"Personally Dissappointing"

[barefeetarebest]

In a place where there are so many who share the very same interests, its a shame that there is so much dissappointment when it comes to meeting friends with those interests in common. no flaming please.

If you take your fetish seriously, and have feelings of wanting to share some experiences, it should be easy for one or a couple to hook up and hang out, whatever. I understand the few ruin it for the many but damn, do the good ones who rove the personals section or those with whom you've met at a gathering recognize genuineness when they spot it?

 

[LD_Tickler]

I'm sure it's just a matter of patience and persistence. If you can endure the crap, I'm sure others can too.

 

[Phineas]

If you take your fetish seriously,

I are serious cat, and tickling is Serious Business.

do the good ones who rove the personals section or those with whom you've met at a gathering recognize genuineness when they spot it?

The personals are a joke. They always have been. Personally, I think the only reason they exist is to keep Tickling Discussion free of spam.

As for gatherings? I wouldn't trade the friendships I've made here in the Bay Area scene for anything... but to be totally honest, it took a good six months before we all got to that point. You have to have more in common with someone than just your fetish in order for anything to come of it - so if you're that single-minded then it's going to prove a bit difficult to connect with people.

Not saying that you, personally, are - but just sharing my experiences.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

You have to have more in common with someone than just your fetish in order for anything to come of it.

This is a big factor for many people. The main problem (IMO) with the personals section is that many of those posting there don't post anywhere else...or only rarely do so. As a result, nobody gets a chance to get a feel for who they are. I (and I'm sure many others) only very rarely even look at the personals section. So, if I haven't seen you posting elsewhere, I'm not likely to respond on those occassions when I do.

If you won't give us a chance to get to know you, why should we want to hook up with you? (I say "you" in a generic sense.) Simply posting, m 26 seeks f with ticklish feet or something similar a dozen times in personals isn't going to get much positive attention. Getting involved in posting elsewhere and giving folks a chance to get to know them will do much better.

Drew & I have made many friends here. How? We actually talk with folks and get to know them online. Then, if the opportunity presents itself, we meet somewhere for dinner...as we did with Venray & Raya a few years back. If that goes well, we take it from there. Many others have done the same.

OTOH, we've had others who have made their presence and desire to play known only to not show up when we agree to meet for dinner to get to know them first. It's not reasonable to expect people to want to hook up, esp for play, when they haven't had a chance to get to know you at least a little.

Taking tickling seriously doesn't mean throwing common sense and safety out the window. But, many don't seem to have a problem expecting others to do so.

My personal sense of disappointment with the personals section comes from the lazy attitudes of many posting there. They are their own worst enemies when it comes to actually doing anything.

 

[makeUsquirm]

I think it's just a matter of getting to know the person. Just because someone likes to tickle or be tickled doesn't mean they're just going to let anyone do it. These types of relationships must be built up over time.

 

[Chloe_Vlad]

I can appreciate your standpoint that meeting people with an interest in tickling is difficult. Before my husband and I got married I know he was on the personals for a 7 years and that pretty much got him nowhere. And from what I can surmise, someone who is a "hard wired" tickler, dating someone who is not ticklish just doesn't fly.

I think it's been said before but you've got a better chance at converting someone than finding them on here, unfortunately. I am a convert, but I also knew my husband for 10 years. If he was some random guy off the street who told me that tickling was his thing I would've gotten up and left. There is something to be said for knowing the other person and letting the relationship build over time.

 

[Kalamos]

And from what I can surmise, someone who is a "hard wired" tickler, dating someone who is not ticklish just doesn't fly.

Hard wiring.
Intriguing concept - it makes sense if one ever got to explain a fetish to non-fetishists.

 

[sasaxrah]

If you take your fetish seriously, and have feelings of wanting to share some experiences, it should be easy for one or a couple to hook up and hang out, whatever. I understand the few ruin it for the many but damn, do the good ones who rove the personals section or those with whom you've met at a gathering recognize genuineness when they spot it?

Do I recognize genuine personals? Definitely not. However well-meaning, there's no way to tell with a few sentences. I have yet to go to a gathering, so I can't comment on that.

I take my fetish "seriously" but this doesn't mean I'm obligated to speak to anyone who wants to chat. Anyone from TMF I've spoken with at length, and have subsequently befriended, waits at least half an hour before even mentioning tickling. Often times they wait for me to bring it up or hint at it. They don't ask me where I'm ticklish, or what my tickling fantasy is.

This gets said a lot because it's great advice - if you want to meet people, post in Tickling Discussion/General Discussion. Go to a TMF radio show. I know the people I talk to are genuine, wonderful people because I got to know them on a personal level as well as a fellow "serious" tickler.

 

[Bugman]

You have to have more in common with someone than just your fetish in order for anything to come of it - so if you're that single-minded then it's going to prove a bit difficult to connect with people.

Well said.

 

[barefeetarebest]

thanks everyone for all the feedback as it will be taken under consideration.

 

[darkhand]

Also, consider the media's spin on forming internet connections. How many episodes of CSI or Law and Order show people getting gutted after a real life encounter with an online acquaintance.

To certain people in certain places, we are living in a climate of fear.

There are a lot of people on here that I admire and respect, but take just ANY person off of a message board and who is to say that they really are who they say they are. The same could certainly be said about me.

I don't mean to mix business with pleasure, but one of the most important concepts I have ever learned is that when you are "marketing yourself", networking is one of the most powerful tools there is. Post, chat, attend gatherings, kiss hands, shake babies....something like that anyway.

Something will come from it sooner or later. (At least that's what I keep telling myself)