Playful Tickling Still Possible?

[Dave2112]

I was having a conversation with someone from the community awhile ago and an interesting topic came up. He told me about someone who made a statement about the downside to having your partner, family, friends or what have you know about your fetish.

This was the general jist, to paraphrase:

"Once your wife (GF, BF or whatever) knows about your tickling fetish and once you've used it in bed; playful innocent tickling is out the window."

It's like this...My girlfriend knows about my fetish and knows what I do with my spare time. Now, she has a 19-year-old daughter whose boyfriend tickles her playfully all the time when they come over. He even intimated that I help him tickle her on a few occasions. Now, the first thing going through my GF's head is "he writes tickling fiction for a "living" and I'm going to see him tickle my daughter?" She knows that I have no sexual feelings for her daughter, so it's not that, but to her it's just a little wierd, which I guess I can understand. So I avoid the conflict altogether. Not that I would mind tickling her a bit, she's cute, and we're NOT related in any way. Plus her boyfriend is opening the door all the time, even saying we needed to tie her feet together once. (All playful of course, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my soon-to-be "son in law" is one of us....)

See where I'm going with this? Not all tickling is sexual in nature. But do any of you have a similar experience with a partner who thinks it is? You know, you can't give an innocent playful tickle without someone thinking it has to have a sexual connotation?

(To give credit where it's due, Jeff was the one with the original statement on this.)

 

[MaxSpeer]

This is a really good topic, and very important. Since tickling is viewed by the Vanilla world as inncocent play and viewed by us as highly exciting, we might wonder what kind of lines are drawn?

To illustrate this, I had a wonderful girlfriend who not only knew but participated joyfully in tickling with me. She had young kids that she would tickle often. If I would tickle them she would know that I would not give the sexual aspect a single thought. After all, I love to hug and kiss my own kids but that's because I love them and it wasn't like hugging or kissing my girlfriend.

Now, to your question, Dave. I really don't know how I would react if her daughter was 19. To me, a 19 year old is a young woman. A 19 year old girl is a sexual being, capable of everything any mature woman is capable of. Her boyfriend, by suggesting that her feet be tied is obviously exhibiting signs of Tickle Fetishism, whether he tells you or he knows it himself. This same girlfriend that I had, I'm sure, would NEVER want me to participate in tickling a daughter if she were 19. Tickling a 19 year old, to me, would be like tickling an adult woman.

Okay, now here's another spin on it. I have a niece who is 24 years old and she is gorgeous. There have been times where I would give her a poke here and there at family parties. I have absolutely no sexual feelings towards her, nor have I ever. To me, that would be the furthest thing from my mind. So it's a strange dynamic.

If its family, it is totally nonsexual. However, if this niece was not my family and I did not have that history with her, perhaps I would feel very differently towards tickling her.

Max

 

[Dave2112]

Just to make things crystal clear if any of you haven't already figured it out, I have NO sexual feelings toward my girlfriend's daughter, I only used that as an example of the dynamic involved. And great response, Max! Makes a lot of sense.

 

[TicklingDuo]

Another very thought provoking question...

I think that this is a difficult area to draw a straight line of demarkation. While tickling with someone for whom you have strong sexual attraction or romantic feelings may not go back to playful, that which takes place with others never crosses that line to begin with. I think it varies from person to person. For Drew and I, we can go either way...depending on where we're at when it occurs. We can simply share playful pokes (alone or in public) or we can get more involved...both in the physical and emotional aspects.

Like Dave and Max, I have family and friends with whom I share tickles on occassion. But, the relationship/feelings being different makes the tickling experience different.

Ann

 

[SmileyTkls]

Okay, time to chime in again, maybe because I had Taco Bell. LOL. Anyhow, my take on it is that, yes, even for we jaded and thoroughly initiated tickle folks, you can have playful ticklings with people, even ones that you have intimate ticklings and relationships with. If I ever thought that I couldn't just have simple tickling fun ever again after more intense ticklings, I'd be very unhappy. I love both "kinds" of tickles, given and received, and I do have some friends that I tickle just to tease them and get them to loosen up. So, while perhaps it's a difficult line to draw, I agree with previous posters that it can be done, with family, friends, or in my opinion, even a relationship partner. My $0.03 (Canadian) 🙄

Smiley

 

[dvnc]

The simple answer? Depends on who you're asking.

