particular issue.
Having said that...it IS important. And even if your partner doesn't necessarily share your hobby it is at least important that they take it seriously and make it a point to understand it. That's what being with someone is all about. I know what a monumental task it is to get someone who has NO fetish of any kind to understand what it is like to have one. Fortunately I was blessed with a partner who will indulge my 'lee side as well as be perfectly comfortable with me having friends who share my interests.
The quick answer is that there is no quick answer. Let your heart guide you basically. If the ralationship is right, then it's right. If you are considering letting the matter get in the way of a long term relationship then maybe there are other issues that you need to look at.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

All that I can say has already been said, all of the above. Remember, everyone finds their perfect match someday. Just watch for her. :happy:

 

[Kalamos]

... not to mention the degree of tk enthusiasm often dictates needs and solutions.

If the way you [Solace] like to tickle can be incorporated with normal sexual interlude, it's not really an issue.

If your tk-fetish substitues "vanilla" sex, then it might matter on your choice of mate.

Just keep in mind denial can lead to strain - and ultimately in breaking up. 🙂

My 2 dimes.


Reg's.

 

[Camel26]

Dear Solace,
I understand completely how you feel. I'm 21 and finally got myself into a relationship with someone I felt comfortable enough to share my particular fondness with...and my partner, in turn, chose to truly indulge me as much as possible! I lucked out, but i had to go through a bunch of losers to get this winner...keep your chin up--your ticklish lass is waiting for you to find her out there in the world! If you're ever venturing out of central PA toward either the Pittsburgh or Philly regions and feel like getting tickled, or reaching out and tickling someone else...you let me know!! Best of luck hon!!

Lotsa love,

Camel

 

[Solace79]

Camel I may very well take you up on that offer one of these days. 🙂

It looks like none of you have it any easier than me although a few of you seem to have gotten something akin to lucky. *grin*

All your input helped immensely, thanks for taking the time and for letting me know that I'm not alone with this.

At this point I think I'll do what I've been doing and just take things a day at a time.

 

[nessonite1]

If you do take her up on her offer please let your friendly neighborhood videographer know 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

 

[Faramir]

same as I said to you on the TMF board

not much I can add to what everyone else has already said dude...they have all pretty much covered it...so since I'm new here as well, I'll just add another welcome.

the only thing I can add that would be even remotely interesting, is that I was born in Harrisburg, (the area you said you are from) and lived in Middletown (yeah, everyone else...sounds so corny middle Amerika, I know, but that is really the name of the town) up until I ended 5th grade, then got dragged unwillingly to the HOLE of a city in I live in now....(jeez, talk about culture shock). I miss the 'ell out of PA, and the PA girl's...except for the Winter's, and the expense to live there. my large four-legged pet's would absolutely go nuts to be turned out on the lush greenery that abounds there.

nice to have someone from HOME on the board...!!! ...and 'ello to the person from Lancaster as well...are the Amish still driving the carriages there?

good gawd...it just occurred to me...I still remember the address of my old house in PA...!!!