Please Help Us! The man I love has a foot tickling fetish and I hate my feet tickled

[ITickleFeet2]

Hello All,
I am new to this tickle fetish stuff and hope that some of you TMF vets can answer a couple questions for me. You see, my unbelievably amazing fiancé has a foot tickling fetish. In addition to being the love of my life and proved to me over and over and over again that he would sacrifice whatever he had to, whenever he had to, to make absolutely sure I was happy and taken care of. His selflessness amazes me and inspires me in so many ways. The fact that he has always been more than willing to sacrifice and give up anything and everything he had too for me because he loves me which only further proves it's time to take action and find answers to the questions I have had since I found out about his fetish 2 years ago. I was amazed that out of everyone else in the world he choose me to share his deepest darkest secret that he kept hidden for 24 years, and he only knew me for not even month. I was so surprised that he wanted to tell me. Granted it was over s text message but hey, It made me feel special lol. He told me he had something to tell me, he went to the bathroom and text me "I'm sorry to tell u like this but this is my deepest darkest secret, I know it's fuckin weird but I have a foot tickling fetish. I understand if u don't want to be with a freak" as I read it I was almost in disbelief that that was his deepest darkest secret. I waited for him to come back before answering him and as he walked in the room I could tell he was about to puke from nerves and had an absolute look of fear and terror on his face. After telling him I accepted it he could not believe it. It made me so mad that he really believed he was a freak and a weirdo. He didn't see the amazing man I saw and it was at that moment that I made it my goal to make him see the man I seen when I looked at him and prove to him that no matter what I had to do to show him he was never a freak and that I will love him unconditionally no matter what his fetish is. I want to love his fetish as well because it is a part of him but.... I hate being tickled on my feet. Sooo I was hoping y'all could help me achieve that goal and give me some tips on how to get over my childhood phobia of being tickled so that me and my fiancé can maybe find a way to make it where we both can enjoy it. Unfortunetly I don't have any fetishes or fantasys just so you know. Any ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Please help me!!! Thank You!!!

P.s. This is his account and I have never been on here so I hope I did it right!!!

 

[Goatboy]

I think the best strategy would be to take it very slow, and make sure your limits are respected. If you can only take 5 seconds, then that is what you can take. Just like anything else, you need to retrain your brain and change how you think about being tickled. This will take a lot of hard work and much patience.

I think you should try to analyze why you hate it, and see if there is anything you can do to change that. Also, try to focus more on the positive benefits.

Tickling kind of shuts your brain off and makes you forget your problems. It is a great stress reliever. I find it feels good to just cut loose, lose control, and laugh!

Or maybe, while you are being tickled, instead of focusing on how it makes you feel, try to instead concentrate on how it makes him feel. It is something that will bring him a lot of happiness, maybe try thinking about that as it is happening.

This will be a long process, but with patience, understanding, and communication, I think the two of you can make it work.

Best of luck to you both!

 

[dskodj]

Actually, depending on what degree and type of foot tickling fetish he has, you hate having your feet tickled could actually be a bonus and extra turn on. Like the above poster said, take it slow in small increments to start, and build up to where you can REALLY take it for longer periods to where he gets his "groove" on 🙂

What gets most of us feet tickle people going is the laughing...so don't let that part be a worry. The more you go nuts with laughing, the more he'll probably get turned on.

 

[matt62]

Good advice in the posts above. It's obviously going to be a matter of give-and-take on both your part and his, and you have to start slowly, and make sure any tickling is always in the context of the wider loving relationship, which you two lucky people clearly already have. There is also the possibility that you might never really get into the tickling and that he might have to live with that. It does happen, and it can be done, though some find it harder than others.