For me? Yeah. Then again, I drag out a tired old example of where ticking is similar to kissing all the damned time. Somewhere, out there, are several gathering attendees, and a number of my closer friends, groaning loudly. Heck, some TMF folk even heard it from me once before.

It is, though. Tickling is like kissing. It's different things, depending on who's kissing whom? Who d'you kiss? Your lover, certainly. What about Mom? Dad? Other relatives? Crying children, needing your care and sympathies? Can't count the number of times I've kissed a cryin' infant while babysittin'. They're all different sorts of kisses, even those to mom vs. the ones grandma gets. Ma is ma, after all. Even THINKING about kissin' someone the wrong way turns the stomach, at worst, or indicates a bad sentimental turn (as with kissing a lover like you do your parents).

Tickling babies is sympathetic, and a show of love. Tickling a relative is casual, like a handshake of a friend. It REALLY depends on where your HEAD is.

That's what matters.

I know a woman overseas who'd squick big time about even TALKING about tickling her kid, and it was understandable, in her case, as the action was ALWAYS thought to be sexual. I'd squick too. I'd also be REALLY weird about lettin' someone tickle my kid, in that case.

It's like kissing, though. It's a different gesture, depending on the person. I couldn't conceive of play at gatherings, otherwise. If you knew what I looked like, you won't conceive of it either. 😉

dvnc

 

[terorizer]

This is a very poignant question. For me, I tend to think that no matter how accepting or open-minded a person is once they know about me and tickling, they will ALWAYS relate to it as primarily a sexual thing. So even though I do give spontaneous tickles to friends, family and kids, with nary a sexual thought or connection, I don't if they "know" about me, because I wouldn't even want the thought to enter their minds. I do have a precious few friends who know me well enough and understand the way I relate to tickling well enough, (because they relate to it in a similar way), that there would be no questioning of an innocent tickling.

 

[Mimi]

I go both ways with this issue.

I playfully tickle with my friends all the time. It's more a less a show of affection, and the majority of my friends know about my fetish, and accept it, so it's all cool. It does not mean I am going to hop into the sack with my friend Rob, because he pinned me against the wall and attacked me at the club Saturday night. It's all in the name of friendship and affection. And we keep it plutonic.

On the other hand, I can not tickle my daughter without feelings of incest, and I would absolutely die if a relative tickled me. Family crosses the line in my mind. But that is just my own emotional perspective on it. I agree with DVNC that tickling is much like kissing, and different kinds of tickling is associated with different kinds of relationships. Just knowing that tickling, for me, is a sexual fetish though, keeps me from being able to share it with anyone related to me.

 

[Krokus]

Well

I think that playful tickling is still possible when someone knows about your fetish. I think that when you tell them about your fetish, you should also explain that by say, tickling another woman does not mean you have sexual attraction to her

 

[edv]

Cheap thrills?

I think it's simply a matter of good or bad intentions. I actually get into tickle fights regularly with my wife's best friend. (but also a freind of mine) It's just something we do. Sometimes it IS midly arousing, but there is also a moral line one must establish,as far as HOW far you take that mild arousal. Ya know....tickling CAN'T be the thing you look forward to most about hanging out with your s/o's best friend. No matter how good she looks or how ticklish she is. I am lucky enough to have a wife who is soooooo understanding of my fetish, she has allowed me indulge A LOT in the tickling community. In fact I'm a lot more hung up about it than she is in many ways. My wife has never objected to me engaging in any playful tickling. Because it is GOOD natured. It's a matter of confidence & trust......in yourself. Establish your own lines. May they be good and pure.



