Optimal Outcome, My Ass (M/M, MM/F)

[april]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6EGXbkc/
Merrit and Sylus

The room darkens in an instant, shadows sliding like oil across the walls. You know before you even see them that they've both arrived; two identical silhouettes emerging at the exact same moment, side by side, like twin storms colliding.

Merrit and Sylus.

Their resemblance is unnerving. Tall, lean, sharply beautiful, dressed head to toe in black. The only difference is their eyes; Merrits are deep, storm-dark midnight blue, while Sylus's are pale grey silver, cold and calm.

For a moment they just stare at each other. Then Merrit tilts his head, a single dimple flashing in a dangerous half-smile.
"Well," he says smoothly, his voice a rich, low drawl. "This is awkward."

Sylus blinks, expression unreadable. "For you."

Merrit let's out a sharp laugh. "I was here first."

"You weren't," Sylus replies evenly. "We arrived at the same time."

"Yes, but I intended to be here first." Merrit gestures loosely toward you. "And she clearly meant for me to have the evening."

Sylus turns his gaze to you; cool, steady, as if weighing evidence. "She asked for company. I came."

"You appeared like a smug wraith," Merrit retorts. "I was invited."

"You invited yourself."

The tension between them is building; not angry, exactly, but charged, like a storm that might strike or dissipate at any second. You stepped in before they start throwing actual punches...or shadows.

"Okay, enough," you cut in, hands up. "You're acting like a pair of sulky school boys. We need a way to settle this without anyone ending up stabbed."

Merrit raises a brow, intrigued. "Go on."

Sylus's silver eyes flick to you, wary. "What do you suggest?"

You grin. "A tickle fight. Winner gets me for the evening."

The silence that follows is sharp enough to cut glass.

Merrit blinks. "...You're joking."

"Nope."

Sylus exhales slowly, like someone trying to meditate through a fire alarm. "This is...beneath us."

"Translation," Merrit says, smirking. "he knows he'll lose."

Sylus's jaw tightens, though his tone stays calm. "You mistake restraint for weakness."

"And you mistake being boring for strength." Merrits smirk turns predacious. "Come on, brother. Show me what you got."

You clap your hands. "Fight!"

They move at the same time, and its chaos immediately.

Merrit lunges forward like a predator, aiming straight for Sylus's ribs. Sylus side steps with infuriating grace, catching Merrits wrist, his face still perfectly calm; until Merrit twists and nearly takes them both down.

Merrit grins like a maniac. "Got you."

"You really don't." Sylus replies, and slides two deft fingers into Merrits underarms.

The reaction is instant. Merrit let's out a strangled laugh and jerks violently. "You...bloody hell, Sylus!"

"Yield." Sylus says, deadpan.

"Never!" Merrit gasps between sharp, involuntary laughter, writhing free and shoving at Sylus's shoulder. They crash to the rug in a tangle of limbs, rolling like children; if children were six-foot shadow demi-gods.

You laugh so hard you nearly fall over as Merrit scrambles on top, managing to pin one of Sylus's wrists, only to yelp when his free hand digs into his side with precise, surgical fingers.

"That..." Merrit wheezes, "is cheating! You're using pressure points!"

Sylus's lips twitch, almost a smile. "Its called strategy."

"You're insufferable."

"You're loud."

They roll again, shadows whipping wildly around them, the room flickering with chaotic bursts of darkness. Sylus somehow stays composed through it all, while Merrit is flushed and grinning, laughing uncontrollably.

At one point, Merrit manages to grab both of Sylus's ankles and drags his twin backward across the rug, shouting triumphantly. Sylus just lifts a brow like this is mildly inconvenient.

Finally, Merrit hooks a leg over Sylus and pins him flat, both of them breathing hard. Before Sylus can react, Merrits hands dive for his ribs.

Sylus jolts like hes been struck by lightning. His back arches off the rug, a strangled sound tearing from his throat; a sound you never thought you'd hear from him. Its not elegant or controlled. Its raw, startled, almost human.

"Ah!" He bites it back immediately, jaw clenching, but Merrit just laughs darkly.

"Oh, don't you dare try and hold it in." Merrits fingers dance mercilessly over Sylus's sides, scribbling and digging with practiced cruelty. "You've been acting like a bloody statue for centuries. Time someone knocked the frost off."

Sylus twists violently, trying to get free, but Merrit has leverage and pure chaos on his side.

"You will...stop!" Sylus hisses, his voice breaking as another startled laugh bursts out of him, sharp and unwilling.

"Not a chance." Merrit crows, delighted. "You sound like you're going to break."

"Shut..." Sylus can barely get the word out before another fit of helpless laughter escapes him, deep and unrestrained. Its shocking; like watching marble crack. His usual calm is utterly gone, replaced by frantic twisting and laughter he clearly hates himself for.