What struck me as much as anything you said is your description of how ashamed or embarrassed your fiancé has felt about his tickling attraction. It seems to be not an uncommon feeling among ticklephiles, yet it is always a surprise to me to hear about that. I have never felt any shame about liking tickling at all, and don't understand why anyone would. TICKLING IS SEXY! People have varying responses to it, from strong to weak and from ecstasy to fear, but all through history and across all societies it is a phenomenon that is recognised and comes up all over the place and it is a very human thing. It has always been an undercurrent in humanity's stories about sex and the erotic. I understand wanting to be a bit secretive and cautious about it - I'm the same - just like we all keep any other intimate details about ourselves and our lives in a non-public space and share just with our close loved ones - but shame? Feeling freakish? No, no, no. It's natural, it's sexy, it's not uncommon, and it's FINE.

 

[magic fingers]

First of all, let me just say how lucky he is to have such a sweet understanding lady like yourself in his loife. I once told a woman I liked about my tickling fetish and the relationship basically ended right there, so you can see how hard it is for us "tickle-guys" to come clean.

IMHO. the people who hate being tickled fall into 2 categories;
1) They were traumatized by tickling when they were growing up. They were literally tickle tortured by older siblings, kids at school, boyfriends, parents, etc. Obviously even the most die hard ticklefile doesn't want to be tickled until they can't breathe or until they pee themselves
2) They simply don't like the sensation, even if they are laughing. I once knew a girl who said it was "painful" when someone tickled her feet

My advice is similar to that from the other people on this forum - take it slow. Maybe have him give you a footrub, to help you relax, and let him sneak a couple tickles in here, and there. You obviously trust him so he's not going to do anything to make you uncomfortable. Any tickler is going to respect his ticklee's limits, and listen to their "safe" word if it gets too intense. But in your case, baby steps. Think of it as an acquired taste.

If you look at the some of the stories on this forum, you'll see a few true stories of guys who's girlfriends/wives initially hated being tickled but they were eventually "converted" into at the very least, being able to tolerate it enough to make their man happy. And in some cases, guys swear they actually got their previously vanilla tickle-hating girlfriends into actually enjoying it, and now the ladies want to be tickled. I don't know how true those stories are, but I believe it is possible for you to at least grow to tolerate the tickling. Hell I knew one woman who would actually get orgasms from having her feet tickled. Obviously that's not common, but you get the point.

Finally some people just hate tickling and will never change, no matter how they want to please their foot loving BF. That may be a possibility in your case. Maybe you can tickle him? Who knows.

But at first even if you don't like it, maybe the fact that the man you love is the one who's tickling you, might make it bearable.

Good Luck

 

[foot fun]

Sorry, I am the victim of the cell phone Fuck.

 

[dskodj]

TA is and was the most overrated producer ever. They have "tickled" women who said in interviews that they were not ticklish at all.

And what in the hell does that have to do with this thread?

 

[CapturedDoll]

I don't really have any advice for you. If anything... I read this for myself (people's advice) My Bf hates being tickled too. So... I am reading right along with you for advice ITickleFeet2. But I do not want any attention in that regard. My Bf helped ME come to terms with Tickling... I was VERY mentally blocked.

So... for ITickleFeet2 himself... I never post my own videos directly into other people's threads. But I feel the need to make an exception here. I want to assure him he's not alone. And if he has time... or would like to... here is a link to my "Tickling History" I talk about what I've been through with it... and a lot of the aspects that surround it. I don't address ALL of the issues... but... I think he can relate. And, you might want to watch these with him. If nothing else but to reassure him that his fetish is something to be proud of.

(Every video is about 10 mins long except for the last which is about 6 mins.. all for a total of about an hour. I say this because I need to make a Dropbox payment lol... So if doesn't work for you... or the time seems to be drastically reduced in length... save the link and come back to them another day.)

