New and looking for opinions

[KatHob]

Hi everyone, my name is Kate and I am brand new to the community.. and the scene. I started a new relationship this spring with a wonderful person who I have just recently found out has some pretty interesting fetishes. At first I was a little skeptical about all the things he was into, mainly because he was extremely secretive about his desires and I couldn't quite figure him out, he even went as far as denial and deception to hide his guises BUT luckily has opened up to me and taken me to places I never dreamed existed.

I am a newb at this but a complete enthusiast. His fantasies aside I have never felt a bigger thrill than while being tied up and tickle tortured, or even better being on the other side of things watching him frantically cry out. The only issues I have with this is how extremely inexperienced I am at all this. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to want to do something so badly but being absolutely terrified about the results.

So basically what I'm asking is.. is there any sort of beginners guide or trade secrets or tips to help me build my confidence and move along this awkward stage? I find the situation worsened by the fact that I am extremely ticklish on every part of my body and even the slightest touch can send me into hysterics while my partner is hardly ticklish at all?? I find feathers are too soft and my fingers can tend to be too rough. A brush on his bound feet seems to do the trick but I feel redundancy even in a single session seems to take its toll on the.. passion and excitement of the moment.

I really can't put in words how much this has improved my life. I am 23 years old and for the last few years was beginning to believe there was something wrong with me, I've had my share of experiences and have always been open to new things, but never found anything that held my excitement for very long. I've always been attracted to others and have always felt lust but never satisfaction, I just didn't understand why I wasn't enjoying sex as much as everyone else seemed to be. But with this, this is a brave new world for me so to speak. I have never felt so captivated and intrigued and every session spurns my desire further. I really feel like I have found my niche in this world.

So suggestions? Comments? Advice?

Thanks for taking the time to read!

CHEERS!

 

[Budweiserbob!]

Hey there Kate. I'm Bob, one of the forum staff here. Let me be the first to welcome you to the site and to our little community. 🙂

I think the closest thing you'll find to a beginners guide is a stickied thread we have here. It's a very well structured guide helping others gain the most from their tickling experiences. It touches on techniques, bondage styles, do's and don'ts etc. etc. so I think it's just what you need. 😛

Otherwise, think up some specific questions and I'm sure other members will give their advice and support. :super_hap

As for your current problem, I'd recommend involving some "build up" to the tickling. Make him anticipate the torment before going ahead and tickling him. Tease him and go for the attack but then bring it back. I'd also recommend some lotions and oils to heighten the senses. Most other members believe that works. That should make things more unbearable for him. 😉

I hope this helps, and yet again, WELCOME! :super_hap :super_hap :super_hap

 

[hazelf1]

HI Kate

Welcome to the site i'am glad you found out about the love of tickling, your in good company on here i hope you enjoy your stay.

If you blind fold your guy he won't know where your coming from so the suprise element creeps in, if you gag him he will expect the worst, somtimes telling the person in detail what you have planned works.

Don't over build it up or he may get dissapointed.

When you blind fold him try out some ice cubes, pits, feet, belly button.

 

[KatHob]

Hi and thanks for the responses! I read the thread you put out, that guy really knows his stuff, I'll definitely have to look into some of his tips ;-)

As for the build up and blindfolds, well I've personally only been the ler twice. The first occasion was.. awful.. I was really jittery and unsure and constantly need him to guide me along and finally when I found a ticklish spot on his body kind of just lost control and well.. he had a fairly decent bruise once I had finished. I was mortified. He of course assured me it was okay but if I thought i had confidence issues before well you should have seen my shame the next few days.

The second session went much smoother, I did have him blindfolded which i find helps 115% I just need to work on technique and nerves.. fumbling around his body and the awkward pauses I'm sure were no help to anyone, he really is a great support about all this however I don't want sympathy here ha ha.. it's hard to feel dominating when you are going off the pity of another in your actions.

I guess what I'm really trying to target is techniques, what kind of tools work best? Where to apply them? Where to look on someone who is not very ticklish? I have a few feathers but again most too soft and one too stiff. I find it interesting you mentioned lotion or oil? Wouldn't that make the skin to sticky to tickle? I really feel like I'm in a losing battle here, on the other side of things like I said even the slightest sensations send electrifying shivers through my body, is there anyway to control this?

Sorry about the long posts everyone.. I'M EAGER TO LEARN!!

Thanks again for your welcomes and your time 🙂

 

[dalekfire]

Hello and welcome, Kate! 🙂 Here's my two cents.

I somewhat know what you mean about the "nervousness" of being a 'ler, as your partner's body in the field of tickling remains "unexplored territory." But perhaps there lies your answer: You should explore more! Different techniques, tools, and tricks work for different people, so it's unrealistic to assume that you (or anyone) will find the perfect formula on the first few tries. Though you may learn lots about tickling here at the Theater, the best teacher can only be yourself, through experimenting, and then practicing all that you've discovered.

When my girl and I first started off, we decided to undertake "thorough investigations" of each other to see just what combinations of tools, spots, intensities and time-increments worked the best. Perhaps being that thorough isn't necessary, but maybe it can help? Your discoveries from an informal, technical session like that can help you in future "real-deal" sessions. You can even think of it as an adventure! Or solving a puzzle! Or even conducting a scientific experiment!! Oh, and while I'm on that subject...ever consider role-playing? 😉

Lastly, as you've mentioned that he has other interesting fetishes, it might help to integrate those other kinks in your session somehow. Like, if he likes feet, try placing your feet on his chest right in front of his face and tease him with little wiggles and rubs, as you attack his feet/thighs/sides/tummy/[insert spot here]. It may loosen him up to your tickling - sensitize his nerves a bit with something else erotic. This, in combination with the other combinations...may just form the winning combination!! :super_hap

Whatever the case, the main thing is that the journey of ticklish discovery is an enjoyable one, for both he and you. If you got that much, then the rest is a piece of cake. 😉

Best of luck with your man, and welcome again to the world of tickling!! :happy:


P.S.: Lotion and oil tends to allow fingernails/bristles/whatever slide well across skin, thus usually intensifying tickles...not to mention it can soften up the skin! Doesn't work for everyone, and it can get messy, but it's just one of the many techniques.

 

[AnnoXanti]

I am not so good at advice, but I'll try again:

The only secret I know on starting up with any relationship is through friendship. There is no fast shortcut to attaining the comfort level than being comfortable with the person first. Then as you go improving with this level, try to bridge the barrier by listening in each conversation and relating it to what you have.

 

[hungman1]

I am not so good at advice too.. but maybe you can get some tips by watching tickling f/m videos (f/m means female tickles male), though sometimes, as in many clips, you can't be sure if the victim actually can't hold its laughs or pretends, but anyway you will get an idea.
Also if you do some roleplaying (like pretend that he is a spy that is captured by you and taken to your headquarters for some tickle interrogation :stickout ) perhaps he will get in the right mood more quickly, but this is only a guess i don't know if it will actually help.

Have a great time, wish you luck! And don't worry, you will get used of it 🙂