Naked man charged with carrying a concealed weapon!

[asutickler]

Don't worry, it all turned out ok in the end. 😀

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

“You can’t get much more concealed than that,” Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

“When you’re talking about an awl or an ice pick and you’re dealing with somebody who’s fresh out of prison, it’s a weapon. That’s a stabbing instrument,” Horgan said.

It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

WTF!
😱 he hid a 6-in awl up his asshole!?!
OMG!

 

[Deadsea7777]

That's what I call an ass with a big hole

 

[Bugman]

All i can say is OUCH!!!!

 

[General Zod]

I see the weapon up front went off

 

[amalelee4u]

omg

i bet his parents were very proud

 

[venray]

Talk about packin'..... 😛

 

[kered]

I bet he walked funny.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

see, this goes to show that the Cavernous Ass Theory doesn't just work in video games.
Let me elaborate...
Ya see...anyone that's ever played any first-person shooter games, or various action games, remembers that the huge amount of equipment has to go somewhere...be it the handful of first aid kits to the huge Dark Matter BFG Cannon of Doom. where does it all go? simple! the ass of the characters also houses a secret pocket dimension that allows the game characters to store vast amount of items/weapons (where do you think Bond's hands go in N64's GoldenEye when he selects a different weapon?).
granted, Wanky McWankerson in Calli was in the beginning stages of figuring out the C.A.T...but the possibilities are endless!

now to lay off the soda and go to bed...

 

[Cav88]

whats an AWL?

 

[drew70]

Awl's well that ends well.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

an awl is a very sharp metal object used to make holes in thick fabric and leather. awls used for leather crafting often have a hole near the top that will hold thread or whatnot, turning it into a large needle of a sort.

 

[Illtcklu]

OMG!!!!!! I have never encountered a situation where I needed to be naked with a weapon, nay, a CONCEALED WEAPON!!! How does one get into this kind of situation????!!!

 

[cloudgazer2k]

OMG!!!!!! I have never encountered a situation where I needed to be naked with a weapon, nay, a CONCEALED WEAPON!!! How does one get into this kind of situation????!!!

HEY!! when you're masturbating out in the middle of nowhere, naked as a jay bird...you...you need to protect yourself the best way possible!!

 

[Illtcklu]

HEY!! when you're masturbating out in the middle of nowhere, naked as a jay bird...you...you need to protect yourself the best way possible!!

I stand corrected! Get it STAND?! 😛

 

[He-Man]

Awl's well that ends well.

I bet even with a sharp instrument, that he had trouble going and/or "cutting the cheese" AWL the time it was in there.

Hey, maybe that's why Porky Pig had trouble talking at the end of those Looney Tunes cartoons. lol "a-beh a-beh a-beh...That's AWL, folks!"

Well, at least everything came out okay.