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?278441-My-Tickling-History

 

[Aeveirra]

Hhmmm.... Well, I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but my honest opinion;
for the most part, I'm not very optimistic about this situation.

~~~ A fetish (Paraphilla) is something that's often very personal, and intrinsic to ones' identity and sexuality.
There's a good reason for why he kept it secret for SO long, yet he told you in a month
- (Because, he loves you!). <3 AWWWW. Lol.
But I actually don't that was the "main" reason he did that. He told you because it was something thats very important to him.
I say this because I have done the exact same thing he did.... I always kept my fetish (for being tickled), hidden, for so long; - except to the guy I was dating.

*** And, this is something I tell a new BF, within the first few weeks / to about a month of us dating. I wasn't in love when I did this. To them it seemed like I was opening up about a deeply personal secret, which yeah I was.
But I primarily told them because I wanted to make sure I was dating someone who was OK with it, and would be willing to tickle me, frequently.
If I met someone who didn't want to do this... I simply wouldn't date him.
I just couldn't do it....

At least for me, tickling is my only kink, and it turns me on more than anything else in the world. So, that's why I tell my boyfriend about this very early on. Its just... Well, Important to me.
I'm not saying he doesn't love you - (lol, obviously, he really does!)
But .... I don't think he told you this (during your first month together) because he was as-much in love with you, as he is now.
It was, again - something that was very important to him.


There are some things you can do.... Like, tactics.
In this situation, one of you is going to be unhappy unless you miraculously become aroused when tickled. It's possible, but unlikely. ~ That's why I'm not very optimistic.
If you REALLY don't like your feet being tickled, at all, I am almost certain that he will not be as happy, in general. And over time, it would get worse. As far as i know, Fetishes, don't just go away.
~~~ I can pretty much GUARANTEE you, this is something he thinks/fantasizes about nearly every single day. (Probably, daily) lol, I do. As does every other ticklephile I've met.
So, being with someone who's unwilling to fulfill these fantasies, would be utterly miserable for people like him. I'm just being totally honest; Thats' how I would feel.

** Just remember, it's not your fault that you don't like being tickled.
Most people don't, and that's totally reasonable. But when your planning on marrying a man with a foot-tickling fetish...... Well.....um.
Sorry if I sound rude, but that's the last thing I would've done.

People on here are encouraging you to try it, because they too would feel the same way if they were in his position. If your asking the TMF, then of course people would say this sort of thing cus they understand what it would be like.
~ But, I'd say you shouldn't have to do anything you really don't want to.
(Even tho being tickled is sooo fun and sexy 😉 ) lol.
At least, for those of us who like it. Whereas, it's brutal torture for most other people.
That... Is problematic.

He sounds like a great guy, willing to sacrifice a lot for you. Plus, you've been together for a while now, and your relationship has grown stronger.
So maybe everything will be fine. 🙂 or... In the long run, it might not be.


Really think about it.

 

[magic fingers]

Well obviously I'm not you. And I'm not just gonna give up one the man I love because I don't like getting tickled. Unlike people like you I'm willing to do anything and everything to make my man happy and he does the same for me. And even thou were sacrificing things for the other it makes us happy because we know that were making the other happy. That's what true love is really about. And sorry but I think it was rude as fuck for u to have the nerve to basically tell me to leave him cause one of us will never be happy. Like how dare you. I'm sorry you don't have someone who loves u as much as I love him and ur jealous but I'm not gonna let ur negativity and bad advice affect me and him. Obviously you don't know the meaning of true love. Sorry, not sorry. Your negativity and unecissary comments are not needed not wanted on this post ✌

Excuse me but you asked for advice and feedback, and that's what Aeverria provided. I don't think she was being mean or vindictive, she was simply being honest. Isn't that what you wanted?

