On empathy between the tickler and ticklee.

[tj77]

My last post got me thinking. My gf and I have been experimenting in intense tickling and we've had some intense rides but they're often short because we both have lots of empathy. If I make her laugh too hard I'll back off without her saying. Once she becomes distressed or even "mock distress"ed, I can't do it. And when she has me in that wonderworld of total hysteria, she's as close to stopping as I am to calling mercy.

In some ways, that really makes our tickles a more emotional bonding experience. When she takes me to the edge but quickly brings me back, always concerned and comforting, it makes the love and trust special. When we stretch each other, it's an intense moment for both.

What do you all have to say on empathy with the ticklee? Is it a factor? How much do you have?

And what advice could you give us as we expand our experiences? Our empathy is a beautiful thing we don't want to lose so how do we approach more intense experiences?

 

[-Hari-]

improud to say I have none, and neither does kitty 😀

heh, in all honesty tho it depends, I thik its important to be capable of empathy where needed, but equally some sessions require little to no empathy 😛

 

[derkitzelnkonig]

Nope ^^ zero

 

[Kittycupcake]

improud to say I have none, and neither does kitty 😀

Heh heh heh....

I think you need to keep in mind the fact that you both -want- this kind of play, and the distress is minimal. I know I wouldn't be happy pushing someone if it actually physically hurt them, because I'm not that kind of person. But tickling isn't like that, it's just a sensation, not pain. Plus keep in mind the last time that she tickled you, the thoughts of revenge help!
My response to Haribish whenever he gets particularly squirimy or whiny is a quick reminder of how much he begs me to tickle him, how much he adores it, and how much he looks forwards to our tickle times! I think as a ler you need to learn to let go and enjoy it too, push those empathy thoughts out of your minds and just enjoy the reactions and the laughter! Maybe set a time limit for each time and both try and last it out? Oh and having someone tied up face down and gagged removes their ability to provoke empathy or fake distress!
You don't lose your empathy when you become a vicious ler. You just learn to save it for after the tickling, when your victim is all floppy and spacey and tickled out, and you can give them snuggles and loveliness. I think sometimes I prefer the post-tickling times to during, and that's where that intense feeling of love and trust comes into it.

 

[fecil]

I've often said that probably the biggest turn-on for me is knowing that my wife is extremely ticklish and is still willing to tolerate whatever I do to her. Knowing that she is dreading it beforehand, and hating it during, but is doing it to please me makes it very special. So while I empathize, there's also the fact that when you tie somebody to the bed,usually it's because you're going to do something they don't want done to them. So you owe them that.

 

[milagros317]

My advice:

During the tickling, honor the safeword but in the absence of the lee using it, tickle on without mercy.

Empathy is wonderful during the aftercare. 😀

 

[robmic]

I'm probably guilty of not continuing long enough. I tend to go hog wild for short bursts. So, I've never been accused of being too cruel.

 

[stockytickler]

Yeah, my bloodlust for tickling is /very/ easily slaked, especially in high empathy sessions with my bf. I'll tickle the high holy hell outta him for 5 to 10 minutes but I've never topped an extended session (hour+) because after an outrageous tickle, I just wanna cuddlefuck. Even tho he's put me through looooong sessions more than once where time just loses all meaning. He's very loving while he's tickling me, but he's enjoying my helpless laughter a /lot/ 😀

Think of it in terms of revenge, huh? I'll try. He's really good at begging, tho, and that touches my warm fuzzy heart 😀

 

[b0xr]

I am very empathetic to my wife while I am tickling her. After many years of torturing her, I know exactly when she's had enough. I never go too far because Karen isn't as into tickling as I am and I always want her to enjoy it as I do. After many years of tickling her, she has come over to my side and I believe she really does like being tickled. Like I tell her during sex. Body functions don't lie, you seem to be loving this. It makes her wetter as I tickle her...especially after she has an orgasm.

 

[Crazy Wabbit]

My last post got me thinking. My gf and I have been experimenting in intense tickling and we've had some intense rides but they're often short because we both have lots of empathy. If I make her laugh too hard I'll back off without her saying. Once she becomes distressed or even "mock distress"ed, I can't do it. And when she has me in that wonderworld of total hysteria, she's as close to stopping as I am to calling mercy.

In some ways, that really makes our tickles a more emotional bonding experience. When she takes me to the edge but quickly brings me back, always concerned and comforting, it makes the love and trust special. When we stretch each other, it's an intense moment for both.

What do you all have to say on empathy with the ticklee? Is it a factor? How much do you have?

And what advice could you give us as we expand our experiences? Our empathy is a beautiful thing we don't want to lose so how do we approach more intense experiences?

As a person who is both a lee and a ler (mostly a lee than a ler though), I personally value the importance of empathy. The reason being is I think back during the time when I was tickled by the girls who I went to school with. They were gentle about it, which is to say when they seen or thought that I was out of breath or I would say "I can't breath", they let up. And even though we called it "torture" or "merciless", it really was a figure of speech. For me, had they done, let's say, tickled me until I passed out, had laryngitis, or my sides were sore the next day where it hurt to even move, I think I would have ended up hating it. However, that is just me.

My suggestion would be that since your girlfriend seems to be into your fetish as well, I would talk to her about this and discuss the idea of gradually increasing the time in your sessions and testing your limits. I can't really tell you what that would be because each person is different. Think of it as someone who is working out and trying to break a plateau they have reached. One person may only be able to do 15 mins. more on cardio or lift 3 more reps in their sets where the other person is able to do 20 mins. or lift 5 more reps in their sets.

 

[Ardent Tickler]

I have none when tickling my tickle buddy. My intention is to try and break her. Ive tickled her into peeing herself a couple of times and carried on tickling while she was peeing. She did not get mad at me and appreciates my lack of mercy.

 

[Angel77]

Hmmm, I wonder how empathetic he'd be.

 

[Coda]

Confused. Empathy is vicariously feeling what your partner feels. If they actually want to push their limits, backing off would actually just be a… perhaps just careful or prudent response, wouldn't it?

Isn't the goal, then, to have even more, and more accurate, empathy?