Peace

Ed

 

[TICKLERBOY123]

Related to what DVNC was talking about.....i think that we should discount this idea of tickling being like kissing. When we kiss a child or an infant it usually involves the contact of lips on skin - and it is over pretty quickly. You would never consider snogging this child of whom you are realted for five minutes whilst using your tounge and fondling with its naked body - just an example! However, tickling can only be performed in one way - i have no feelings towards my sister, my cousins or any memebers of my family whatsoever (although incest may account for my extraordinary ugliness - !) however, i do experience sexual feelings whenever i tickle them - and so i avoid it - i never tickle my parents (NEVER NEVER NEVER yudsfkjsdh!) but tickling a beautiful cousin with whom you have little contact can generate sexual feelings (which i find dissipate as soon as the tickling stops - therefore i just like tickling rgardles of the person). From peoples posts here i get the impression that we are very similar - although corrct me if i am mistaken.
Therefore, i would say that there is not such thing as playful tickling for us. And just to throw up anotehr consequene of DVNC 's kissing - tickling analogy, i say this. You approach a member of your family, and kiss that person as you would jkiss a loover and you would notice some sexual tension - at least thats what i think). Its the same with tickling. Kissing is a poor exmaple.

 

[dvnc]

Ticklerboy123, an observation for you - Tickling CAN be done in more than one way, and in more than one place on the body. It can be hard or gentle, using fingers, implements, teeth, tongue, toes, etc. If you can only do it one way, that's individual to you, as I can do it multiple ways, as can many of us that I've met over the years.

A difference between your description and mine is that I'm pointing out that the situation is SUBJECTIVE to the tickler. Clearly, YOU feel it crosses sexual boundaries for you. There are others who feel likewise, some of whom are dear friends of mine.

The WHOLE POINT of my description is that it's SUBJECTIVE. For me, for instance, it's different for different people, as kissing is for me. I feel no sexual arousal tickling my friend's kid, or my mother, for instance. That's ME. YOU aren't me, and it's different for YOU. See?

When you say this:

Therefore, i would say that there is not such thing as playful tickling for us. And just to throw up anotehr consequene of DVNC 's kissing - tickling analogy, i say this. You approach a member of your family, and kiss that person as you would jkiss a loover and you would notice some sexual tension - at least thats what i think). Its the same with tickling. Kissing is a poor exmaple.

I've an argument for you. Consider it a debate, please, and if you've a countered perspective, please share.

My argument is that your statement SUPPORTS my definition. Look down to my original post, and notice that, near the top of it, I state this:
"Tickling is like kissing. It's different things, depending on who's kissing whom"

I would never KISS my mother as I do my lover, and I would never TICKLE my mother as I do my lover. Clearly, your argument says you're incapable of this notion of differentiating tickling depending on the person you tickle. You're not the only one, and there's nothing wrong or bad about your perspective, in my eyes. FOR ME, it's as I stated it. FOR YOU, it's as you state it for yourself. They are different perspectives. That's part of individuality. We're different, brother.

How I kiss a niece, my mother, my friend, and my lover is different for each. How I tickle them is ALSO different for each. I'm capable of differentiating them. I don't have sexual notions that are forced by tickling. I have control of my sexual notions.

I thus dispute you, sir. 😉 For you, ticking is sexual, no matter WHERE it's directed, if I follow your argument correctly. For me, it's not sexual if I don't find sexual attraction to the one I'm tickling. Terorizer, Mimi, SmileyTkls, Krokus, Dave2112, Max Speer, and Tickling Duo seem to be able to separate sexual attraction in tickling in a similar manner.

Okay, your turn. What's your rebuttal, sir? How am I (and Terorizer, Mimi, SmileyTkls, Krokus, Dave2112, Max Speer, and Tickling Duo) falsely stating that such is such is possible?

dvnc

p.s. Just so it's clear, this is an offer for polite debate, and I do respect your perspective. Why repeat such? So as to avoid base and fruitless argument. I want to know your position, sir, as it's completely foreign to me. If it ain't clear in the post, it should be now!

 

[terorizer]

Corrections :- )

From peoples posts here i get the impression that we are very similar - although corrct me if i am mistaken. Therefore, i would say that there is not such thing as playful tickling for us.

I can recall being a little boy and seeing, like a lot of you I'm sure, Popeye tickling Bluto's feet while he was stuck in the cage with the laughing heyena. It fascinated me. It did not however turn me on. There was nothing sexual about it. Even though tickling took on a certain degree of eroticism as I grew older, still, at the core of me, tickling is a fun and fascinating thing. ALL tickling is playful for me. ONLY selected tickling is sexual.

 

[JAT]

Not me

Tickling has always been to exciting for me. I always limit my tickling to my girlfriends or now my wife. There are some people that can seperate between playful tickling and erotic, I'm just not one of them. I think it's a personal thing.