On the whole, I'd rather be in...

[Knox The Hatter]

You know you're from

PHILADELPHIA

when...

* You punctuate every sentence with "You know" at least twice.

* You want olive oil, not mayonnaise on your hoagie.

* You hate the Giants.

* You hate Dallas.

* You realize that your favorite dessert is "wooder ice".

* You find yourself using "yo" and "youse guys" when talking long distance to family members.

* You know how to spell "Schuykill".

* You pronounce Acme "ACK-A-ME".

* You think that $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.

* You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking "I wonder if they have cheesesteaks?"

* You sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.

* You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.

* You can't eat French fries without cheese whiz.

* You call sprinkles on top of your ice cream cone "jimmies".

* You don't think Wawa sounds funny.

* You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.

* Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same block.

* You know who Jim O'Brien is and how he died.

* You can't imagine lunch without a Tastykake.

* You're still not sure about Jerry Penacoli.

* A vacation at the Jersey Shore (pronounced "Down The Shoore") is better than going to an island (there's more stuff to do, plus you know everybody else).

* You know where to find the Rocky statue.

* You know that only tourists go to to Geno's, Pat's, and Jim's for authentic cheesesteaks.

* You only go there if you're drunk and it's 3:00 AM.

* You can make a cheesesteak, and you've never been taught.

* You have never been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there was on a class trip in the third grade.

* You know what and where Boathouse Row is.

* You will buy a pretzel from anyone, anywhere, without even thinking of where it was - or where his or her hands have been.

* You can't imagine a breakfast without scrapple.

* You don't know what a sub is, but you think they're trying to describe an imitation hoagie.

* You aren't a bandwagon Sixers fan...you loved them when they sucked, and before they had A.I.

* You go to the Gallery or South Street in the summer time just to chill.

* You have the pizza place on speed dial.

* You can locate Passyunk, Wissahickon, and Wingohocking on a map.

* You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other people from Philadelphia.



-actually, this is all true! Right on the button. Now, put down that frickin' pretzel, and don't let me catch you raising it to your mouth again without yellow mustard on it.

 

[Mitchell]

LOL! Very Funny, Knox, my friend. Thank You! It gave me a good laugh.

Mitch

 

[ticklemad]

Now Knox my friend you will have to explain what half of those food items are to this little ol Limey😛

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Ah, my scrumptious one...but you first will have to impart the true reason why anyone would want to eat marmite; after all, it is so much better suited to gluing Armstrong Solarian tiles to the floor in your kitchen, the variety that Sultrybrunette would be happy to sell to you at Lowe's...

As far as the aforementioned food items: I could explain what they are and what they truly mean, but it would be the same as you explaining just what, say, a bacon buttie really means. It's local flavor...

For instance, Tastykake. Tastykake's a legendary Philadelphia snack cake manufacturer, famous for their jelly krimpets, butterscotch krimpets, Koffee Kake, etc. the charm of the products lie in their being second rate, in fact, it seems that the only people who really enjoy them come from the Philadelphia area. The products from Hostess and Little Debbie and best of all, Drake's, are much better.

Cheesesteaks: according to the legend, back during the Depression, there was this guy named Pat, and he had a mobile hot dog stand up in the commercial strip in Strawberry Mansion, back then a Jewish neighborhood up hard by Fairmount Park and the Philadelphia Zoo. One day, after the lunch rush, a hungry Pat threw a piece of cheap chuck on the grill, to prepare some makeshift sandwich for himself. Some guy walked by, saw it, and offered to buy the sandwich before he even put it together. Thus, Pat decided to market this idea of his, and he opened his own steak sandwich place down in South Philly, and the rest is history. This is actually the story the marketers from the 'Pat's Steaks' chain tell in their brochures.

Scrapple: oh, Jesus. Know what THIS is? It's all the unused parts of the hog, processed together. Use your imagination. It's sliced, and when you fry it, it cooks up in a color close to haze gray. Like marmite in a way, you know. You can't possibly appreciate it unless you come from there...it's usually served with breakfast meals.

Hoagie: In New York, we used to call it a Hero. In New England, it's known as a grinder. What it is, is a submarine sandwich...lean meats and cheeses on a long tubular roll, smothered in lettuce and tomato (optional), with mayo or oil and vinegar. New Orleans came up with a variation known as a "Po' boy"...basically anything on a toasted baguette, covered with tomatoes and onions and a po' boy sauce. Latitude here...my own po' boy sauce consists of mayonnaise, spicy gold mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and Tobasco. Fire hot.

Pretzels: The Philadelphia variety's known as a "soft pretzel"; chain link pretzels, as opposed to the Bavarian bow twist popular in New York and elsewhere. You eat it with yellow mustard spread on top.

Hope this helped, Ticklemad. Hugs and kisses...🙂

 

[ticklemad]

Blimey, you're quite a culinary master Knoxxy, but somehow I still see you more sat with a beer and a mallet smashing those crab claws.😉

I am so with you on the marmite, it has got to be the most vile thing ever invented, reminds me of shellac and probably doesn;t taste much better either.

As a vegetarian the thought of a scrapple made me gip but I have to say minus the bacon I could easily down a couple of Hoagies. Would it have a different name without the bacon?

Great story for the cheesesteaks but where's the cheese?

Have to say though - I love ya for calling me scrumptious, whether I am good enough to eat though well hmmm.... Would be good to hear from you again sometime, I miss your emails.
Take care my friend

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Knox honey, one of these days I am going to come for a visit then you can personally introduce me to some of this stuff. By the way, I could sell ya all tile and a whole lot more 🙂

 

[Knox The Hatter]

The both of you are precious.

The cheese on the cheesesteak came later, I guess...and I can't think of it without it. Now, one day, I was with a couple of friends at some dog stand down in Seaside Heights when I was a teenager, just hanging out with some girl I knew who was working there. It was late morning, no one around, when I made a paper tray of French fries for myself, and with the help of an epiphany, took a couple of slices of yellow American and placed it over the potatoes before putting it under a heat lamp. Pleased as punch with myself, I pointed it out to my friends..."hey, look what I invented!" The girl I had come to visit said, "way to go, dingbat. It's on the menu! Cheese fries...see?"

 

[Sultrybrunette]

LMAO better late than never?