Feathery
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2001
- Messages
- 2,222
- Points
- 36
Beg pardon if these quotes have already been posted:
"I believe that sex is one of the most
beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can
buy."
--Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want
sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you
don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good
hand."
--Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in
women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
500SL."
--Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting
your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool
with a rope."
--George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for
reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no
matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral
sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and
you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time of the month that
I can be myself."
--Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just
need a place."
--Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front of men
than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are
reporting that many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's
magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going
to find a woman I don't like and just give her a
house."
--Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a
brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one
at a time."
--Robin Williams
"I believe that sex is one of the most
beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can
buy."
--Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want
sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you
don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good
hand."
--Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in
women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
500SL."
--Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting
your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool
with a rope."
--George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for
reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no
matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral
sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and
you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time of the month that
I can be myself."
--Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just
need a place."
--Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front of men
than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are
reporting that many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's
magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going
to find a woman I don't like and just give her a
house."
--Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a
brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one
at a time."
--Robin Williams
