(This posting was prompted by my reading of another, similar posting on this particular subject, so this isn't a total non-sequitur!)
So, I'm finalizing a breakup which I actually went through 5 years ago. I tried being friends with my ex but while we have had some good times together, our time together just reminds me time and again of why she is my ex. She used to call or e-mail me at least four times a week, but I think she may have finally gotten it that I'm not getting back together with her.
I knew I wasn't over her when I had a brief and not terribly satisfying fling with someone I met online about a year and a half ago (a rebound is not just a basketball maneuver) and actually felt like I was cheating on my ex, even though it'd been months since we'd spent the night together. Or felt like I was with my ex in a wishful-thinking kind of way.
So I'm back on that "down" escalator, taking a trip I should have finished months ago. Hell, I actually pulled out and am re-reading a book that I read 5 years ago (though I must say, the same book sounds a lot different to me now). I am exchanging messages with a couple of prospective dates online, and I do have friends and I get out to shows, meetups, etc as often as I can. But sometimes, especially late at night, I cannot help but feeling like I'm the subject of one of Frank Sinatra's old lonely-guy tunes. I know better than to think that having a girlfriend's going to fix my life (at least I know it intellectually) and I've had on-the-job instruction in the utter futility of "settling", but holy crap, I miss having a girlfriend, I miss it something fierce. A collection of DVDs just ain't the same.
Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything rash like attempt suicide, join a cult or take up sudoku. I just hate being in this particular place.
So, I'm finalizing a breakup which I actually went through 5 years ago. I tried being friends with my ex but while we have had some good times together, our time together just reminds me time and again of why she is my ex. She used to call or e-mail me at least four times a week, but I think she may have finally gotten it that I'm not getting back together with her.
I knew I wasn't over her when I had a brief and not terribly satisfying fling with someone I met online about a year and a half ago (a rebound is not just a basketball maneuver) and actually felt like I was cheating on my ex, even though it'd been months since we'd spent the night together. Or felt like I was with my ex in a wishful-thinking kind of way.
So I'm back on that "down" escalator, taking a trip I should have finished months ago. Hell, I actually pulled out and am re-reading a book that I read 5 years ago (though I must say, the same book sounds a lot different to me now). I am exchanging messages with a couple of prospective dates online, and I do have friends and I get out to shows, meetups, etc as often as I can. But sometimes, especially late at night, I cannot help but feeling like I'm the subject of one of Frank Sinatra's old lonely-guy tunes. I know better than to think that having a girlfriend's going to fix my life (at least I know it intellectually) and I've had on-the-job instruction in the utter futility of "settling", but holy crap, I miss having a girlfriend, I miss it something fierce. A collection of DVDs just ain't the same.
Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything rash like attempt suicide, join a cult or take up sudoku. I just hate being in this particular place.
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