You've doubled over, clutching your stomach, unable to breathe, laughter reaching a fever pitch; loud, wild, unstoppable. The ridiculous nature of the scene unfolding before you, breaks you completely.

And then...silence.

Both brothers freeze.

Merrits fingers still on Sylus's ribs. Sylus, breathless and disheveled, turns his head. Slowly, together, they look at you. Their identical gazes; midnight and silver, locking on you like twin predators, catching the scent of prey.

Your own laughter falters, then dies completely. "Uh-oh."

They glance at one another. Theres no argument this time, no words spoken, just a brief, knowing exchange. When their eyes return to you, there's perfect, terrible unity in them.

"Boys...," You say carefully, inching backwards on the couch.

Thats all you manage before Merrits voice cuts through the silence, smooth and commanding. "Hold her."

Sylus's lips curved, the faintest shadow of a smile. "With pleasure."

They move at the same time.

Two streaks of shadows blur across the room, and suddenly they're on you; Merrit lunging low, Sylus sweeping in high, a perfectly coordinated strike. You squeal and scramble, but its pointless; Merrits strong hands grab your waist while Sylus's cool, precise fingers snare your wrists, pulling you off balance and toppling you back onto the cushions.

"Traitors!" You shriek, kicking wildly as they pin you with effortless strength. "You were supposed to be fighting each other!"

"Oh, we were," Merrit says darkly, leaning over you, his breath now hot against your ear. "But now, we've found something better."

"Someone better," Sylus corrects smoothly, holding your arms fast.

You barely have time to gasp before Merrit grins down at you, both dimples flashing. "Lets see how you like being caught in the middle."

Merrit's hands strike exactly where you fear the most; your underarms. His long, elegant fingers dig mercilessly into those hypersensitive spots, and your reaction is instantaneous.

You scream; a sound so loud and wild it startles even you.

Sylus glances down at you, perfectly composed, despite the pandemonium beneath him. "You'd think she was being murdered."

"Only on the inside." Merrit quips, not missing a beat as you shriek louder. "Listen to that pitch...pure, flawless terror. Gorgeous isn't it?"

Sylus blinks once. "Hmm, I've heard cats make similar sounds when dropped into baths."

You thrash so hard you nearly buck both brothers off, sobbing through laughter. "I...HATE...YOU...BOTH!"

Sylus looks at Merrit. "She says she hates us."

"She always says that," Merrit replies. "It's her love language."

"Ah," Sylus says, as if this was a perfectly reasonable explanation. "Mines silence."

You can't catch your breath. You're laughing so hard that it's just ragged gasps and tears streaming down your face. "PLEASE! PLEASE STOP! I CAN'T...!"

Neither of them acknowledges you. Merrit just glances up at Sylus, smirk unyielding. "Shift her weight," he commands. "I want better access."

"Of course," Sylus says with a nod, as if they're discussing rearranging furniture instead of you. He adjusts his grip and hauls you upright like a sack of flour.

You open your mouth to scream at them, but Merrit's fingers descend again before you can utter a single syllable. They dance across your ribs with maddening speed until your next sound is nothing but a gasping, desperate scream of laughter that fills the entire room.

"Oh look," Sylus observes dryly over the cacophony. "She's ascending to a higher plane of existence."

"Or just passing out," Merrit replies casually, never stopping.

"Either way," Sylus says smoothly. "entertaining."

Sylus then shifts both your wrists into one of his hands. It's effortless, like hes just switching which hand holds his tea. "There," he remarks casually, flexing his newly freed hand. "Now I can multi-task."

His hand dives straight into your exposed underarm.

Before you can plead, Merrits hands clamp down on your thighs, just above your knees and squeeze. The shriek you unleash could probably shatter glass.

You howl, kicking frantically, but Sylus just holds your wrists higher, pinning you like a butterfly to a display case, his free hand wreaking havoc across ticklish flesh.

"I'm going to DIE!" You scream, voice shattering into incoherent hysterics as you thrash helplessly between them.

Both brothers freeze in perfect unison. The room goes eerily quiet except for your wild gasps for breath. For a split second, you think maybe, maybe, you've finally gotten through to them.

Merrit tilts his head, studying you, a wisp of mild concern crossing his otherwise unbothered expression. "She says she's going to die," he observes, his tone flat but amused.

Sylus doesn't even blink. "Statistically improbable."

"Right?" Merrit says with mock relief, his grin deepening. "Good talk."

Your laughter goes silent for a moment; nothing but open mouthed wheezing. Merrit glares at Sylus and snorts.

"Careful brother, shes rebooting."

"Ah," Sylus replies, completely unfazed. "Then we'll simply...restart her."

And they both attack at once.