 

[CapturedDoll]

Edit

 

[Park CollegeO]

Well obviously I'm not you. And I'm not just gonna give up one the man I love because I don't like getting tickled. Unlike people like you I'm willing to do anything and everything to make my man happy and he does the same for me. And even thou were sacrificing things for the other it makes us happy because we know that were making the other happy. That's what true love is really about. And sorry but I think it was rude as fuck for u to have the nerve to basically tell me to leave him cause one of us will never be happy. Like how dare you. I'm sorry you don't have someone who loves u as much as I love him and ur jealous but I'm not gonna let ur negativity and bad advice affect me and him. Obviously you don't know the meaning of true love. Sorry, not sorry. Your negativity and unecissary comments are not needed not wanted on this post ✌

 

[ITickleFeet2]

I'm sorry you guys. I'm her fiancé with the fetish and I very very much appriciate your guys honesty. My fiancé has a short temper. I'm sorry about that. Please continue to be honest. Your advice and comment are all very much appreciated. I love her very very much and want to spend my life with her. I love knowing fellow fetishers are willing to help us with this issue, thank you all of you. Your advice is helping us. I'm sorry about the previous post.

 

[MasterOfDoll]

HOLD ON A SECOND HERE, EVERYBODY!!!

Look, as someone else who's here, primarily because my partner and love of MY life (CapturedDoll) is a ticklephile... and I'm not, at least wasn't right off the bat, and I'm still WORLDS away from that level compared to most of ya'll... I can understand how Aeveirra's post could have upset this woman, who DID come here because of her love for her man and a deep commitment to making their life together work. I can understand because I'm here for the same reason, and like her, I'm still VERY new and don't know many people, especially not enough to understand the sometimes complicated subtext of how different people write, and how their personalities are...

Now, it seems to me at least that ITickleFeet2's relationship is pretty loving and pretty solid... Seems like their communication is good and it sounds like they're doing everything right so far... This doesn't sound like a "he's into tickling and I HATE it" post... Sounds more like a "he's into tickling and I want to be more into it as well, so how might one do that?" post.... So I can understand how hearing "you might need to break it off" could be VERY upsetting.

BUT...

I ALSO understand, though mostly through Doll, that it wasn't intentional, so I mean no disrespect to Aeveirra.

I'm not saying ANYONE is "wrong" here...

What I am saying is that perhaps as someone who started off in a similar situation to ITickleFeet2, but have VERY much come to enjoy at least the ler side of tickling I might have a little insight on how things escalated so quickly into going sideways.

Here's the thing, EVERY person's relationship is different and there's no ONE set piece of advice that ANYONE can give in this situation. So just keep that in mind ITickleFeet2... What works for US, or anyone ELSE on this board MAY or MAY NOT be applicable to the two of you... Take what works in your relationship and leave the rest, not as something that's BS, or wrong, but just as something that doesn't apply to your life together.

3+3=6.... but so does 2+4, and 1+5....

And while yes, Aeveirra is not wrong in the fact that there are people who have such strong ties to a solitary paraphilia that they only way they can be in a mutually satisfying relationship is if their partner is as well... but you also have to consider that there are so many other scales to measure "mutually satisfying", and people can ALSO have more than one paraphilia or fetish, and even enjoy non fetish, and even non sexual stimulation.

If Doll was ONLY into tickling, I can't say that it would work between us... but while tickling is her MAIN and strongest fetish, she has others as well, and can also enjoy experiences with very little tickling at all from time to time.. My primary fetish is BDSM as a lifestyle dominant, but who ALSO enjoys other fetishes, including, as it comes to find out, tickling... To me it doesn't matter if I'm working Doll up into a frenzy with a flogger or a tickle torture session... The results are BOTH satisfying to me.... So you can see there's a LOT of room for overlap...

In other words, it really depends on the people IN that relationship.

 

[mabus]

I'm sure she may end up reading replies anyway, so here we go:
You say you don't have any fantasies....right now.

But as your relationship grows, and you grow as a person, ....you'll get some.

It may be certain clothes he wears, certain colognes, sexy things he does to you (for example, kiss your neck, elbow, who knows...)

I bet he hasn't discovered all his fetishes/turn ons yet, either.

I love tickling. I also love pantyhose.

There are different kinds of nylons, and some are okay, some are great, some stop my heart.

You may wear a pair one day, and something will bubble up and boil within him and after a few hours of passionate sex!, ...he'll realize, "Damn, those style of stockings drive me crazy!!"

