Outward comfort?

[classy]

I have become so comfortable with what I "know" I am into... at least I had thought. I went to a fetlife munch last night and when someone asked me what I was into I realized I am still embarrassed to say.

Do we ever get fully comfortable with who we are? And don't laugh, but when I was asked while sitting at a table with 3 amazing people... I choked. The girl could tell I was embarrassed and gave me a way out. (THANK YOU!) But, then the person that invited me to the party showed up... came right up to the table and mentioned about me going to a "tickle party" in February lol. My heart stopped for a minute and my mind went blank. Here all these years of being on tmf and going to gatherings I thought I got passed that.... guess not eh? lol *Shakes head*

 

[maniactickler]

Classy, i know if i met you, i would make it as comfortable as possible for you. because i just care.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Hey Classy don't feel too bad. I think it is just normal-natural to feel out of your element and to not feel at total ease when around a group of strangers and those that don't know you. It is not like the sanctuary and close comfort of close friends here on the forum or real great friends you talk to everyday and spend lots of time with. You are suddenly in a new environment surrounded by lots of new people with all of you having different fetishes and kinks. When that moment of truth presents itself-you choke or clam up. It happens don't beat yourself up. It does not mean you are not or can't be assertive and doesn't mean you are not proud of what you enjoy-just means you got bit shy to speak what revs you up as an individual. No shame there.

Likely because you were not sure about those around you-you were afraid those around you might judge you or think bad of you-not because you were ashamed of your fetish (tickling) it is because you were afraid you would not be accepted sure you know that is the case of what that scenario had been-not because you are not proud of who you are and what you love. Because I know you are proud of the fact that you love tickling-it is a major kink for you.
I am sure once you were offered an "out" you were relieved and lot more comfortable-if you had not been hesistant and bit spooked to share about your love for tickling-I am sure you would have wore your fetish for tickling proudly without a thought. Better luck next time, don't feel too bad.

It has happened to me as well myself-yeah here I am pretty comfortable sharing about loving tickling-but I have been in "vanilla" scenarios where the word tickling got mentioned, either asking what the appeal of tickling was from a mutual great friend of bear and I's she asked -at first I got bit shy and clammed up-then after I explained she chuckled said well that is not that bad not spooky or freaky, that kind of sounds very interesting-sounds like lots of fun -like maybe to do that privately with when I find the guy I want to be with or when I am married. There I was worried about nothing, she did not think bad of me. Then another time in the past-someone mentioned love of tickling-asked if I still felt tickling freaky and bad long time ago-I actually had to admit I no longer felt it freaky or bad-really liked it -loved it-when the person wanted me to go into more detail about it-got bit embarrassed and clammed up at first-then after I went into bit of detail-found the person did not think bad of me-loved tickling also-so I was in good company.

So I get what you are saying about when in vanilla scenarios not sure if you will be accepted or not-outward comfort in the fetish tickling is no where to be found at that moment-when usually on the forum and with those that love tickling-you have super comfort sharing about tickling and what you enjoy. Don't worry over time it gets easier and more natural-eventually you start to feel more comfy you might find yourself talking about tickling sometimes in restaurants or public places without even thinking about it-do so with pride might not get embarrassed hey it happens.

 

[will.co.sc]

I have become so comfortable with what I "know" I am into... at least I had thought. I went to a fetlife munch last night and when someone asked me what I was into I realized I am still embarrassed to say.

Do we ever get fully comfortable with who we are? And don't laugh, but when I was asked while sitting at a table with 3 amazing people... I choked. The girl could tell I was embarrassed and gave me a way out. (THANK YOU!) But, then the person that invited me to the party showed up... came right up to the table and mentioned about me going to a "tickle party" in February lol. My heart stopped for a minute and my mind went blank. Here all these years of being on tmf and going to gatherings I thought I got passed that.... guess not eh? lol *Shakes head*

I've been told I was "fucked up" because I like feet/tickling and that I should get "some class" and that I'm weird and one girlfriend even broke up with me because of my fetish... I understand completely how you feel. In my opinion though, there's 3 kinds of people related to this subject. There are 1. haters, 2. lovers and the 3. ones that don't care. I look at group 2 and 3 as friends that understand or know how to deal with it. Knowing this fact makes it a whole lot easier for me to cope with group 1, the haters. Because I love what I do I'm the one that don't give a shit about their point of view. Since we can't change people and turn them into something we would like them to be the only solution is to avoid them.

If you're going to gatherings like the one you mentioned above I would think and hope that those people were able to understand. They are just as weird as we are! lol

Just keep in mind that you're not alone and we understand and that TMF is probably one of the best things that ever happened to us.

 

[rhiannon]

When I am comfortable enough to speak to the person about sex, I am also comfortable enough to speak about tickling. It makes no difference for me.

 

[classy]

If you're going to gatherings like the one you mentioned above I would think and hope that those people were able to understand. They are just as weird as we are! lol

Just keep in mind that you're not alone and we understand and that TMF is probably one of the best things that ever happened to us.

Oh by no means were they rude or discriminating... these were definitely "my" issues and fears. They were very open when the "topic" was out in the open. 🙂 Something I guess we have all had to deal with... but after going to the tmf gatherings I almost forgot how it could be awkward at a munch or gathering.

