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Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. What does this improbable fact have to do with plants in the house? Read on...
A couple in Sweetwater Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it warmed up it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had a heart attack! She covered him up and told him to lie still. Then she called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in. They wouldn't listen to his protests, so they loaded him on a stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa. One of the EMTs saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called the man next door.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. While relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted. The snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man upon seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife returned from shopping at the grocery store. She took a look at the scene and thought her husband was passionately kissing the woman. She whacked him in the back of the head with a bag of canned peas, knocking him out and cutting his scalp so bad that it needed twelve stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint. She saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She retrieved a small bottle of brandy from the kitchen and began pouring it down the man's throat.
The police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the booze, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. The cops were going to arrest them all until the woman explained how it all happened over a little green snake.
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered. When the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog. He startled the pup and it jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it. Unfortunately, the car smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes were noticed by other neighbors who called the fire department.
The rookie fireman riding the back of the firetruck started raising the rescue ladder before they even came to a stop. In fact, they were only halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires. This knocked out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. (But they did get the fire out.)
Time passed…
Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.
A week later the lady and her husband were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
That's when he shot her.
A couple in Sweetwater Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it warmed up it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had a heart attack! She covered him up and told him to lie still. Then she called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in. They wouldn't listen to his protests, so they loaded him on a stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa. One of the EMTs saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called the man next door.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. While relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted. The snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man upon seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife returned from shopping at the grocery store. She took a look at the scene and thought her husband was passionately kissing the woman. She whacked him in the back of the head with a bag of canned peas, knocking him out and cutting his scalp so bad that it needed twelve stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint. She saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She retrieved a small bottle of brandy from the kitchen and began pouring it down the man's throat.
The police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the booze, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. The cops were going to arrest them all until the woman explained how it all happened over a little green snake.
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered. When the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog. He startled the pup and it jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it. Unfortunately, the car smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes were noticed by other neighbors who called the fire department.
The rookie fireman riding the back of the firetruck started raising the rescue ladder before they even came to a stop. In fact, they were only halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires. This knocked out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. (But they did get the fire out.)
Time passed…
Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.
A week later the lady and her husband were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
That's when he shot her.