Or socks, or lingerie, or color of lingerie, or costume, etc.

He may discover he loves foot jobs, or hand jobs, and you on the other hand may discover you love GIVING them.

Pleasure and love is wonderfully complex, and sure is fun exploring.

On the fear part.....you will probably get over something like that.

For the first half of my life, I was terrified of dogs, after being attacked one night by a huge black dog that jumped on me in the dark and was viciousy barking right in my face......I was 5 years old...
A tad worse than being tickled and made to laugh.

After years of slowly being acclimated to dogs, I eventually got over the fear. They still annoy me to a degree when their rude owners let them jump on me, but it's not nearly
like it was when I was growing up.

 

[ITickleFeet2]

Thank you, MasterOfDoll I'm glad someone sees it from my point of view. And yes I do have a short temper especially when it comes to the man I love more than anything in the world I am very protective over him and felt like it was very rude to tell me that I shouldn't bother trying cause well never truly be happy anyway. I asked for advice on how to learn to love it and please him .. Breaking it off with him is not an option..

 

[MasterOfDoll]

Thank you, MasterOfDoll I'm glad someone sees it from my point of view. And yes I do have a short temper especially when it comes to the man I love more than anything in the world I am very protective over him and felt like it was very rude to tell me that I shouldn't bother trying cause well never truly be happy anyway. I asked for advice on how to learn to love it and please him .. Breaking it off with him is not an option..

Just be patient, we ALL should, EVERYONE, not just here but everywhere... Especially when we're talking to people we don't know well enough to really know their intentions, how they mean something, or how they may take something we say... especially online (more than half of communication is body language, so it can't come as a surprise that it's easy for anyone to be misunderstood online)...

I can understand your being protective, I REALLY do... especially since it's pretty clear in the reading that ya'll have something really really wonderful... Who WOULDN'T be protective of that... I can't say I wouldn't feel exactly the same if I felt someone said something negative about Doll or our relationship...

BUT... Just understand, the people here are generally good people, so just keep that in mind even if something comes off as being wrong. What Aeveirra said is true in some cases, especially in cases where there isn't clear and open communication in the relationship, or if there's an absolute stalemate between expectations and needs... To me, while I don't know the two of you, it doesn't sound like that's the case here since obviously you two ARE communicating, and it's pretty clear you're not outright opposed to tickling, just new to it and sorting everything out...


There are of course many things that MOST people have in common... That doesn't mean it's applicable to everyone, just as my, or Doll's or ya'll's, or anyone else's case might not apply to others.

Take the shame or guilt over having this or any other fetish or paraphilia that many, if not most people have for instance... Not EVERYONE does. Some grow out of it (as I did about BDSM and other things as well) and some never have it at all, and that's fine, especially if their partner feels the same... Some people actually get excited by the "shame" and "taboo" of something... That's fine too if their partner is also fine with it. Everyone is different and while there are always commonalities there's certainly no "one size fits all" in sex or relationships.

When we first met, years ago, Doll told me this was literally the first night we got to talk to each other alone, and over several drinks, that she "liked being tickled"... Back then I thought, "OK, Cool"... but it was brought up so lightly I didn't realize she was confessing her deepest secret to me... Imagine my surprise two years later when she was laying in our bed crying saying that she NEEDED tickling... and then telling me what a freak I MUST think she was for it.... My honest response was nothing of the sort... As I've mentioned my primary fetish is BDSM as a lifestyle dominant... I've even worked as a professional dominant... I have honestly heard so many people's fetishes, that I don't flinch at anything legal... There may be something that I don't do or that I'm not comfortable with (in fact there's plenty) but I didn't judge her... We talked and we've been SLOWLY incorporating more and more tickling into our relationship. We've been doing this much more in the last few years and while I'm still not as "in to it" as she is (for example, most tickling erotica doesn't do much for me, some however does... Doll's pretty much the reverse of that") it's definitely one of the most prominent aspects of our sexual, and even nonsexual relationship and even as someone who didn't start off "into tickling"... I couldn't be happier because I know how happy I'm making her. To me it's not an "inconvenience" for me, it's something I do because I love her and THAT gets me INTO it...