 

[will.co.sc]

When I am comfortable enough to speak to the person about sex, I am also comfortable enough to speak about tickling. It makes no difference for me.

It might not make a difference to you but maybe to them? Has that ever happened to you?

 

[BellaRisa]

I have become so comfortable with what I "know" I am into... at least I had thought. I went to a fetlife munch last night and when someone asked me what I was into I realized I am still embarrassed to say.

Do we ever get fully comfortable with who we are? And don't laugh, but when I was asked while sitting at a table with 3 amazing people... I choked. The girl could tell I was embarrassed and gave me a way out. (THANK YOU!) But, then the person that invited me to the party showed up... came right up to the table and mentioned about me going to a "tickle party" in February lol. My heart stopped for a minute and my mind went blank. Here all these years of being on tmf and going to gatherings I thought I got passed that.... guess not eh? lol *Shakes head*

Funny you should bring this up, because one of my New Year's resolutions is to stop avoiding saying the word 'tickle' and its various forms. I've been in this community since '98, I run the Bash and BellaRisa Entertainment, yet I can still break into a cold sweat when presented with those words and/or having to talk about tickling. That's pitiful, lol, and I've pondered the issue a lot lately. I believe I've figured it out, at least for myself: I'm not remotely embarrassed or uncomfortable concerning my kink in theory, the problem is that I feel extremely vulnerable when actually discussing it. It's as though saying the words out loud and admitting that I enjoy it invites people around me to tickle me, and gives them open permission to do so. Which is utterly ridiculous, yet I find myself blushing just typing this because that image/scenario is so deeply personal and intimate. (I believe it also concerns the war my dominant side has with my submissive side, but that's a whole 'nother post). Think about it, how often do we even discuss it with each other, our friends that we KNOW have the same kink and same issues? We're all Wile E. Coyote Geniuses at finding other ways to express those thoughts; I know that I've gone entire NEST and Bella Bash weekends without saying those words, and hearing them less times than I can count on one hand. And heck, when I did hear them it was usually Bill or Bruce and as converts they don't technically count 😀 After literally hundreds of munches and many gatherings for BDSM, spanking and tickling I'm pretty good at discussing it if I've prepared myself in advance, but caught off guard I'll still freeze up, something I hope to change 🙂

 

[will.co.sc]

Oh by no means were they rude or discriminating... these were definitely "my" issues and fears. They were very open when the "topic" was out in the open. 🙂 Something I guess we have all had to deal with... but after going to the tmf gatherings I almost forgot how it could be awkward at a munch or gathering.

I didn't think they were rude. I was just trying to say that "your" issues and fears are also "our" issues and fears. I think we're also effected by our past events and that's why it's so hard to get rid of them no matter who we're facing.

 

[Inverse]

I can talk about so many things that turn me on with others. It's actually very easy for me~ especially online. I'm into things most people would find ridiculous. Yet I have no issues telling people I like hentai, and watching even the weirdest kinks online. Most of the time it illicits giggles, but it doesn't bother me. Since to me everyone has their secrets, some more open than others.

For some reason though, tickling is one of the few things that make me blush when I mention it to others, if I even do. It's a piece of me so personal~ that it's deeper than sex itself. I know that may sound ridiculous to some, even on this forum, but it's true. It's like I've opened my heart and allowed someone to stroke it at even the suggestion.

I've never openly talked about my love for tickling in person, and if I went to a tickling gathering and actually saw anyone being tickled, you'd see a young guy with his hands on his lips and eyes because he's so moved he can hardly breathe. It's ridiculously profound to me~ and just admitting that is so difficult to others because I don't know if there are words to convey it.

Even amongst others in the tickling community, I'm not 100% sure others really understand. I don't have the confidence, and that lack of confidence is what makes it difficult... most of the time that I tell others, if they ask because they really want to know, I tell them and get a neutral response, if even one at all. Like they don't want to offend me, so they say nothing at all, or express confusion. The connection is so far out there, and for someone who sees tickling as I do, it's like the biggest part of me doesn't exist in their eyes. Something so important to me is worthless to them, and so it makes me regret even sharing it.

It's a jewel I keep within me, and I'm questioning even allowing it to be seen at all. If not for the layers, upon layers of identity in a place like the TMF, I'm not sure I'd even be able to do it here. But I'd love to, so bad~ I would, and I know that anxiety Classy, I really do~ but the fact you're even out there at these gatherings and sharing even the smallest of piece of that love with others is a wonderful thing. It actually inspires me to do the same, but it isn't easy~ it affects us all in different ways, and in some ways the same.

In the end, I'm happy tickling makes me feel this way. Something has to~ something sexual in this world still has to be so absolutely delicious that it makes me blush. It makes me feel human knowing that I have feelings like that I can treasure~ I just wish I could share it with others who feel the same. <3

 

[rhiannon]

It might not make a difference to you but maybe to them? Has that ever happened to you?

No. Why would it? People have to know me pretty well for me to talk to them about sex. What difference should it make to them to know that I sexually enjoy being tickled?

In the end, I'm happy tickling makes me feel this way. Something has to~ something sexual in this world still has to be so absolutely delicious that it makes me blush. It makes me feel human knowing that I have feelings like that I can treasure~ I just wish I could share it with others who feel the same.

Just so you know, I think this was absolutely wonderful. 🙂