For me at least, it's kind of like oral sex, or giving a backrub... I may not "get off" simply by the act of DOING it, but I definitely get off on her reactions and enjoyment of what it is that I'm doing... (which is VERY much the same as topping in a classic BDSM scene was for me... I wouldn't enjoy the blindfolds and the whips and the chains and handcuffs if I wasn't driving my partner crazy...


So, just take things at the pace that's right for the two of YOU... You're the experts on your relationship, no one else is... Advice is wonderful and great and can come in amazingly helpful...YES, read up here, check out some tickling porn on your own AND especially together.... but at the end of the day what matters is that the two of YA'LL are happy.

As someone who was in a similar situation, MY advice (which is the same as all the other advice) is just keep on clearly communicating, and by all means be SURE to give time to your partner to talk, especially if they're ashamed of things... Let them know that you DON'T judge them harshly and understand that if they DO feel that shame it's been there a while, so it's going to take a LOT of talking and in some cases you'll ALWAYS have to reassure them that it's all good. (Doll STILL has moments where she has serious doubts that I enjoy tickling) so it's REALLY important to reassure them... Most importantly, just make a commitment to work as hard as you both can to having a great relationship and be honest about your feelings. If you don't like something or if it's too much for you, say so. There's always time to talk about things and figure out where it went from "ok, this is cool" to "I'm not comfortable"... but it's important for you BOTH to CLEARLY communicate, and when I say CLEARLY I mean start off INSANELY clear... as in "Technical Manual level of clear"... (it can be a bit frustrating at first, but it SERIOUSLY helps avoid miscommunication by thinking the other person "gets it" when they don't.

It's not always easy, misunderstandings happen, arguments happen, LIFE happens... but ya just have to do what anyone else in any other long term relationship does. Recognize you both love each other, work on things together, and just been good to one another.

MOD.

 

[kcantankerous]

Thank you, MasterOfDoll I'm glad someone sees it from my point of view. And yes I do have a short temper especially when it comes to the man I love more than anything in the world I am very protective over him and felt like it was very rude to tell me that I shouldn't bother trying cause well never truly be happy anyway. I asked for advice on how to learn to love it and please him .. Breaking it off with him is not an option..

Hello,

I don't understand. The poster that upset you made it clear in so many ways that it was just her opinion. You will not satisfy your man completely if you cannot find a way to compromise on the fetish. No way around that. You obviously are trying. She was just giving her take on the situation. You won't get much sympathy if you lash out at someone who is trying to be helpful.

In closing, either find a happy medium or just realize you are not satisfying your man completely. Those are your two options.

Thanks and best of luck,

K

 

[FFT32]

ITickleFeet2 Couple, I am very glad you guys stuck it out on this thread. The advice that has been given hopefully is both comforting and inspiring.

It seems that you are committed to each other and want to build towards a life long relationship. Just as with any other aspect of a relationship, their must be give and take. With regards to how the tickle fetish fits into your relationship, perhaps consider the following:

1) Simple one-stroke touches on her feet with long pauses in between to not overwhelm and talk about how it feels to both of you. Naturally you can add more from there.

2) Do some research, do you guys know about the area in the brain where the genitals and feet are closely housed? Perhaps combine touches to both areas at the same time to see if creates any tolerable/pleasurable feeling for her...?

There is no exact blue print or rules to follow here. Just be open, honest and true as you explore the fetish.

Good Luck!

 

[Lucky87]

I was the same way ticklefeet2. Embarrassed to death about my fetish. I think it's awesome that you finally told her and she is accepting of it. It definitely sucks that she hates having her feet tickled but ya know what if you two love each other which it looks you do...you should be able to come up with some boundaries. Take it slow and I'm sure you two will make it work so you can fill your tastes with your fetish. Number one the fact that your being honest with her now about your secret is great!👍🏼

 

[JaySnow]

Hello All,
I am new to this tickle fetish stuff and hope that some of you TMF vets can answer a couple questions for me. You see, my unbelievably amazing fiancé has a foot tickling fetish. In addition to being the love of my life and proved to me over and over and over again that he would sacrifice whatever he had to, whenever he had to, to make absolutely sure I was happy and taken care of. His selflessness amazes me and inspires me in so many ways. The fact that he has always been more than willing to sacrifice and give up anything and everything he had too for me because he loves me which only further proves it's time to take action and find answers to the questions I have had since I found out about his fetish 2 years ago. I was amazed that out of everyone else in the world he choose me to share his deepest darkest secret that he kept hidden for 24 years, and he only knew me for not even month. I was so surprised that he wanted to tell me. Granted it was over s text message but hey, It made me feel special lol. He told me he had something to tell me, he went to the bathroom and text me "I'm sorry to tell u like this but this is my deepest darkest secret, I know it's fuckin weird but I have a foot tickling fetish. I understand if u don't want to be with a freak" as I read it I was almost in disbelief that that was his deepest darkest secret. I waited for him to come back before answering him and as he walked in the room I could tell he was about to puke from nerves and had an absolute look of fear and terror on his face. After telling him I accepted it he could not believe it. It made me so mad that he really believed he was a freak and a weirdo. He didn't see the amazing man I saw and it was at that moment that I made it my goal to make him see the man I seen when I looked at him and prove to him that no matter what I had to do to show him he was never a freak and that I will love him unconditionally no matter what his fetish is. I want to love his fetish as well because it is a part of him but.... I hate being tickled on my feet. Sooo I was hoping y'all could help me achieve that goal and give me some tips on how to get over my childhood phobia of being tickled so that me and my fiancé can maybe find a way to make it where we both can enjoy it. Unfortunetly I don't have any fetishes or fantasys just so you know. Any ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Please help me!!! Thank You!!!

P.s. This is his account and I have never been on here so I hope I did it right!!!

Hmmm,,, well let me just say that you're way ahead of the game! My wife and I have been married for over 25 years and I don't think I told her until about 6 years ago. Now granted, she figured out that I had an obsession with tickling her little feet many many years ago. Probably within the first few months we were together. I took almost 20 years to say it out loud. Now her feet are terribly ticklish and I respect that. I absolutely never hold her down and tickle her but from time to time she will let me tie her up. I never tickle her to a point of panic. There are days where she kindly asks me not to tickle her and I respect that. I give her foot rubs and back rubs and massages anywhere she likes and I make sure NOT to tickle her at all.
I will say, she does indulge my fetish and has NO interest in it on her own. She will sit and pleasure me while she lets me tickle her feet. What I have noticed that she has learned (w/o any coaching or instruction from me) that the more she laughs and says things like "That tickles so much", "No, not there, my toes are so ticklish!" The faster I'll climax and the sooner the tickling ends. Hey, were together 27 years. Luckily for me I prefer to tickle her lightly and she responds. She used to try and not laugh which would only egg me on to tickle her until I achieved my goal of her musical laughter. My advice is relax, allow the tickling to make you laugh thus giving him his desired results. Tell him that he has to respect your needs as well and it do what's comfortable.
I do know this for certain. Men, ALL MEN respond to reward and are goal oriented. As are women for sure. I'd suggest set specific days during the week where he gets to have your feet in his lap to gently tickle as you giggle. I'd say make Friday one of them plus one other day. That'll give him something to look forward and you time to mentally prepare. Set a time limit your comfortable with.
Again, you are waaaay ahead of the game. If you shut him down completely he will, w/o a doubt, seek release else where. Right, wrong or indifferent it's just fact. I'm not condoning it. Look at it like this. If he is a man that doesn't satisfy you emotionally and make you feel loved you will, w/o a doubt seek that out elsewhere.
Good luck